posting about my ex until my fingers fall off... take V (i think)

[yes]

i'm so glad i can type it out here, i don't wanna hold it in myself, i don't have time or wish to be upset over this.

 

i was just talking to a friend, who doesn't know that (ex's name) is my ex, and something was said about "(ex's name) and his gf". i kept on talking OK, but when i heard that, my mind went blank for a second so now i know that tonight he's out w/ some girl... which is fine by me, but still, you know... *sigh*

 

i'm not crying or shaking or anything - i'm allright, just a lil sad. it makes me sad to think he played such a big role in my life, and i played such a small one in his.

 

by the way, do you think i should mention it to my friend that he's "the ex", and ask not to mention him to me, and to warn me if he's going to be around, esp. w/ a gf? or should i just drop giving him special status?

 

thanks for reading,

-yes

[Kat]

If talking about it upsets you then yes, you should make note that you want them not to talk about him.

[meanon]

I read your other threads about your ex - it didn't sound like he thought you played such a small part in his life. It sounded as though he wanted to stay friends and that you were important to him.

 

I guess this is sad mainly because any secret hopes for a reconciliation are out. It's OK to be upset about this final ending. Maybe now you can get over him. I'd drop the special status, avoid them if you can but don't go out of your way to do so or ask others to do so. The sooner you stop focusing all your attention on him, the sooner you will start finding other people interesting.

[moimeme]

Ah, yes. That punch-in-the-gut you get when you realize you've been replaced, even when you wanted out in the first place. It'll pass, for sure. Think of it as something to help you shut the door on this relationship for good. Now you can move on!

[yes]

this is not the first time that i hear about him having a gf - he has had at least three after me, none last more than several months, so hearing about it isn't finalizing in any new way...

 

i think you're right, meanon, i'll simply drop the special status, unless it gets too irritating, then i'll mention it to my friend, who is very considerate.

 

i feel like i am largely over him - i'm sad, but not devastated, and it's more of a sadness about the past than a wish that I was dating him. perhaps thanks to the antidepressants, i don't know (but i did notice that my thoughts about him escalate at a crazy speed when i'm stressed/anxious/etc!).

 

-yes

[Thinkalot]

I can understand that sadness. It's normal...but the others are right, don't focus on him too much anymore. Move on and up!

 

I recall when I saw in one of our Sunday newspapers...a huge colour photo of my ex and his new bride...they were featured as 'wedding of the week"!

 

I had no desire to be back with him at all...but I still did feel a bit funny when I saw that article. Not really even sadness...it was just, well odd.... You probably have a mix of feeelings about this...they'll pass. Just don't feed them too much.

 

Glad you are finding anti-depressants helpful.

[yes]

all night, i dreamt of myself feeling like total crap (presumably b/c of his absence) and contemplating contacting him (the ex)

 

you're right that some sadness is normal; i'm sure it'll get easier and easier with time. i don't have time for it right now, anyway - perhaps that's why it came out in my dreams instead of upsetting me too much in the waking time.

 

-yes