superchiefs Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 So my fiance broke up with me 3 months ago because she wanted to find herself. Since that time, she has been hanging out with other people, but when she hasnt been hanging out with other people, she has been sitting in her bedroom crying and seeing therapists that have been prescribing her all sorts of antidepressants. I have cut off contact with her several times, going as long as 3 weeks with no contact. Several weeks ago, I met someone and have started dating them. However, my ex has now contacted me, telling me what bad shape she is in emotionally and that she sees how I have changed and she doesnt understand why she wasnt good enough for me to have made those changes while she was with me. She doesnt understand why it took her ending things with me to get me to make the changes that she wanted me to make. She said she is also sick of feeling like the bad guy, that just because she ended things with me, that it doesnt mean that she isnt going through a lot of emotional pain. What is wrong with this girl? Is she just selfish? Or should I just accept that she is crazy? I currently have no plans to get back with my ex because I want to see where my relationship with this new girl leads. But I also dont want to close the door on my ex's return in case the relationship with the new girl ends. What should I do?
geegirl Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 Typical. It's all your fault. Your fault that I am a ****ty person. Your fault you couldn't be what I wanted you to be. Your fault for making me feel emotionally bad. All your fault. Mind games. So now that she has planted the seed. You're going to sit there and take blame and feel bad for it. Then in turn want to make it better by trying to make her feel better. Which may result in you wanting her back. Therefore will boost her ego again and she'll have you in the palm of her hand. Then here you come again posting about how bad she is treating you. She's done part of the job so far...you are questioning and you are even thinking of keeping things good with her so you can fallback. She's doing a great! You are really considering keeping her in the backburner if this current girl doesn't work out??? You just asked if she is selfish or just crazy?! That's your backup plan and even if you didn't have one, if would be much wiser for you to be alone than to be with this one. Please don't settle. Settling is for cowards. You've just moved on to someone else and that shows you loud and clear that doors will always be opening, opportunities will come knocking and you will always be progressing. Don't go backwards.
Author superchiefs Posted July 19, 2011 Author Posted July 19, 2011 Thanks Geegirl for setting me straight! I knew I could count on you to give me a good response.
radiodarcy Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 wow. how selfish can a person get? she made the decision to dump you - - pulls you in her life when it's convenient to her after the fact, and then she has the nerve to complain when you finally move on? you've been doing so well so far, don't cave into her childish games. continue with NC and to pursue the relationship with this other woman. you deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else. and your ex doesn't have the right to make you feel guilty for doing so. nor does she deserve to reap the benefits of the positive changes you have made in your life since she dumped you.
Chi townD Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 There it is again! The most stupid excuse in the world! "I need to find myself." What you should have done was stand her in front of a mirror and say, " Look, there you are!" Okay, sounds like she got cold feet and got the case of the GIGS. Not your fault, you didn't ask to end things with you. And how does she know that you're doing well? She been keeping tabs on you? Oh, and by the way, don't do it! Don't string her along to see if this current relationship works out or not. And by you even proposing that question kinda tells me that perphaps you shouldn't be in a relationship at all right now.
geegirl Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 Agree with Chi Town and forgot to add the same. Don't string this girl if you are still hung up on your ex. You should be 100% focusing and investing in someone versus half here/half there investment. It's not fair to this other girl. That's why it's always best to be emotionally available and ready, completely detached from another before you pull someone else into your life.
Author superchiefs Posted July 19, 2011 Author Posted July 19, 2011 Agree with Chi Town and forgot to add the same. Don't string this girl if you are still hung up on your ex. You should be 100% focusing and investing in someone versus half here/half there investment. It's not fair to this other girl. That's why it's always best to be emotionally available and ready, completely detached from another before you pull someone else into your life. I dont think I am hung up on my ex. I have just read a lot of books about relationships, and I realize that everything is going really well with this new girl right now because we are in the honeymoon period and getting to know each other. Once that period ends, the relationship could very well end too. I have gone through these honeymoon periods many times before in my younger years.
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