lillypolo Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 HE broke up with me. claiming he no longer loved me Broke MY heart. we have to see one another everyday at uni, yet he's the one who can't be friends with me; he ignores me, refuses to talk to me, acts jumpy and awkward when I'm around, pretends to be bored when I say hey to him and runs away... yet stares at me a lot so I think he WANST to talk to me... then he blows me off when I do! Its been a year since the break up now - what's going on- I'm so sick of it now! we used to be great friends before the relationship - he said he hoped ending the relationship would make it easier to go back to that yet THIS is how he's acting. Especially since I got a new boyfriend :\ What is going on here? thanks x Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 how does your boyfriend feel about this? Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 Sounds like he is coping and is hurting as well. He's probably got a lot of conflicted emotions so just give him time and if it works out that the two of you can be friends then it works out that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Kilty Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 Easy answer to this. The reason he behaves this way is because - You have got a new boyfriend Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 some people have a hard time moving on after a break up. and we all heal at a different pace. even though it's been a year after the break up he may still be hurting. so that's why being friends with you may not be easy for him. - - especially as Kilty mentioned above - -that you have a boyfriend. did you dump him or did he dump you or was it a mutual break up? the reason i ask is because people who were dumped by someone the love don't always do well with being friends with the person who dumped them. generally speaking it's never a good idea to be friends with an ex because there will always be lingering feelings on one side or the other. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 You dont NEED to be friends with him. You have a boyfriend, focus on HIM. When you cut your ex out of the picture, all will be well. Link to post Share on other sites
just_scott Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 maybe he does hate you least now since u moved on and found someone else while he hasn't don't even think about him no more consintrate on ur new guy Link to post Share on other sites
Author lillypolo Posted July 20, 2011 Author Share Posted July 20, 2011 some people have a hard time moving on after a break up. and we all heal at a different pace. even though it's been a year after the break up he may still be hurting. so that's why being friends with you may not be easy for him. - - especially as Kilty mentioned above - -that you have a boyfriend. did you dump him or did he dump you or was it a mutual break up? the reason i ask is because people who were dumped by someone the love don't always do well with being friends with the person who dumped them. generally speaking it's never a good idea to be friends with an ex because there will always be lingering feelings on one side or the other. he dumped me- which is why I'm so confused as to why he behaves like this, i think i can handle being just friends now - yet hes just being so wierd about it all. he was acting wierd BEFORE i got a bf, it just got worse since.... any words of advice/ views? thnaks to all for their opinions and comments - feel free to add anything to anyone reading this - all comments welcome x Link to post Share on other sites
Author lillypolo Posted July 20, 2011 Author Share Posted July 20, 2011 You dont NEED to be friends with him. You have a boyfriend, focus on HIM. When you cut your ex out of the picture, all will be well. thanks- i try but we are in same uni same course- we're all together ALL the time - so i cant really do that unfortunately - not for a fe years yet! hence why i need help and insight into the situation to try and help us all live happily together ! Link to post Share on other sites
Kilty Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 thanks- i try but we are in same uni same course- we're all together ALL the time - so i cant really do that unfortunately - not for a fe years yet! hence why i need help and insight into the situation to try and help us all live happily together ! Unfortunately there is not really much insight required. It is all about human emotions You felt a certain way about someone but now the relationship is over Staying friends with that person after the break up is nigh on impossible as to do so opens up the break up wounds and the memories of someone you loved but cannot be with anymore for whatever reason. Usually one half of the relationship wants to be friends because they have moved on and disconnected emotionally from that other person - in this case you because you were given no choice. Unfortunately when the other half has not moved on or emotionally disconnected remaining friends is not on as it just brings a world of pain - in this case your ex. Usually this person is the dumpee but it is not uncommon for it to be the other way round as in your situation. It is possible that your ex has dumpers regret or as radiodarcy said it is his way of moving on and trying to disconnect completely from you. When you have been in a relationship for a certain amount of time most people find it difficult just to switch off their feelings for that person in one blow. People who jump from one relationship to another quickly use that as their switch off and this is what is called rebound - they use someone else to hide their feelings and emotions of the person they have broke up with. Some people say that in these cases however after a certain amount of time passes with the rebound these feelings dont stay submerged forever - personally i think that only happens in a small amount of cases. What has probably happened is that your boyfriend has dumped you. You have fairly quickly moved on with your life and have found someone else. This will be annoying him as he hasnt completely moved on yet. Maybe he was hoping that there would have been some sort of reconcilation down the line and you would have been sitting waiting on his call. Maybe he thought he has a hold on you and you would be so upset over losing him you wouldnt date anyone else again ever His ego may be bruised Who knows - you cant put your life on hold You just need to keep your distance and be civil when required You may become friends sometime in the future but at the moment its your ex's issue and not yours Link to post Share on other sites
LeeannLynnGrant Posted July 20, 2011 Share Posted July 20, 2011 HE broke up with me. claiming he no longer loved me Broke MY heart. we have to see one another everyday at uni, yet he's the one who can't be friends with me; he ignores me, refuses to talk to me, acts jumpy and awkward when I'm around, pretends to be bored when I say hey to him and runs away... yet stares at me a lot so I think he WANST to talk to me... then he blows me off when I do! Its been a year since the break up now - what's going on- I'm so sick of it now! we used to be great friends before the relationship - he said he hoped ending the relationship would make it easier to go back to that yet THIS is how he's acting. Especially since I got a new boyfriend :\ What is going on here? thanks x Move on, your too good for that. If he doesn't want too be with you, than he doesn't deserve too be. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 still wondering how your boyfriend feels about the whole thing? Link to post Share on other sites
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