lolo1234 Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 I really really need help here. I have been dating this guy for a couple of months. Not long at all. We hit it off really well. To start and he asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed. Looking back I think we became exclusive too soon maybe. I feel like I gave up myself a little too soon. But whatever, what's done is done. I usually feel very secure in my relationships especially in the beginning so I think that there is something as to why I feel insecure in this relationship. This guy isn't as communicative as I would like. He has professed to being a loner. I k ow he has few friends. He's not super shy or anything just prefers being alone. He hasn't been in a long term relationship in years. He claims that he never met anyone he really liked but he Has said that he wants to have that with me. Everything that he says points to wanting to us being together. He is taking me away this weekend for my birthday and is already talking about our next trip. (and btw I found a job ao I'm no longer unemployed thank u very much) So what's the problem? We live 30 minutes away from each other and I have kids so it doesn't make seeing him that easy. I see him 1 or 2 x a week. In between that time there is minor texting and short phone conversations. With my last bf we would spend hours on the phone ... With him it's like a chore to talk to me I feel. I don't feel any emotional neediness from him at all. I feel like there should be just a tad of that right? I mean u should feel the need to build an emotional connection with someone. I don't know if I should talk to him about this or just let things be for now. Maybe I am impatient. Idk. I hope someone can relate
Jessica45 Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 Is he affectionate? Hugs, kisses, smiles and touches for no particular reason? I need touch to feel loved. Have you ever heard of the Five Love Languages? Some people show love differently. Here's a test: http://www.afo.net/hftw-lovetest.asp
thatone Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 well, he is what he is. if you're not happy with what you're seeing now it's unlikely that he will be different later. think about it that way.
Nexus One Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 If he says he's a loner, then perhaps he's not at all used to being needy or needs others for emotional support. Loners tend to fix whatever problem there is themselves, so perhaps he's kind of wondering why he's expected to stay on the phone so much? Note that a lot of guys also just dislike talking on the phone.
Author lolo1234 Posted July 19, 2011 Author Posted July 19, 2011 (edited) Yeah I get the sense that he is just not a talker . I am use to my exes that would talk my ear off given the chance. Thinking more about his personality .... He has alot of really good qualities, he has strong values, very loyal, caring. I get lots of physical affection. I should mention that he was in the military for 8 years, in the marines. I really do think that we might be too different for it to work. If I cant see him more often then I need to feel connected in aome other way. I have to say though that I notice when it comes to feeling connected, the best way for me to get that from him is with sex . Edited July 19, 2011 by lolo1234 Prob
Author lolo1234 Posted July 19, 2011 Author Posted July 19, 2011 Thanks Jessica. Yeah that was actually very helpful. So apparently I like being touched and I like quality time. Two things that I don't get enough of with him. I'm curious to see how this long weekend goes with him. We've never spent this much time together before so I'm sure it will reveal a few things. I am going to try to not analyze things too much and instead just focus on having a good time with him.
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