hooks76 Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 my gf DUMPED ME a month n a half ago. That month I had even paid her rent, when she dumped ME cause her ex was moving bk into town. She moved him into her apartment n she kicked me out. Despite that I had paid that months rent. She even apologized for hurting Me. I was always there for her, did homework with her kids, fixed her car, gassed it up etc. Her ex was moving bk into town after a year n she was goin to get Back with him. She told me they hadn't really broke up in bad terms as it was just coz he moved. I asked her why would a man move away to be with his kids 4 hrs away, n the following yr, without a job move back to our city to live with her as he looked for a job. Does anyone see something strange or is it just me?????????????????????????????? Anyway she text me yesterday and asked me about some bill I had etc. I asked if she was okay n sge said yes but was very stressed from her life. So I'm wondering, its only a month n a half ago that u kicked me out, so u can be with him, why would u be stressed. She has a job, her kids, her car her man, what would she be stressed about.??? So I told her she cud tell me n talk to me about watever it was n she thanked Me. I'm not going bk to her, I'm talkn to a wonderful girl now. But despite how my ex hurt me I'm going to be there foor her as a shoulder to lean on. As in if she needs to talk ill listen. Why do u think she is stressed now barely a month n a half later??????????
PegNosePete Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 Who cares? Why do you want to accept this kind of treatment from her? Why do you want to accept a demotion from BF to friend? Why do you want ot be her shoulder to cry on when she has treated you like sh*t?
Author hooks76 Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 no not a doormat. And I'm not going back to her. First realize that we r not all the same. Everyone's different. I don't hold grudges for long. I'm not even offering myself as a 24 hr 7 days a week shoulder. No. But if I saw her with a flat tire I'd stop n assist. I don't go lookn for her. I don't text her. I'm over her. I'm not foolish that I'd go running back into her arms. No. But at the same time I believe revenge is Gods. Leave it to Him. My thing is I'm thinking its grass isn't greener is what she releasied. I just want to hear what peoples views maybe or thoughts. Thank you.
PegNosePete Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 I'm going to be there foor her as a shoulder to lean on. As in if she needs to talk ill listen This my friend, is being a doormat. You can forgive her actions without remaining friends with her or being there for her. You need to go no contact if you want to heal and feel better. Trying to "be there for her" will just lead to pain for you.
thelovingkind Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 Something doesn't add up. You claim to be disinterested and disconnected, talking to a wonderful new girl, moving swiftly on with things and having no thoughts of getting back together with her, and yet you're here on this forum typing a post wrought with anxiety and torment about trying desperately to work out what's going on in her head. You don't need to hold a grudge nor do you need to take revenge, just let everything go. It's a non-action. Don't help her; she doesn't need your help, she left you for an ex. If everything is as swell as you make out, this won't be an issue, and you will no longer need to torment yourself with these questions.
Ajax Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 Why do you want to be your ex's doormat? no not a doormat. This my friend, is being a doormat. Doormat. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off.
SwampDonkey Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 You can dress it up however you want but you're being a doormat. I'm not criticizing, I've been one myself and have no idea why. Do yourself a favour, write yourself a letter telling yourself why you are being there for her. Then send it to yourself and read it back, like you are getting it from someone else. Sounds weird but it works, you'll realise you're doing it because you still want her. She holds the power and you hold none.
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