Jonny_Wodd Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 The other day a girl (who I used to like and who used to like me- we went on a few dates together, but haven't spoke in months) was at an establishment where I go to get lunch. As I was walking in I noticed she was there and I got super nervous, so I walked out without her seeing me. I went and ate elsewhere. After returning to my office from lunch, I had to go down to another floor. As the elevator door opened there she stood waiting to get on. She definitely saw me, but made an effort to make it look like she did not see. She appeared to be nervous and caught off guard as she cowered into a position around the corner where she could best avoid me noticing her. I basically acted like I didn't see her either. My question is this- Why did this girl avoid me? Obviously, I still like the girl, which is why I left the eating establishment. If I no longer liked her, I would not have worried about being at the same place as her, so it's my thought that if she cowers away from me like she did, that she is not over our relationship. But girls are wired a little differently than guys, maybe she avoided me because she DOESN'T like me? Any women willing to provide some insight? UPDATE: So I heard a few weeks back this girl has had a boyfriend for awhile. She never has mentioned him to me. I also ran into her a couple days ago as we were leaving work and she seemed genuinely happy to see me, although kind of shy until I flashed her a big smile at which that point she really warmed up. We had a brief talk about what we did with our families over the fourth, then when we parted I told her it was nice to see her, and she said the same. Then as I walked away she yelled back "don't be a stranger!" and I turned around and said I would stop by and visit her again one of these days. Is this girl worth pursuing again? Why does she never mention her boyfriend? There isn't even any pictures or mention of any relationships on Facebook.
Eddie Edirol Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 If her first reaction was to avoid you, then thats not good. After that she probably talked to you to be polite. Best bet is to move on from this one. You NEVER want an instant reaction to be avoidance.
Author Jonny_Wodd Posted July 21, 2011 Author Posted July 21, 2011 Perhaps, but I avoided HER when I first saw her at the restaurant and it wasn't because I didn't like her. And the next time I saw her she seemed nervous until I smiled at her, which is when she gave me a really soft and sweet "hey you!".
morethanconfused Posted July 22, 2011 Posted July 22, 2011 If her first reaction was to avoid you, then thats not good. I don’t agree. It doesn’t have to be a bad sign at all. I think she was just a little bit insecure and didn’t know how to react. What was the reason why you two stopped dating and why you haven’t spoke in months? I think that might be important somehow. If I would meet someone again I was interested in and if we would have stopped dating months ago I probably would react the same way she did. Of course I could just say Hi and try to be cool like nothing happened. But if I wouldn’t know for sure why dating a guy went to nowhere I would think that this guy could ignore me when I would start a conversation with him. No one wants to be rejected and everyone is afraid that this could happen to him or her as long as you don’t know for sure how your opposite could react to you actions. What she did might be stupid but I see people doing this all the time just because they don’t know how to do better. The more they are interested in someone the more they pretend not to be just because they are afraid of being rejected. Or why do you think it is so hard for all of us to start first conversation with someone that we don’t know yet or to ask someone out on a date? After that she probably talked to you to be polite. I disagree again. Why did she have to be polite? She could have just pretended again that she didn’t see him. And there was no reason for her to yell back “don’t be a stranger” after he was walking away already. I wouldn’t do that. If I would talk to someone just because I want to be polite I would just say bye or see you. Women are different. They don’t say things like that without knowing the consequences already. I would say: go for it. Don’t ask her out right away because you already dated before and there must be a reason why you both stopped dating. From what I read I assume that you two work at the same place so the chances are pretty high that you’ll bump in to her any time soon. Talk to her a few times casually; see if your conversations will last a bit longer after a while. And if it feels like she is interested in talking to you for more than just a few words then ask her if she would like to have coffee with you after work or maybe lunch at your break.
Recommended Posts