mackin80 Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 Became Friends with a girl 6 months ago through mutual friends.We talked and hung out quite a bit and hit it off well. After 3 months I wanted to be more that friends she said no cause she would be moving at the end of the summer. We remained friends and a month later she realized she could not move right away and said she wanted to date. Well then another month later she said she did not want to date anymore. She said no spark, she's not sure what she wants now and is afraid it would work with me (admits to being a committment phobe). We have A LOT in common, think alike and always have a good time together. We both have a lot of crap on our plates right now. Should I remain friends? In case she changes her mind? Assuming I can set aside my feelings for her. To me this is the one I have been looking for.
MoonlightShadow Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 :bunny: i would say maybe stay in contact with her BUT low contact....like, maybe don't talk that much i hope this helps
Rachey Posted July 28, 2011 Posted July 28, 2011 Well, it sounds like you gave it a try and it didn't work out. Sucks, but c'est la vie. Is she still moving? Maybe that's why she doesn't want to pursue things further and just blamed it on the "spark" because otherwise it would be too painful. LDRs are mad work. You'd have to get webcams, do the whole teary "I miss you" thing, and spend endless hours on Facebook Video Chat Rounds, staring into each other's eyes. It doesn't seem worth it to me. Just chalk it up to experience and avoid her if you can. Good luck.
mr.goodguy Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 It sucks when the stars dont line up exactly. The one line that stands out for me... "She said no spark, she's not sure what she wants now and is afraid it would work with me" She is saying three different things here: No spark? really? well the last part of the sentence seems to contradict the spark comment. She's not sure what she wants? she seems young. its an opportunity (or more motivation for yourself) to separate yourself from the general type of guys she hangs with. This is really for YOU in the long run. "Leaders walk alone" Afraid it would work?...sounds like it would be painful if it did work and it turned into a LDR. Its a defense to reject you to save the pain. Moonlightshadow is correct. Limit contact. It'll draw her to you. Make the time you actually spend with her be more about the quality than quantity. All the best
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