Good luck sweetie

July 20, 2011

Few months ago i met this man over hobby we share. I thought he was a hottie coming on to me. I backed off for some good time till i thought, then why not take a ride with him, nothing more. But soon learned this man being more than a ride. I told him, for him being everything and more i could dream of a man i would have to leave as soon as i started falling in too deep. For i choose not to take the pain and humiliation of being the OW, the second.

Yesterday i told him it was time. But i made a mistake. We had planned a vacation together and we decided to keep it up untill then and after that split.

He called me after that talk, and again tonight. Suddenly i feel all this talk being just frustrating and i don't wanna hear from him anymore. I promised him the vacation but now i just don't wanna have anything to do with him. It pisses me off that i had to be such an ass and promise him that. And it pisses me off that i have to be so darn serious about promises.

He says he told his wife he's leaving, he's talks about us and future. I've been around the block more than once so i know not to build my life on dreams, maybe's and someday's.

Good luck sweetie, i'm not gonna be around watching you doing your choices

Edited July 20, 2011 by Tirai
typo

July 20, 2011

i'd stick with your healthy boundary.

IF and when he may divorce - tell him to contact you after it's final. that way you don't get caught up in his drama and chaos, or even wasting your time and energy in case he doesn't intend to divorce. words mean nothing...

no need to go on vacation with him - just wasting more invested time. you offered to pay? IF he wanted a vacation with you - HE should pay! he's mooching off you - he may have no intention of continuing with you at all - but may just want a free vacation. how was he planning to explain that absence to his wife? i'm sure he hasn't told her her wants to leave... they all say that - when he ACTUALLY does leave - and divorces her - AND it's final, is when you can believe him.

tell him only to contact IF that ever happens.

July 20, 2011

Sounds like you made a good decision.

Who cares if you "hurt his little feelings" about the vacation.

You don't need to be an OW! Find a single guy and be NO. 1 !!!

July 21, 2011

I doubt he told his wife he was leaving.. He just told you that he told her. Unless you can verify this with her, assume he's full of shi.t and telling you what you want to hear.

Good for you, for ending it! You don't need to be second fiddle to him. Hope you find a single guy when the timing is right, you deserve to be loved and have a relationship that you can be proud of, not one in which you have to hide and be his secret.

July 21, 2011

Please, don't think badly of him, he's the man i adore -even i can't stay with him. Even he's married and had an affair, he's not a bad person. He's just human.

He's no mooch, neither am i -we both always pay our share. He doesn't live with his wife so being away is not a problem.

We've spoken a lot just about everything. I think he's been very open and sincere. When he says they've spoken about separating, i have no reason not to believe. If they eventually will some day, i don't know and i don't think he does either at the moment. I don't wanna be a factor of anykind on that. I believe everyone should work it out themselves without any pull or push from others. We didn't mean to fall for each other.

So today i called off the vacation. I told him i can't do it. We spoke a lot. This hurts, but further we let it go, more it hurts. I asked him not to contact me unless he has another situation in his life some day and he still feels like it, he then can check where am i standing in my life.

I wish i was tougher and could take it, for he makes me totally happy when we are together and everything in him i adore. But i am not. And first i have to take care of myself and try to make decisions for the better in the long run. That i've learned the hard way.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and kind words

July 21, 2011

Please, don't think badly of him, he's the man i adore -even i can't stay with him. Even he's married and had an affair, he's not a bad person. He's just human.

He's no mooch, neither am i -we both always pay our share. He doesn't live with his wife so being away is not a problem.

We've spoken a lot just about everything. I think he's been very open and sincere. When he says they've spoken about separating, i have no reason not to believe. If they eventually will some day, i don't know and i don't think he does either at the moment. I don't wanna be a factor of anykind on that. I believe everyone should work it out themselves without any pull or push from others. We didn't mean to fall for each other.

So today i called off the vacation. I told him i can't do it. We spoke a lot. This hurts, but further we let it go, more it hurts. I asked him not to contact me unless he has another situation in his life some day and he still feels like it, he then can check where am i standing in my life.

I wish i was tougher and could take it, for he makes me totally happy when we are together and everything in him i adore. But i am not. And first i have to take care of myself and try to make decisions for the better in the long run. That i've learned the hard way.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and kind words

That is your opinion and you have every right to stick to it, stand by it, wave like a flag. But quite a few people don't share that view of a person being good living a big ole fat lie on a daily basis. Putting time and energy into deceit does not say, "hey look at me, I am a good person". But we do agree he is human...just what kind of human is were the views diverge.

July 21, 2011

That is your opinion and you have every right to stick to it, stand by it, wave like a flag. But quite a few people don't share that view of a person being good living a big ole fat lie on a daily basis. Putting time and energy into deceit does not say, "hey look at me, I am a good person". But we do agree he is human...just what kind of human is were the views diverge.

And likewise, having an affair doesn't mean a person is evil.

July 21, 2011

And likewise, having an affair doesn't mean a person is evil.

I never used the word evil. I don't think he is evil. I just don't think daily deceit makes you anything other than a liar.

July 21, 2011

I never used the word evil.

I know you didn't. I didn't mean to imply you said that. It's just an observation.

July 21, 2011

I don't understand and I hope you can help me....

Please, don't think badly of him, he's the man i adore -even i can't stay with him. Even he's married and had an affair, he's not a bad person. He's just human.

Ok...so you adore him. Fair enough.

He's no mooch, neither am i -we both always pay our share. He doesn't live with his wife so being away is not a problem.

And he doesn't live with his W.

We've spoken a lot just about everything. I think he's been very open and sincere. When he says they've spoken about separating, i have no reason not to believe.

And you two talk openly.

So why call it off?

You know he is M and doesn't live with his W and believe he has told his W he wants to divorce...why the cancellation?

Especially since you adore him.

I presume these open talks included his plan to file for D...why end it now?

Given what I read, I just dont understand your choice.

If they eventually will some day, i don't know and i don't think he does either at the moment.

Does this mean he has backtracked on leaving his W? The one he doesn't live with?

I don't wanna be a factor of anykind on that.

Way too late for that and you know it.

Just don't know what changed that made you call it off.

July 21, 2011

I know you didn't. I didn't mean to imply you said that. It's just an observation.

Since my post was quoted, that is how the implication was perceived. I understand.

July 22, 2011

And likewise, having an affair doesn't mean a person is evil.

Though it means the person having an affair is extremely selfish and puts his/her first above everyone else.

The person may not be "evil", but their behaviour certainly can be evil, especially when a D-day happens and the WS denies, lies, minimizes and gaslights..

July 22, 2011

Please, don't think badly of him, he's the man i adore -even i can't stay with him. Even he's married and had an affair, he's not a bad person. He's just human.

He's no mooch, neither am i -we both always pay our share. He doesn't live with his wife so being away is not a problem.

We've spoken a lot just about everything. I think he's been very open and sincere. When he says they've spoken about separating, i have no reason not to believe. If they eventually will some day, i don't know and i don't think he does either at the moment. I don't wanna be a factor of anykind on that. I believe everyone should work it out themselves without any pull or push from others. We didn't mean to fall for each other.

So today i called off the vacation. I told him i can't do it. We spoke a lot. This hurts, but further we let it go, more it hurts. I asked him not to contact me unless he has another situation in his life some day and he still feels like it, he then can check where am i standing in my life.

I wish i was tougher and could take it, for he makes me totally happy when we are together and everything in him i adore. But i am not. And first i have to take care of myself and try to make decisions for the better in the long run. That i've learned the hard way.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and kind words

If you were his wife, I doubt very much you'd think of him so highly. Remember, he DID love her enough to marry her, have a life with her.. And now, look how he's treating her! The woman he said vows to in front of family, friends, relatives.. He is betraying her in the worst way. You think he wouldn't ever lie or minmize/bend the truth to suit him best? Or omit truths? He lies to her every single day, so why wouldn't he lie to you as well?

I am glad you called the holiday off. Take it each day as it comes and rely on good friends and family to help you through this.

July 22, 2011

Though it means the person having an affair is extremely selfish and puts his/her first above everyone else. [/Quote]

Sometimes. In my view sometimes it's a coping mechanism or a reaction to s trauma. Or many other things. For me different situations are to be viewed differently.

The person may not be "evil", but their behaviour certainly can be evil, especially when a D-day happens and the WS denies, lies, minimizes and gaslights..

Some people are certainly unfortunate enough to have this experience.

July 22, 2011

Sometimes. In my view sometimes it's a coping mechanism or a reaction to s trauma. Or many other things. For me different situations are to be viewed differently.

Some people are certainly unfortunate enough to have this experience.

You complain ad nauseum about people not offering support to the newbie OP, and here you are rudely jacking her thread, without a word of support to her.

Frankly, I think you owe her an apology, and I hope you are big enough to give it to her.

That being said....

OP- you are right to cancel the vacation, no matter how much you adore him. Telling him to contact you only when he is available will help you move on, but please don't sit around hoping that since you've left the door open, that he'll come around.

Be prepared for him to break NC (no contact) just to check in and see how you are doing. Be prepared to break NC yourself in a weak moment.

Remember that you are worth more than what he can offer, and keep telling yourself that whenever you feel like slipping backwards.

Good luck!

July 23, 2011

went out last night to horse race, couple of drinks and nightswim with friends and going out tonight also. have spoken a lot about this and i'm glad i'm able to. it helps. suppose

jw, you asked why call it off now.

the emotions became too big. couple of weeks ago i told him i need to cool my head a little so we didn't see. called every day but no meeting. i started living on his calls and missed him so much i felt physically ill. it's too much.

i've been the OW once before and even he divorced and we were together for years and then separated as best of friends -i will not go trough that torment again.

this affair developed real fast after it started.

they've been on this situation for years and have spoken about separating before but have not moved on. these things can take ages and i don't wanna be in there dying every time he has to call our time off for her wife or family needing him to whatever. plus keeping up the being just friends infront of people. i don't wanna hide. i don't wanna lie to my family when they ask about me.

if too late for not being a factor atleast not pulling or pushing.

i've been married. i didn't wanna marry in the first place but was too young and the pressure from around made me give up. at age of 20 i was walking that aisle thinking "i can take this, i've lived already". so i married a man i didn't love. we were married for 6 years and it was not a happy trip. did i stray -no. did he stray -yes. did i care -no.

still, it was not easy to leave and it took me time to really make up the decision. therefor i understand these things take their time, if there has been love at some point -even more for hope seems to die last even on hopeless. in my marriage it was hope of learning to love, or atleast tolerating each other, working it out, living like we are expected to. what a waste.

in general i'm anti marriage person. it's the forever promises that should not be given. we don't know what will come. and people change. we should be able to move and react to changing situations without the load of those promises and the pressure from around when things go ****s. i think all we can really promise is "for now"

thanks everyone for your input and no worries about feeling "jacked" or anything

and thanks jthorne, i wont be sitting around waiting. i can't. that would kill me.

there are moments i think i'm the craziest woman on earth, wish i could go back in time and not do this. yet i know, and writing and talking gives this knowledge even more strength -i care too much to be his second. i'm better off him if that is all he can offer.

take care everyone

July 24, 2011

Please, don't think badly of him, he's the man i adore -even i can't stay with him. Even he's married and had an affair, he's not a bad person. He's just human.

He's no mooch, neither am i -we both always pay our share. He doesn't live with his wife so being away is not a problem.

We've spoken a lot just about everything. I think he's been very open and sincere. When he says they've spoken about separating, i have no reason not to believe. If they eventually will some day, i don't know and i don't think he does either at the moment. I don't wanna be a factor of anykind on that. I believe everyone should work it out themselves without any pull or push from others. We didn't mean to fall for each other.

So today i called off the vacation. I told him i can't do it. We spoke a lot. This hurts, but further we let it go, more it hurts. I asked him not to contact me unless he has another situation in his life some day and he still feels like it, he then can check where am i standing in my life.

I wish i was tougher and could take it, for he makes me totally happy when we are together and everything in him i adore. But i am not. And first i have to take care of myself and try to make decisions for the better in the long run. That i've learned the hard way.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and kind words

I was going to reply, but then I saw bent's post below and she said pretty much what I wanted to say.... plus he is a coward, doesn't know how to be faithful, doesn't respect your or his wife and is a jerk for not ending one relationship (in this case a MARRIAGE) before finding his next conquest.

That is your opinion and you have every right to stick to it, stand by it, wave like a flag. But quite a few people don't share that view of a person being good living a big ole fat lie on a daily basis. Putting time and energy into deceit does not say, "hey look at me, I am a good person". But we do agree he is human...just what kind of human is were the views diverge.

Sometimes. In my view sometimes it's a coping mechanism or a reaction to s trauma. Or many other things. For me different situations are to be viewed differently.

Affairs are because because people can't cope or deal with trauma? That doesn't make sense to me. My brother lost his child; yet he nor his wife had an affair. My best friends mom died, but she didn't go have an affair. I had a miscarriage before my son was born, but I didn't have an affair. I am not understanding how you equate trauma to having an affair.

Had you said people who have affairs tend to be selfish and self centered, I would have agreed. So in your situation, the MM you are with had an affair because what trauma occurred? Or what was he unable to cope with? What made him turn to another woman (and it can't be the alleged lack of never having sex with his wife since he was accustomed to that)

i've been the OW once before and even he divorced and we were together for years and then separated as best of friends -i will not go trough that torment again.

**Ahhh, so this affair wasn't your first. You knew pretty much how things would pan out so you decided to get out before you spent too much time waiting for a 'maybe' divorce. That's good!

this affair developed real fast after it started.
they've been on this situation for years and have spoken about separating before but have not moved on. these things can take ages and i don't wanna be in there dying every time he has to call our time off for her wife or family needing him to whatever. plus keeping up the being just friends infront of people. i don't wanna hide. i don't wanna lie to my family when they ask about me.

**And you know from the wife that they have spoken about separating before? I don't understand ... a couple discusses separating, but just never follows through? And FYI, it doesn't take ages to get a divorce. Depending on the state, it could take 6 weeks to 6 months to a year, maybe 2 tops.

if too late for not being a factor atleast not pulling or pushing.

i've been married. i didn't wanna marry in the first place but was too young and the pressure from around made me give up. at age of 20 i was walking that aisle thinking "i can take this, i've lived already". so i married a man i didn't love. we were married for 6 years and it was not a happy trip. did i stray -no. did he stray -yes. did i care -no.
still, it was not easy to leave and it took me time to really make up the decision. therefor i understand these things take their time, if there has been love at some point -even more for hope seems to die last even on hopeless. in my marriage it was hope of learning to love, or atleast tolerating each other, working it out, living like we are expected to. what a waste.

**I married very young the first time I married. After I had our child, I knew he and I wouldn't make it until we were 80 (an inside joke he and I had). I don't understand getting married from 'pressure'. I personally would never allow someone else to pressure me to make such a huge decision.

in general i'm anti marriage person. it's the forever promises that should not be given. we don't know what will come. and people change. we should be able to move and react to changing situations without the load of those promises and the pressure from around when things go ****s. i think all we can really promise is "for now"

there are moments i think i'm the craziest woman on earth, wish i could go back in time and not do this. yet i know, and writing and talking gives this knowledge even more strength -i care too much to be his second. i'm better off him if that is all he can offer.

take care everyone

**Anti marriage but not anti-affair? Everyone breaks promises in their life. Even husbands and wives There is no huge negative stigma to people growing away from each other and choosing to divorce. Of course people change. Heck, I am anti-marrying under 30 :laugh: because I think we do the most of our growing and learning in our 20's. We are totally different people at 33 than we were at 23. I am often when people poo poo marriage, but think it is a good thing to have an affair. My H and I promised to love, cherish and be faithful to each other - for as long as possible. He and I are both well aware that sometimes feelings change and sometimes you (general you) can't come back from a really bad broken heart or heck, sometimes you (general you) just realize that this is NOT what you want forever. There is no shame in that. I would much rather divorce 50 times than be a mistress or have an affair. I also think too many people marry for the wrong reasons, such as you admitted to, and also don't do the 'work' to keep the marriage healthy. Just because you love someone doesn't mean it will always go easy and smooth and won't have bumps along the way. All relationships take work - ALL of them. You get out of it what you put into it. Sometimes you get a broken heart, sometimes you heart feel as if it is going to break from all the love you have it I would much rather be loved and love back than to flit from man to man hoping to find it. I want the stability of the person I love at my side, and to know he will be there for me at 2 pm or 2 am should I need him.

Good luck and I hope you can work towards a happy life - with a single guy

July 30, 2011

Few months ago i met this man over hobby we share. I thought he was a hottie coming on to me. I backed off for some good time till i thought, then why not take a ride with him, nothing more. But soon learned this man being more than a ride. I told him, for him being everything and more i could dream of a man i would have to leave as soon as i started falling in too deep. For i choose not to take the pain and humiliation of being the OW, the second.

Yesterday i told him it was time. But i made a mistake. We had planned a vacation together and we decided to keep it up untill then and after that split.
He called me after that talk, and again tonight. Suddenly i feel all this talk being just frustrating and i don't wanna hear from him anymore. I promised him the vacation but now i just don't wanna have anything to do with him. It pisses me off that i had to be such an ass and promise him that. And it pisses me off that i have to be so darn serious about promises.

He says he told his wife he's leaving, he's talks about us and future. I've been around the block more than once so i know not to build my life on dreams, maybe's and someday's.

Good luck sweetie, i'm not gonna be around watching you doing your choices

I'm sorry to be joining this thread a little late. I haven't been here in a while.

Trust your gut. If it doesn't feel right then end it, but if it does then act accordingly. Only you know what feels right to you.

July 30, 2011

And likewise, having an affair doesn't mean a person is evil.

So true!

Though it means the person having an affair is extremely selfish and puts his/her first above everyone else.

The person may not be "evil", but their behaviour certainly can be evil, especially when a D-day happens and the WS denies, lies, minimizes and gaslights..

All people are selfish, but many deny it.

Sometimes. In my view sometimes it's a coping mechanism or a reaction to [a] trauma. Or many other things. For me different situations are to be viewed differently.

Some people are certainly unfortunate enough to have this experience.

You complain ad nauseum about people not offering support to the newbie OP, and here you are rudely jacking her thread, without a word of support to her.

Frankly, I think you owe her an apology, and I hope you are big enough to give it to her.

I think her presence here is support enough actually. When Gene Simmons shows up at an Aerosmith concert he doesn't have to actually say anything to show support, his presence is enough!

That being said....
OP- you are right to cancel the vacation, no matter how much you adore him. Telling him to contact you only when he is available will help you move on, but please don't sit around hoping that since you've left the door open, that he'll come around.

Be prepared for him to break NC (no contact) just to check in and see how you are doing. Be prepared to break NC yourself in a weak moment.

Remember that you are worth more than what he can offer, and keep telling yourself that whenever you feel like slipping backwards.

Good luck!

Now this rare offer of support from someone who isn't an OP is refreshing:cool:. I like it JT! I hope you do it more often! Where is the cheerleader smiley?

Affairs are because because people can't cope or deal with trauma? That doesn't make sense to me. My brother lost his child; yet he nor his wife had an affair. My best friends mom died, but she didn't go have an affair. I had a miscarriage before my son was born, but I didn't have an affair. I am not understanding how you equate trauma to having an affair.

Perhaps you are just being facetious? I can only surmise that because Silly Girl said 'sometimes...or for many other things', not just one event.

My mother died 6 weeks after my first child was born, I didn't have an A. My H hid money from me for years, I didn't have an A. My H had a couple of EAs, I didn't have an A. My H gambled our retirement away, I didn't have an A. My MM courted me for a year and a half, I didn't have an A. I was hit on throughout my M, I didn't have an A.

FO, all the pieces of my life finally fit together, creating the perfect atmosphere for an A to happen. I don't regret it, it worked out for me. Your life is no better than mine IMHO.

Had you said people who have affairs tend to be selfish and self centered, I would have agreed. So in your situation, the MM you are with had an affair because what trauma occurred? Or what was he unable to cope with? What made him turn to another woman (and it can't be the alleged lack of never having sex with his wife since he was accustomed to that)

All peple are selfish. Love is selfish. Putting your child over any other is selfish. Putting your H over all is selfish. Demanding he stay with you and 'love you' after he's had an A is a very selfish thing to do.

We all do things that suit us, so your selfishness is no better than mine. Period.

Edited July 30, 2011 by White Flower

July 30, 2011

I hadn't seen this until now.

Affairs are because because people can't cope or deal with trauma? That doesn't make sense to me. My brother lost his child; yet he nor his wife had an affair. My best friends mom died, but she didn't go have an affair. I had a miscarriage before my son was born, but I didn't have an affair. I am not understanding how you equate trauma to having an affair.

FO, I got cheated on, beaten up, lied to for two+ years about something which nearly turned my life upside down, had a miscarriage, was clinically disabled, had lots of work stress, study stress, health stress, bereavements, bouts of depression, redundancy, whatever whatever whatever. I didn't have an affair. I did NOT say all trauma makes a person have an affair.

I said sometimes it can be a coping mechanism or a result of trauma. But fine, you don't agree, that's your call. A newbie in the last few days (ashvll girl I think) has made mention of such a scenario and certainly I've seen BSs here mention their husbands difficult times under military conditions or bereavements or depression as being a major factor in the path that led to them turning away from the marriage. Would you think this is lies?

Had you said people who have affairs tend to be selfish and self centered, I would have agreed. So in your situation, the MM you are with had an affair because what trauma occurred? Or what was he unable to cope with? What made him turn to another woman (and it can't be the alleged lack of never having sex with his wife since he was accustomed to that)

I have never claimed there was any trauma. Certainly he found it easier to seek solace elsewhere once his wife insisted on maintaining a close relationship with her MM. It took a long time for him to admit to himself how hurtful the whole incident had been (over a year of her living with her new guy, then turning to my bf for comfort when it didnt work out). I have always been clear that my bf's problem was 100% denial. He lived a VERY sheltered life, from a quiet, church-focused bank manager/housewife parentage, the eldest child he was expected to be the stable calming one, even mediating for his parents and being asked to help with his more rebellious siblings. He did what he believed was 'right' and went through those motions many go through. He and I met as he was embarking on a long journey trying to figure out what one can expect from life. He'd confided in his parents as to his deep unhappiness, but no one else because he was too embarrassed and maybe ashamed that he'd allowed a not-good situation to turn in to a very bad one. He felt, some days, he had no right to want more from life and must just continue to exist in his role with a job and a relationship that did not leave him feeling fulfilled, but were at least stable and reliable. He hand on heart felt that was 'his lot' for the next forty years. I think you'd agree with me that no one need suffer in that way, that action can and should be taken when one is so miserable (though he claimed to be 'happy' because they never rowed or confronted problems so he had it 'easy'). He was struggling with things but coming to some conclusions he didn't like. He didn't like them because they required huge effort and courage and it's hard to make that leap after do long. I think his affair with me was a wonderful distraction for him as I'm sure his wife's affair was. I apologise for repeating info from elsewhere.

**Anti marriage but not anti-affair? Everyone breaks promises in their life. Even husbands and wives There is no huge negative stigma to people growing away from each other and choosing to divorce. Of course people change. Heck, I am anti-marrying under 30 :laugh: because I think we do the most of our growing and learning in our 20's. We are totally different people at 33 than we were at 23. I am often when people poo poo marriage, but think it is a good thing to have an affair. My H and I promised to love, cherish and be faithful to each other - for as long as possible. He and I are both well aware that sometimes feelings change and sometimes you (general you) can't come back from a really bad broken heart or heck, sometimes you (general you) just realize that this is NOT what you want forever. There is no shame in that. I would much rather divorce 50 times than be a mistress or have an affair. I also think too many people marry for the wrong reasons, such as you admitted to, and also don't do the 'work' to keep the marriage healthy. Just because you love someone doesn't mean it will always go easy and smooth and won't have bumps along the way. All relationships take work - ALL of them. You get out of it what you put into it. Sometimes you get a broken heart, sometimes you heart feel as if it is going to break from all the love you have it I would much rather be loved and love back than to flit from man to man hoping to find it. I want the stability of the person I love at my side, and to know he will be there for me at 2 pm or 2 am should I need him.

Good luck and I hope you can work towards a happy life - with a single guy

August 1, 2011

Thank you White Flower

Yesterday he broke NC. Saying they are doing it now, quitting. He sounded like emotional mess and said there's no one else to talk to.

I just felt so sad hearing his voice. I don't think i'm gonna answer his calls anymore. I can't let him pull me back and make me start this trip of letting go all over again.

August 2, 2011

I think her presence here is support enough actually. When Gene Simmons shows up at an Aerosmith concert he doesn't have to actually say anything to show support, his presence is enough!

Are you making a joke here? Why would you compare two old has-beens

to your friend? Are you saying that a person can just show up here, make several off-topic posts, and that's support? That may fly on other forums, but here it's flat out rude and still a violation of Community Guidelines.

I just felt so sad hearing his voice. I don't think i'm gonna answer his calls anymore. I can't let him pull me back and make me start this trip of letting go all over again.

His happiness is not your responsibility. Block his calls so you won't be bothered by them again. Trust me, if he miraculously gains his freedom and just can't live without you, he'll know how to find you.

August 2, 2011

Are you making a joke here? Why would you compare two old has-beens to your friend? Are you saying that a person can just show up here, make several off-topic posts, and that's support? That may fly on other forums, but here it's flat out rude and still a violation of Community Guidelines.

Two Old has beens! What!? That's an awful thing to say about two rock icons!

Sorry for the thread jack!

Tirai,

Hang in there with the NC if this is what you believe is best for you. I am currently and have been in NC for quite a while. It's hard as heck! So I understand what you must be feeling. Peace.

August 2, 2011

His happiness is not your responsibility. Block his calls so you won't be bothered by them again. Trust me, if he miraculously gains his freedom and just can't live without you, he'll know how to find you.

ty for this

and pt & skywriter

I will. I wont let me hurt me

August 4, 2011

Thank you Pollyanna's Twin so much and *hugs* to you too

Today i've been going back and forth with my emotions. Some good moments of calmness, sorrow, anger and some moments of joy too. Was training today, nice people, jokes and laughs and got a big smile from one cutie.

I have been thinking about how meeting and being with him changed me on the spot. I have been emotionally unavailable for long and with him it was all on the table right away. This is strange, awakening and ..great! Even it hurts right now

Maybe i needed him to see how i have become and how different everything can be if i just dare to be vulnerable.

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Good luck sweetie

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