enigma_1204 Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 (edited) Me and my bf have been together since we were in hs...I was 16 he was 15.....he was the sweetest guy anyone could have ever met...and for me to have him was unreal...all the girls like him but he only saw me...and bc I used to date older guys b4 him who used to cheat on me I knew he was to good to be tru...so I decided to get him b4 he got me (stupid, I know) as time grew on he eventually found out what I was doing from mutual friends and was so hurt he decided to go off and do him...however this was never mentioned until we found out I was pregnant (@ 19) we had already lost one child but by this point he had already became a different person...but we decided to try again and we have a beautiful son who was born only 2lbs...during my pregnancy he was really mean to me but I loved him and days and nights I would beg him to just be with me (he started dating his best friend) eventually he came around and we got back together and things about our past finally hit the surface....now that he knows all the things I've done he is even meaner....we constantly fight (my nose has gotten broken, cops being called) all in front of my son...he has put me outside in just a tee shirt and socks (nothyn else) and locked me out my house. He has told me he hates the day he met me, he hates me and he hates having a kid wit me on more than one occasion. We haven't done anything for our son together as parents (no christmas, easter, mothers/fathers day..not even his first bday) the weekend of our sons first bday he put me out on the hghway bc I found out he was talking to a chick on fb that he wanted to sleep with but he won't even be my friend on fb or put that he is in a relationship...he told our mutual friends I'm just another hoe to him bc of our past (he's been wit more people in lesser months then I have) but I love him so much I forgive him every time... Recently he lived wit me for a month and for three days we were ok till I found out he was trynna sleep wit another girl at tha same tyme he was tellyn me he hates me...(I started tawkyn to guys but not trynna hook up just to distract myself from him bc I was hurt) and wen this came out we fought...he punched a hole in my door and it got physical between us...but he always says sorry...to sum it up...it doesn't feel like he loves me anymore...but he is always saying sorry but goes right back to being mean...he says I'm always nagging and doesn't wanna change but I cooked and cleaned and take care of our son while he is at work...one night he came home and I had on a really cute underwear set for him and he yelled at me and ended up going to sleep with his back turned to me every night for two weeks....we stopped having sex and the most talking we do is arguing...today he told me to make his day and just leave already bc I'm making myself look dumb by arguing with him....sorry its so long...I just dnt know what to do...bc he is not only leaving me but our son as well Edited July 18, 2011 by enigma_1204 change title
azsinglegal Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 It sounds to me like he's not committed to you or your son. No father is better than an abusive one (I know this first hand). You need to value you and your son's life more. Yes, it's scary to be alone. Yes, it's terrifying to not have a man in your life as a single mother. But you have to ask yourself, do you want just any man or do you want a kind man who wants to be in your life? I think you love the idea of him, more than him. It doesn't sound like he treats you or your son right. And a broken nose? Sorry...but the first time a guy hit me would be the last. (Also from experience) Stand up for yourself. Find support in your friends and single mother's groups. Don't allow some trashy man to use and abuse you just because he got you pregnant. Your son deserves a better life than that. What kind of example of a relationship are you giving him if he sees abuse and anger?
Alfie Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 Your situation is so sad and I am so sorry you have to go through all this. People change, especially in their teens and to their adult years. Sounds like not only did he change, but also the circumstances around you both. I am sorry but I think you should muster up the courage to leave now before you end wasting more time on him and having your son grown up in such an environment. It seems as if he almost despises you for some reason, maybe you two forced yourselves to grow up too fast and this is why he resenting you. Also I know he is probably thinking that he wants to be with other women bc he has only been with one in the past. Either way it doesn't seem like he will ever change or learn to treat you better. I hope you can find the strength to set him straight or just leave him. Good luck
Author enigma_1204 Posted July 21, 2011 Author Posted July 21, 2011 Thank you both for the replies...a part of me wants to leave but then a part is saying just fight for it...so lately I've been pouring my heart out to him and. One minute he will say something really mean to me and tell me to just walk away...then the next he'll come back and say he is sorry and wants to be with me and only me (not even an hour later) I am so confused...today he txted me and told me he wanted to spend the night (he moved out) and come home and cuddle...he rented movies and now I'm just waiting...I love him with all my heart and when we were younger I didn't show him...but I'm ready and I'm afraid it may be too late
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