thinkinglots Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 broke up and he is seeing another women. he said he loved me but needed to see where his life was going. I have been his safety net for 6 months now with texting, seeing each other (he actually said he wanted me back) etc.... I stopped contact to re- gain some self respect and start to move forward from all this. He texted me to say he was thinking of me but I have yet to respond. I do love him and kind of feel bad that Im not responding. Should I respond so he knows Im alive??
wilsonx Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 Absolutely not! Stop being his safety net. Let him support himself and grow up. NC is for you to heal and move on. The less you do it, the longer it takes you to heal and move on.
geegirl Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 So he broke up with you because he doesn't know where his life is going but then starts seeing another woman because he now knows where his life is going. Does not make sense to me? Maybe he broke up because he wasn't sure if you were the one for him but gave you cockamamie bs about his path in life. Aside from that, why do you even think you owe him a text to confirm you are alive? The guy dumped you and is dating someone else. The only reason he is doing this is to see if you are still there as his safety net. You were his fallback, he sure hopes you are his fallback now. Seriously, if you NC'd before to gain your self-respect and to move forward, keep doing it. Yes, great he is thinking of you. Then what?
radiodarcy Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 nope. you said so yourself, you're doing NC for you - - so you can take time to heal and rebuild your self-respect. the only person who needs to know you're still alive is you. don't forfeit you're healing and sense of self to assure him of that. remember this is about you - - not him. don't buy into the crumbs he's throwing you.
English-Rose Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 Your story is similar to mine and my advice 3.5 months down the line from the break up is to stay in nc. I wish I had. The crumbs your ex is throwing u by contacting you are simply his way of keeping his foot in the door with you. Yes he cares about you, but if he cared enough he'd be with u, not her. Sorry to be so harsh. He broke up with you, now you have to turn the tables round and take back control of the situation. By not initiating or responding to contact with him you are rejecting him and he won't like that one little bit. You know the saying, we always want what we can't have. Make him sweat a bit, worry about where u r and who ur with. It'll do him no harm to feel a bit insecure. And in the meantime, work on getting ur head straight! It's his loss, remember that.
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