Daisieprincess Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 I was with my ex for almost 7 years... We have always been very close and I have always been his number one priority and vice versa...We broke up for a little while, and started talking again.. Recently I have been staying with him for a few weeks until the place I am moving to is ready.. He tells me he would eventually like to get back with me, and the next minute he says he doesn't want a commitment... He gets jealous if I talk to someone else, even tho it's just as friends.. Recently I found on his FB that he was talking to this married woman and telling her how cute he thinks she is and how he wants her to come meet him. From the emails, it appears that they have slept together before.. He tells her that he wants to pamper and all this bs... This hurt me so much as I couldn't believe not only would he talk to a married woman that way, but I felt so betrayed bc he was just telling me that he would like to eventually get back together... I know that the right thing to do is just walk away from him, but it is just so hard... I don't how I will be able to deal with him not being in my life, bc I have shared so much in my life with him, and have loved him so much.. But I also don't wanna be played like a fool neither.. I can't bring up the fact that I seen this conversation with that woman, bc then he would know I was on his FB.. I don't know what to do or how to get through this.. my heart is breaking..
Tsukahime Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 I'm not trying to be rude by saying this, but he really is stringing you along. It's really hard when the person you love does this type of thing to you, but I think that in the end it would be better if you got over him. Just keep your mind off of him, because you'll find someone much much better. I can imagine how it's hard since you've been together so long but it's important to remember that you shouldn't be treated this way. If he really thought of you as his number one then he would stop at nothing to be with you. The person you love could never be a burden, and people who say that they are afraid of commitment are usually only saying that so that they can keep you by their side if the person they are really going after rejects them. Just keep thinking positive, and try to get over him. Remind yourself that you deserve the best in the world, and he isn't it.
catchthedrift Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 (edited) i believe that your ex is telling the truth when he says he doesn't want to make a commitment. he is obviously afraid of the responsibility that comes with a committed, serious relationship. that doesn't mean that he lost his feelings for you. please do not confront him about the facebook thing. it will make you unattractive and look like a snoop. nobody likes to be controlled. about the fact he is talking to that married woman, if i was you, i wouldn't have this bother me. he is flirting and he is doing it with somebody who will never ask for a commitment like you do - because she is married, she is already committed to somebody else. it seems he is distracting himself from the fact that he has feelings for you, maybe even loves you (after 7 years, of course), but can't see himself being with you because he is scared of what there is to come (marriage, children... trust me, guys are so scared of losing their 'youth' and the chances to experiment and do whatever they want to without a woman holding them back). in the end, i know it hurts right now and you can not see yourself ever being with another man, but i've been there, i've suffered so much, and whatever i am telling you right now is what everybody told me, and back then i didn't listen to any of them (unfortunately). but you will find someone much better, who will love you more than he ever did and who will give you the respect and attention you deserve. don't look back. distract yourself. do something for yourself. treat yourself well. go out with friends. hang out with your girls. try to rebound, but not too much. stay yourself. try to become more aware of what it is that you are looking for in a partner, and try not to think too much about the qualities that once made you fall in love with your ex. after all, he has proven to you that he is not the man you wanted him to be. good luck! Edited July 19, 2011 by catchthedrift
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