livy07 Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 My LDR boyfriend of 5 months finally broke up with me 3 weeks ago. Everything was fine up until about 2 weeks before we split. It was like someone flipped a switch. He suddenly stopped being romantic, stopped e-mailing or texting me, and only called out of obligation. I was devastated because I have seen this happen before. Despite all of this, when I asked if anything was wrong, he reassured me that everything was fine and that he "didn't even realize he'd been acting differently." Then one day, bam, it was over. He came up with a few crazy excuses but I am not dumb. I know he was either interested in someone else or was already starting up something with someone else during that 2-week period. Anyway, after 3 weeks of being strictly NC, I broke down and texted him tonight. Then I called him. Horrible, I know. (I must admit, I had a few beers leading up to these mistakes.) I am visiting his city this week on a work assignment, and we had planned to spend time together while I was here. It's just so hard and I miss him so much. The good news is that he neither answered my call nor responded to my text. So now I can go back to being strong and forgetting about him. Thanks for reading I love this forum. It has helped me so much.
Author livy07 Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 (edited) For anyone needing some perspective on how to handle your heartache, gracefully... please learn from my mistakes! In not one but TWO previous breakups, I was the lame girl that felt like my world was over. I would cry, beg and plead to be given another chance. The first problem with this is that it's extremely unattractive. The more important problem is, if you never did anything wrong to start with, why ask for a second chance?? They left because of THEMSELVES, not because of YOU. If you treat someone well and are always open to communication and working through problems together, there's nothing more you can do. Therefore, you cannot blame yourself for the failure of the relationship, and you certainly cannot expect them to come back to you. He or she simply wasn't the right person for you, for whatever reason. Edited July 20, 2011 by livy07
wilsonx Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 livy, you have one of my favorite posts on this forum. Its ok. I almost want to contact my ex but in the end its a destructive decision. Nothing positive will come out of it for me because shes latched on to someone else emotionally. I do not know how people do LDRs. I tried it when I was 19 and I hated it. The girl I thought I was in love with after a year and a half just disappeared one day. She contacted me 5 years later and said hey whats up, yea I moved to Montana, with this guy, got married had a kid and was now divorced. I was pretty indifferent but a little annoyed that she actually called me 5 years later to check up on me but could not say good bye or anything
Author livy07 Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 You are right wilsonx. Absolutely no sense in contacting someone that walked out. It brings nothing but pain. And yes, LDRs are incredibly hard. I have had several and I had promised myself I wouldn't do it again. Then this most recent guy came along and convinced me we should give it a shot. Oh, did I mention we sorta work together? What was I thinking?? Five years later is pretty ridiculous. At least she waited until you were definitely over it.
Author livy07 Posted January 2, 2013 Author Posted January 2, 2013 Just an update on this... The guy who dumped me out of the blue and basically never spoke to me again went straight back to his ex (who he hadn't dated in over a year, but who is the mother of his child). They got married about 2 months ago. I think the universe has a way of working itself out I am not bitter, because I think the child deserves to have both his parents around. It was a situation where the father had to work 1.5 hours away from his son, and rarely got to see him because of his work obligations. He only got to be with his son every other weekend. Now, he can wake up and see his son every single day. This makes me happy He was a really sweet kid and I like to think that he is happier with both of his parents around.
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