kirtrina19 Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 If you have been with someone for about a year and some months. You guys are comfortable with each other however, he does not want you to come over his place without calling. he said if you ever come uninvited he will break up the relationship.
Fondue Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 I am kind of the same way. Not sure if breaking up for that incident in a 1 year relationship is something I can see myself doing, but I would definitely be pissed. Some of us (men and women) are private and prefer to stay private. If you're not welcome into his house uninvited, then please respect that. I can see why your bf might be upset. I would consider it rude, personally. EDIT: I know your post will cause a ****storm around these parts. People will immediately be yelling "OMG, HE'S CHEATING! DUMP HIM!" Or my favorite, "What does he have to hide!? CHECK HIS PHONE!" Be rational, please.
k100danny Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 That just seems wrong to me. you should be pretty serious after a year. By this point in the relationship my girlfriend would probably have a front door key. I would seriously question why this is? I just can't see an acceptable reason to say that myself but it may be something innocent but i cant see how.
carhill Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 So, what does he do, shoot religious zealots and solicitors who come to his door? IMO, that's a bit extreme. Of course, after a year and some months my exW and I were married and living together and she had the keys to everything. She was never unwelcome at my place, even when we were dating. Perhaps lifestyle is a bit different out here in the country.
Casablanca Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 That seems a little bit much...I can understand not wanting a surprise visit...but to break up...that seems a bit much...I wouldnt have a problem if a gf surprised me
KathyM Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 I'd drop the guy if he ever said that to me. He sounds like a control freak. Although it's pretty normal to want privacy and not want people to just drop by, him threatening to break up with you in advance would be a deal breaker for me. Sounds hostile and inflexible, not to mention controlling.
grkBoy Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 If you have been with someone for about a year and some months. You guys are comfortable with each other however, he does not want you to come over his place without calling. he said if you ever come uninvited he will break up the relationship. What a weirdo. I'd even wonder if he's got someone else. Guy doesn't want you coming unannounced...sounds like someone who has to hide the mistress or wife... ...or Real Doll and porn collection!
Feelin Frisky Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 I can understand the boundary--I can't understand the threat. If he's that cavalier about breaking it off, then it ain't all that in the first place.
make me believe Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 I can understand the boundary--I can't understand the threat. If he's that cavalier about breaking it off, then it ain't all that in the first place. Agreed. I don't like surprise visits either, but threatening to break up over one makes me think he's hiding something. The break up threat is just too extreme. He could easily say "hey, just so you know, I'm not comfortable with surprise visits so I'd prefer you to call before you come over." No need to say "Come over unannounced and IT'S OVER!!!"
sm1tten Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 The boundary is fine but the consequences are disproportionate with the action and frankly do make it sound like he is hiding something. But then again, is it really so hard to call first?
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