Shaun-Dro Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I went to visit my mother this afternoon and her sister (my aunt) was just there. I walked in on the two of them talking about this guy my aunt was seeing that lied and cheated on her, and how she had broken up with him. I was asked my opinion of the guy my aunt had been dating and I replied with honesty the way I always do, but then my aunt brought up the girl I'm currently seeing and warned me to never lie to her . I just looked at my aunt as she talked about this issue, telling that a man should never lie to a woman he's dating no matter what. I said "Okay, whatever, but what about all these women that's been lying to men for years about what they really want from us?" and my mom tells me that's different and she won't get into it with me. Needless to say this is nonsense as I have no idea what her problem is, and I so badly wanted to straighten her out, but being she's old enough to be my own mother I held off from doing so. She wouldn't had given me the chance to reel into her like I wanted to. Does anyone else agree that my aunt was out of line with her statement and belief? I'd like to hear some opinions because this is new to me.
KathyM Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I went to visit my mother this afternoon and her sister (my aunt) was just there. I walked in on the two of them talking about this guy my aunt was seeing that lied and cheated on her, and how she had broken up with him. I was asked my opinion of the guy my aunt had been dating and I replied with honesty the way I always do, but then my aunt brought up the girl I'm currently seeing and warned me to never lie to her . I just looked at my aunt as she talked about this issue, telling that a man should never lie to a woman he's dating no matter what. I said "Okay, whatever, but what about all these women that's been lying to men for years about what they really want from us?" and my mom tells me that's different and she won't get into it with me. Needless to say this is nonsense as I have no idea what her problem is, and I so badly wanted to straighten her out, but being she's old enough to be my own mother I held off from doing so. She wouldn't had given me the chance to reel into her like I wanted to. Does anyone else agree that my aunt was out of line with her statement and belief? I'd like to hear some opinions because this is new to me. I don't think your aunt was out of line at all. She was hurt by a lying partner, and was trying to teach you a lesson in the process about the importance of honesty in a relationship and that you never should lie to a partner. She was trying to give you some motherly advice. I did the same thing with my son. When my sister and her husband went through a very difficult time where there was infidelity and eventually a divorce, and I saw how much damage it does to a relationship, I told my son (who was recently married) to make sure you never cheat on your wife. It destroys the bond and trust in a marriage, and you can never truly get that back. I hope he'll heed my advice and always be a faithful husband. Your aunt was trying to teach you how to treat women. You'd be wise to listen to her.
Jessica45 Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I went to visit my mother this afternoon and her sister (my aunt) was just there. I walked in on the two of them talking about this guy my aunt was seeing that lied and cheated on her, and how she had broken up with him. I was asked my opinion of the guy my aunt had been dating and I replied with honesty the way I always do, but then my aunt brought up the girl I'm currently seeing and warned me to never lie to her . I just looked at my aunt as she talked about this issue, telling that a man should never lie to a woman he's dating no matter what. I said "Okay, whatever, but what about all these women that's been lying to men for years about what they really want from us?" and my mom tells me that's different and she won't get into it with me. Needless to say this is nonsense as I have no idea what her problem is, and I so badly wanted to straighten her out, but being she's old enough to be my own mother I held off from doing so. She wouldn't had given me the chance to reel into her like I wanted to. Does anyone else agree that my aunt was out of line with her statement and belief? I'd like to hear some opinions because this is new to me.Your Aunt believes that men should not lie to women. I agree with that belief. Your response was, "what about all these women that's been lying to men for years about what they really want from us?". I'm not really sure what you meant by "what they really want from us" so I can't really comment. But it doesn't matter. Assuming you are correct, why does the fact that some women lie make it ok for you to do the same?
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 So, you think that lying to women is fine, and you wish to "reel into" anybody who tries to tell you otherwise? No surprise, but still, it's very ridiculous.
Jonny_Wodd Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I understand where the original poster is coming from. For every man that has lied and cheated on a woman, there have been at least two honest and caring men she found to be "too nice". And there lies your double standard. Women claim they want to be loved by an honest and caring man, but they always choose to try to tame the wild beast (the liar/cheater).
Jessica45 Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I understand where the original poster is coming from. For every man that has lied and cheated on a woman, there have been at least two honest and caring men she found to be "too nice". And there lies your double standard. Women claim they want to be loved by an honest and caring man, but they always choose to try to tame the wild beast (the liar/cheater).Honest and caring nice girls want honest and caring nice men. If you are after a woman that goes for the bad boys, then perhaps you are looking at the wrong type of woman. I keep hearing that women like bad boys. Seems like some men like bad girls.
Romeofud Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Honest and caring nice girls want honest and caring nice men. If you are after a woman that goes for the bad boys, then perhaps you are looking at the wrong type of woman. I keep hearing that women like bad boys. Seems like some men like bad girls. Truth be told man women go for anything just about. She makes decisions based on her emotions at the time. That can change in the next hour lol. I never take her seriously. I just rap to her and then wham bam thank u mam and on to the next, rinse and repeat. I'm a badboy that always go for the so-called good girls but they aren't really good are they? The double-standard issue was created by the chicks in an effort to just further emasculate the brothers or whatever. Take back brothers I'm just gonna say men in general because brothers like me are hardest to tame.
sally4sara Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Truth be told man women go for anything just about. She makes decisions based on her emotions at the time. That can change in the next hour lol. I never take her seriously. I just rap to her and then wham bam thank u mam and on to the next, rinse and repeat. I'm a badboy that always go for the so-called good girls but they aren't really good are they? The double-standard issue was created by the chicks in an effort to just further emasculate the brothers or whatever. Take back brothers I'm just gonna say men in general because brothers like me are hardest to tame. Way to be a walking stereotype. I suppose going to prison is also on your to-do list? whattadumbass
Feelsgoodman Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Honest and caring nice girls want honest and caring nice men. Wrong. They say they want an honest and caring young man. In reality, every woman, no matter how "nice" or "honest" wants a guy that makes her vagina tingle. And nice guys usually fall short in that department.
Feelsgoodman Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Way to be a walking stereotype. I suppose going to prison is also on your to-do list? whattadumbass You're upset because he speaks the truth. Women rely on their emotions, not their head, when it comes to who they are attracted to. The idea that "good girls" go for "good guys" is the biggest lie in the book.
zengirl Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I went to visit my mother this afternoon and her sister (my aunt) was just there. I walked in on the two of them talking about this guy my aunt was seeing that lied and cheated on her, and how she had broken up with him. I was asked my opinion of the guy my aunt had been dating and I replied with honesty the way I always do, but then my aunt brought up the girl I'm currently seeing and warned me to never lie to her . I just looked at my aunt as she talked about this issue, telling that a man should never lie to a woman he's dating no matter what. I said "Okay, whatever, but what about all these women that's been lying to men for years about what they really want from us?" and my mom tells me that's different and she won't get into it with me. Needless to say this is nonsense as I have no idea what her problem is, and I so badly wanted to straighten her out, but being she's old enough to be my own mother I held off from doing so. She wouldn't had given me the chance to reel into her like I wanted to. Does anyone else agree that my aunt was out of line with her statement and belief? I'd like to hear some opinions because this is new to me. I agree with your aunt that lying and cheating is bad. I have no idea what you are saying girls lie about with your particular statement. . . I think women and men should both not lie and cheat and don't see where your aunt or mother said otherwise. What does "Okay, whatever, but what about all these women that's been lying to men for years about what they really want from us?" and my mom tells me that's different this mean. Are these women lying and cheating? If so, then I don't see how it's different. However, if they're doing something different. . . then, it would be different.
serial muse Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I said "Okay, whatever, but what about all these women that's been lying to men for years about what they really want from us?" and my mom tells me that's different and she won't get into it with me. Yeah, sorry, I don't know what you're saying here either. What does this mean? If you were telling your aunt that women shouldn't lie and cheat on their men either, and she disagreed with you, then yes, that's a double standard and not OK. But it sounds like you were making some other kind of point, and I don't understand what you were saying. Clarify?
serial muse Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 OP's point and post are crystal clear. When lectured at out of the blue and undeservedly, "men shouldn't lie to women," (paraphrase) he responds with,"what about women lying to men?" (paraphrase) Instead of the reasonable answer, "you are right, no one should lie to anyone regardless of gender," he gets a typical female brushoff that many women display as a kneejerk reaction whenever anything a woman does is questioned by a man, and it annoyed him enough to make a post about it, as it is an example of a particular type of double standard. Was the OP really that hard to figure out? Dude, take the chip off your shoulder and read the posts. The OP wrote that what he said was that women lie about "what they really want from us." If you can read the OP's mind, please go ahead and explain what that means. What do women really want from men, such that they are lying about it? It's a fair question to ask for clarification. Otherwise, I'd rather he did it. Thanks.
Queen Zenobia Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 OP's point and post are crystal clear. When lectured at out of the blue and undeservedly, "men shouldn't lie to women," (paraphrase) he responds with,"what about women lying to men?" (paraphrase) Instead of the reasonable answer, "you are right, no one should lie to anyone regardless of gender," he gets a typical female brushoff that many women display as a kneejerk reaction whenever anything a woman does is questioned by a man, and it annoyed him enough to make a post about it, as it is an example of a particular type of double standard. Was the OP really that hard to figure out? Yes apparently. I read the post as complaining that his mother thought that a man lying was different (not ok) than a woman lying (ok). The only objection I had to his post was that he insinuated that it's somehow a female trait to have double standards. The double standards exist for some but not all women. Lying by either gender is generally a bad thing.
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 OP's point and post are crystal clear. When lectured at out of the blue and undeservedly, "men shouldn't lie to women," (paraphrase) he responds with,"what about women lying to men?" (paraphrase) Instead of the reasonable answer, "you are right, no one should lie to anyone regardless of gender," he gets a typical female brushoff that many women display as a kneejerk reaction whenever anything a woman does is questioned by a man, and it annoyed him enough to make a post about it, as it is an example of a particular type of double standard. Was the OP really that hard to figure out? If you hold off on the "paraphrasing" (in this case, re-phrasing the OP to conform to the perspective that you wish to promote), and just take what the OP gave us, there is not a "double standard" expressed at all. His aunt said: a man should never lie to a woman he's dating no matter what He said : but what about all these women that's been lying to men for years about what they really want from us?" Mom responded with: that's different and she won't get into it with me. I'm sure that some family dynamics are in play here, and there is probably a good reason why his mom doesn't want to "get into it" with this particular poster. He expresses hatred of women vehemently here every time he posts; his mom is probably aware of that and his aunt's sad venting time is understandably not a time to delve into Shaun-Dro's unfortunate issues. Anyway, auntie was ADVISING her nephew. From what was posted, she was not DEFENDING any lying. She was simply giving her nephew some advice that seemed timely, under the circumstances, and probably in an emotionally charged environment. A "double standard" was not expressed here at all. Advice given, which would have been good advice no matter the gender of the giver or the receiver of it. Followed by avoidance of a GENERAL "gender war" discussion that Shaun-Dro wanted to launch. If y'all weren't all hung up in your fear and loathing of your sisters in humanity, you'd see that there is nothing at all to argue about. Double standards exist, all right. They aren't expressed in the exchange that Shaun-Dro shared.
zengirl Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 A "double standard" was not expressed here at all. Advice given, which would have been good advice no matter the gender of the giver or the receiver of it. Followed by avoidance of a GENERAL "gender war" discussion that Shaun-Dro wanted to launch. If y'all weren't all hung up in your fear and loathing of your sisters in humanity, you'd see that there is nothing at all to argue about. Double standards exist, all right. They aren't expressed in the exchange that Shaun-Dro shared. Yeah, that's what I don't get. I didn't see either Mom or Aunt say (in his exchange) that it's cool for women to lie to men and cheat on them. (If they did say so, I'd say: Wrong.) And I have no idea what the OP meant by that one part. Still waiting for him to clarify that one.
rafallus Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I said "Okay, whatever, but what about all these women that's been lying to men for years about what they really want from us?" and my mom tells me that's different and she won't get into it with me. I would just ignore it as gibberish. And probably take the person less seriously as a result.
zengirl Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Many women have a laundry list a mile long of characteristics they say they want in a man, then ignore men who possess those traits in favor of men who stimulate their impulsive emotions in the moment. That's lying. Simple. Not at all hard to follow. I don't know if this is what the OP means as I don't think his point is "crystal clear" at all (clear as mud maybe). However . . . that's not actually lying. Lying is telling someone something that you know to be not true, and his aunt was talking about lying under the context of lying and cheating---these are deliberate acts. All human beings --- male and female --- think they want things they find out they really don't want, have feelings that change about what or who they want or how they feel, and are impacted by their emotions in the moment. I've had boyfriends tell me they'd love me forever . . . and not love me forever. It doesn't mean they were lying; it means things change. It's a bit silly to expect people to always know exactly how they feel and will feel in the future.
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I don't know if this is what the OP means as I don't think his point is "crystal clear" at all (clear as mud maybe). I believe that everything is crystal clear to someone who does not attend to what is actually said or written, but simply applies his or her own monumental bias to every conversation, situation, word or scenario. No need to be troubled by reality, that way.
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Thank you for not flame-baiting. Please stop flame-baiting by constantly using the (lame) term "flame-baiting" whenever someone says something that does not confirm and support your prejudice. Thanks!
thatone Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 it's pretty funny that all of the women replying to this thread don't get the OP's point, lol. a) "i was too busy to call/text back" is a lie. b) "something came up i'm gonna have to cancel" is a lie. c) "i'm just going out drinking and dancing with the girls" is a lie. d) "he's just a friend there's nothing to worry about with him" is a lie. there are plenty more examples i'm sure others can provide, those are the first four that came to my mind. just because men often tolerate those lies from women doesn't mean that they are anything but lies.
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 it's pretty funny that all of the women replying to this thread don't get the OP's point, lol. a) "i was too busy to call/text back" is a lie. b) "something came up i'm gonna have to cancel" is a lie. c) "i'm just going out drinking and dancing with the girls" is a lie. d) "he's just a friend there's nothing to worry about with him" is a lie. there are plenty more examples i'm sure others can provide, those are the first four that came to my mind. just because men often tolerate those lies from women doesn't mean that they are anything but lies. But ... NONE OF THESE EXAMPLES WERE EVEN ALLUDED TO IN THE OP. Your stance presupposes that "everyone knows" that "all women" do stuff like that. Just like "everyone knows" that gay people are so by choice. Or that Black people can't swim. "All of the women replying to this thread" do not subscribe to the stereotypes, so they are not in the forefront of our minds. There are several men on LoveShack who don't subscribe to them either, but most of you most vocal guys do. It seems like an unfortunate club to belong to. I suggest resigning your membership and joining the ranks of the men who can have happy and healthy relationships with women. Or, joining a monastery or getting a life sentence in prison (without having to commit a crime against a person to do so, please).
Queen Zenobia Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 it's pretty funny that all of the women replying to this thread don't get the OP's point, lol. a) "i was too busy to call/text back" is a lie. b) "something came up i'm gonna have to cancel" is a lie. c) "i'm just going out drinking and dancing with the girls" is a lie. d) "he's just a friend there's nothing to worry about with him" is a lie. there are plenty more examples i'm sure others can provide, those are the first four that came to my mind. just because men often tolerate those lies from women doesn't mean that they are anything but lies. It's pretty funny that you don't know how to read lol, because I clearly wrote that I understood exactly what the OP was saying (therefore the part of your post that I bolded is patently untrue). I had some reservations but overall I got it and thought he had a good point.
Woggle Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Some and the I do mean some women feel that a man should treat them like a princess with the utmost respect but they have the right to treat a man any way they want. To me both genders should be treated with respect but I bet some women would never tell their daughters never to lie to a man.
Queen Zenobia Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 But ... NONE OF THESE EXAMPLES WERE EVEN ALLUDED TO IN THE OP. Your stance presupposes that "everyone knows" that "all women" do stuff like that. Just like "everyone knows" that gay people are so by choice. Or that Black people can't swim. "All of the women replying to this thread" do not subscribe to the stereotypes, so they are not in the forefront of our minds. There are several men on LoveShack who don't subscribe to them either, but most of you most vocal guys do. It seems like an unfortunate club to belong to. I suggest resigning your membership and joining the ranks of the men who can have happy and healthy relationships with women. Or, joining a monastery or getting a life sentence in prison (without having to commit a crime against a person to do so, please). I think it goes back to the kinds of women these guys are dating or the kinds of girls their friends are dating. There are plenty of women who don't cheat or lie or whatever, but the ones who do have unfortunately made a name for themselves. Guys can either attribute those actions to women as a whole or to those particular women that they came across. I'm not trying to excuse making stereotypes, but sometimes people do so based on their own (unfortunate) experiences.
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