notfunny Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 (edited) Ok guys here is my story.. we met at high school and have been together near 2 years, i was always the "cool" guy and i really never thought i can think anything more then "a girl is just nice", and I had never been in a "relationship" (i was with diff. girls but they knew that i wont go in a relationship with them since i never really felt anything, so i was with them but never in a "relationship" they knew and i knew i am still single.. hope u get it guys) she was really in to studying and school, well one day we sow each other, she was then in a 5 month relationship i was single, when i sow her first time i felt it .. "the butterflies" i was really surprise what i felt and i wasnt sure should i start flirting since she was in relationship, anyways i started and we both "felt it".. i told her that i really like her day later..she told me the same..and she told me she need time (10 days) to brake up with her bf, i got pissed a bit there and told her fine, but u wont hear from me twice ^^(still wanted to be "cool" since i had reputation and i was just moron and i really didnt know if she was a bitch since most of the girls i was "with" were bitchs and i knew they were i didnt care ^^) anyways after 10 days i got a txt msg saying that she broke up and that she is happy with beeing friends if thats all i can give her now.. i called her we started dating 2 days later..i was so badly in love really badly..and i was sure she loves me but I was on alert since she broke up 5 month relationship and i thought maybe she is that type of girl... after 4 month i started to show my love to her since i sow that she really loves me.. and it was so ****ing perfect months were just flying..every human sow how much we loved each other even our familys were sure this is "the real thing"..we were both proud on our love..and people did not believe that we can love each other that much.. it was almost perfect story..i changed badly i wasnt drinking anymore, wasnt going out to partys, started to study heard, lost 70% of my friends, we went to same college, and i didnt want or had time to go out(studying + gf=no time)..I become a "good" kind of guy always bring her something(roses, cookies) i would always surprise her with small things.. always say "love you baby forever"..she did the same..always telling me how lucky she is for having me..anyways she had always a need to control me and always checking me but i notice that when i started to let her do it more and more..(the control part started when i started to gave her all that love i felt..after 4th month) since i thought that she is just in fear of someone else getting me(i knew that would never happen)<--i am moron for letting her control me and saying sry for the things i really didnt do or i wasnt just guilty for them.. and then 3 months ago..she started to treat me badly..and always insulting because this 1 girl.. i was FRIEND with.. we had 2 lil fights about that, she didnt want to see me 2 weeks i felt something is going wrong and i told that girl i wont be friends with her anymore and wont talk to her, ofc she that girl was pissed since we were good friends..but i didnt care i loved "my baby"..i thought everything will be fine now but nothing we went out once and other day again she started a fight with me and again no contact 2 weeks from her..then i said if u dont want to make up lets just break up forever..she was mad again and telling me she cant believe i would sad that i was begging and crying again telling her i didnt mean to say it just wanted to go back to normal..<--(were is that cool guy that i was 2 years ago)..few days later she called me to meet me and told me that she cant be with me, and that she will always love me.. i was destroyed..and that happend in exam week..(that was not cool leaving me 7 days before exams) i passed 1 out of 6 exams..(most of the time i pass 6/6) i went in no nc for a month...started to go to gym..heard she was talking with her ex(that guy she was with for 5 months) was a bit pissed since she told me she never talked with him after we hooked up..heard also she was a mess same as me.. (i knew that girls tend to start talking with al lot of guys after break ups just to **** the guys mind.. but talking with 2 years ago ex. is a low hit) and i sow she started to flirt with other guys a bit..nothing special. after that I deleted all pictures, her fb and everything..after 1 month.. i sow on her page that she is listening only to heart breaking, i am in pain songs for example: Adele-Someone like you.. and my buddy told me that on msn.. she have "remember me please.." on her personal..because of that i broke my own NC rule after a month and send her.. Me:how are you? ... She: i am ok you..i thought you hate me.. Me: I dont, I am fine, hows life? Her: Its ok...i am living..when are u going on vacation? Me: soon..u? Her: I wont go..I hope u will find someone special there..take care.. Me:Hope u fine someone to..take care.. i feel really sad for breaking nc..but having hard time to let it go since i NEVER ever felt what i felt for her.. hope u can help me i am really in bad condition..i am in such pain..i miss her badly..every ****ing day..worst part is that i have 2 months to atleast try to get myself together since i cant imagine pain in going to the same college again..and trying to act cool(college starts in 2 months again)..and yet my buddy told me she still have.. my heart is not same without you.. personal on msn..why did she do this to me..after all that i gave her? I mean i was realy the best guy a girl could have cuz i realy believe that we will be forever..and she just destroyed me..killed my soul.. i know i have a whole life to live ahead of me..and i am still atractive.. but she was.. she was pure perfection in my eyes..i tried to be strong but i cant that month of nc was the worst month in my life..and now when i broke no nc i feel ever worst..its hard..we were so strong for so long..and i still hate her for doing this to me..but i still love her... Edited July 20, 2011 by notfunny
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