FlyMoon Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 I'm not only ready to move on but I do want to start dating and the R. Went out to parties, talked to new ppl from work, etc.. but the more I do that, the more I feel lonely and pathetic. The people I talked to are simply inferior (no offense) than me in all aspects, I just cant possibly have any feelings whatsoever. And, why am I trying this hard to find someone to fall in love with? Why is there just no one right for me? Moreover all this depressing thoughts and empty feelings lead me to feel like my life in general is just so boring and mundane.. I hate this feeling. Do you guys have any insight as to why I am feeling this way? And possibly how to get out of this and find someone right? (no online or random hook up please - I just cant do that - they're just too immoral for me) Thanks,,,,
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 when you go out try that diner on the corner that you never really wanted to try. Or maybe that corner store that you never went to because you always go to a certain corner store. I think you just need to try new places or just try new things. it's much harder meeting people if you stick to the same environments that you've always been in. Increase in places you go = greater chance of meeting new people = better chance of finding someone you are attracted to
thelovingkind Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 I've had this recently. I don't think it's rebound, and it's not just a case of not being comfortable on your own (although there is a strong element of this to it), I think it's more like opening a new can of energy but with nowhere to direct it. You've spent however many weeks (or months perhaps) in a tenebrous state of utter despair, not wanting to look at another person, not wanting to consider going on a date with someone other than your ex, or perhaps you do go on a date and all you think about is how much you'd rather be in the same place doing the same thing with your ex. And then at some point you realise you are ready to move on and date again in a healthy way, and that you actually want to do that, and this whole barrage of euphoric dating energy, which had been suppressed for some time, suddenly surges up in your life. The problem we soon encounter is that just because the energy and motivation is there, doesn't mean the suitable dates are. We've been so focused on getting to that place where we're ready to find someone new, we forget that once we get there we can't simply...find someone new. All it means is that we're ready to be open to that when it comes along with someone amazing, which could be a while. The conveyor belt of grief doesn't carry you along through the various stages and then mechanically plop you off into a new relationship after you've finally passed through "acceptance". So, the answer? Well it's good to be happy to move on, but you've got to be realistic. You missed your ex terribly because connections like that are relatively hard to come by. So too will the next one. If it weren't, we wouldn't value these relationships. In the mean time, cliche and frustrating as it is, work on yourself. Be more of the person you want to be in the next relationship, be the kind of interesting person you want to meet. It might seem like you'd rather just meet someone now, but if you genuinely do improve your personality and your life in tangible ways, whether it's bigger biceps or resolved trust issues or a better job, you will be glad for doing these things when that spark with someone new finally lights up.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 The conveyor belt of grief doesn't carry you along through the various stages and then mechanically plop you off into a new relationship after you've finally passed through "acceptance". Part of me wishes that is how it should work... other part is thrilled about finding that next person. Guess I like the thrill of the hunt lol.
Exit Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 Don't try so hard to find something new. It's one of those old true cliches, love is something you find right when you aren't looking for it. These are usually the best types of relationships. Sure there are dating websites and stuff you could try, where everyone's intentions are out in the open, they want someone NOW (and how many of these people are probably on there trying to get over an ex). My most recent ex, I met her one day hanging out at my friends garage, they were friends and he told me she was going to stop by. I had gotten out of another relationship not long before that and I wasn't really looking for anything, and then bam, there she was. Good things happen when you stop looking. It's like trying to find an object you've lost. When you start to search for it like crazy, you'll look for it in places where it wouldn't even make sense for it to be. It's only when you forget about it, and start going through your usual daily processes, that you're going to find it somewhere and laugh. Just because you're ready doesn't mean it's time for something new to enter your life. Just be happy that you are over the last relationship and try to be happy with yourself.
immotteproppy Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 When the first Whirlpool Duet album was released in December 2001 came as a surprise to the public. On the one hand, modern design and style, the load on the front was a big plus, on the other hand, however, a set of retail prices has become something of a shock to many people - More at Whirpool duet 9400
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