PDPullmn612 Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 Hey guys, So I met this girl about a month ago on my afternoon commute. I spoke to her for a few days and then finally got her number. Shortly after I found out she has a boyfriend. However, I found out that her relationship is on the complete fritz. Even thought she has a boyfriend, it sometimes seems that she's interested in me. I know her having a boyfriend would generally mean its nothing, but considering her relationship is on a downward spiral maybe it can mean more? Here are some of the things I've noticed: 1. We talk a decent amount. Its always light and playful...never anything too serious. Who initiates the conversation varies. Sometimes its her and sometimes its me. A few times she's texted me at 7:30am, she texted me when I was on vacation to see if i was having fun, etc. 2. We touch a good amount. Again sometimes its her and sometimes its me. She'll touch my arm while we talk. She'll lightly slap my arm. One time she grabbed my hand to hold it while we were walking through a bar. Another time she sat right next (she was basically on top of me) to me in the back seat of a car when she had all the room in the world to move to the opposite side. Apart from that, she doesn't care if I touch her arms, legs, neck, put my arm around her shoulder or back, etc. 3. She maintains solid eye contact. Sometimes for a good 10 or more seconds. She'll look and listen as if she's interested in what I have to say. 4. She laughs a lot around me, even though I know for a fact some of my jokes aren't THAT funny. 5. Countless times we'll be talking and she'll start to play with/pull back her hair or mess with her necklace. I know this could ultimately mean nothing, but some say its an indicator of interest. 6. She calls me nicknames in a playful way. Anyway, just trying to figure out if she's jerking me around or is she actually becoming interested in me. Normally I'd think nothing of this because she has a boyfriend. But I know some women don't like to jump ship until they've found someone else. What do you guys think? Possibly considering me, or jerking me around? Thanks for the input!
Chocolat Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 I think it doesn't matter if she is interested in you until/unless she finalises her situation with her bf. YMMV.
Author PDPullmn612 Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 I think it doesn't matter if she is interested in you until/unless she finalises her situation with her bf. YMMV. Definitely. I wouldn't want anything with her until that got squared away...if that even happens at all. Whats YMMV? Sorry if I should know that, but I don't...
Eddie Edirol Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 Ask her out for coffee. If she isnt interested she'll say no.
Author PDPullmn612 Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 Ask her out for coffee. If she isnt interested she'll say no. I was thinking about doing something like that. She's come out with me 3 times already, but always in a group with my friends. I should definitely see if I can get something one on one with her.
sigurpol Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 I was thinking about doing something like that. She's come out with me 3 times already, but always in a group with my friends. I should definitely see if I can get something one on one with her. Do it. See what happens.
sm1tten Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 Whats YMMV? Sorry if I should know that, but I don't... Your Mileage May Vary. Essentially means that it's just an opinion and it may not be relevant or accurate to your situation. Could be either/or, frankly. She may just like the attention, or she may be developing feelings for you.
rafallus Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 2. We touch a good amount. Again sometimes its her and sometimes its me. She'll touch my arm while we talk. She'll lightly slap my arm. One time she grabbed my hand to hold it while we were walking through a bar. Another time she sat right next (she was basically on top of me) to me in the back seat of a car when she had all the room in the world to move to the opposite side. Apart from that, she doesn't care if I touch her arms, legs, neck, put my arm around her shoulder or back, etc. Push further with some kissing and you will find out. Not necessarily go for the lips at once, try, what she's comfortable with.
Author PDPullmn612 Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 Push further with some kissing and you will find out. Not necessarily go for the lips at once, try, what she's comfortable with. I've thought about it, but I've also thought that it would be crossing that line. Plus, I fear the rejection, but I guess then I'd know... I just hope I don't get stuck in that dreaded friends zone. I've been there (as I'm sure most have) and it sucks.
joeLove Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Do you like her? If so, go for it, regardless of "boyfriend" or not. Based on what you describe, she definitely is interested in getting to learn more about you. I think you are using the "boyfriend" as an excuse ... Man up and talk to her seriously ... she will be yours ... Be nice and gentle, but be decisive. Good luck
rafallus Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I've thought about it, but I've also thought that it would be crossing that line. Plus, I fear the rejection, but I guess then I'd know... I just hope I don't get stuck in that dreaded friends zone. I've been there (as I'm sure most have) and it sucks. Of course it would be crossing, isn't that the very point to find out if she's interested or just in for attention?
Author PDPullmn612 Posted July 21, 2011 Author Posted July 21, 2011 (edited) Do you like her? If so, go for it, regardless of "boyfriend" or not. Based on what you describe, she definitely is interested in getting to learn more about you. I think you are using the "boyfriend" as an excuse ... Man up and talk to her seriously ... she will be yours ... Be nice and gentle, but be decisive. Good luck What exactly do you mean by talk to her seriously? Edited July 21, 2011 by PDPullmn612
Author PDPullmn612 Posted July 21, 2011 Author Posted July 21, 2011 Do you like her? I wouldn't say I LIKE her just yet. But, I'm certainly EXTREMELY interested.
girlgirlgirl Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Being a girl, I can tell you with a good amount of confidence that she is interested to some degree, because physical contact is a bridge that takes a while for most girls to cross, and if she is cool being that close with you and doesn't scoot away or whatever, she is interested.
Author PDPullmn612 Posted July 21, 2011 Author Posted July 21, 2011 She is a cheater. All cheaters say they have a bad relationship at home to start an affair. Stay away. She could have a crazoid BF with a shot gun. Could be the case...except of course her relationship could actually be on the fritz.
joeLove Posted July 23, 2011 Posted July 23, 2011 What exactly do you mean by talk to her seriously? Here is what you wrote: We talk a decent amount. Its always light and playful...never anything too serious. Which seems to indicate to me that, you haven't had a serious conversation yet ... You just been fooling around and have avoided the real topic... If you don't get serious, she will just walk away before you know it... As a guy, you are expected to make the move, you are expected to lead. If you don't, she will think that you are either unsure, or you don't know what you want ...or she will simply lose interest.
Author PDPullmn612 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Posted July 27, 2011 (edited) If you don't get serious, she will just walk away before you know it... As a guy, you are expected to make the move, you are expected to lead. If you don't, she will think that you are either unsure, or you don't know what you want ...or she will simply lose interest. Ok, makes sense. But...what exactly am I talking to her about? We've had "serious" conversation that weren't all playful. More about family and what not. But, I haven't had a conversation with her about dating or anything along those lines Sorry, I'm confused... Edited July 27, 2011 by PDPullmn612
Recommended Posts