rafallus Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 I once dated a girl who had back surgery to fix her scoliosis. She had a scar on her back and I had no warning. I still think she looked sexy naked and I think I kissed her scar after I asked her about it. In fact this Sunday I've seen a girl with pretty big scar on her arm. She was sexy regardless, and my mind was made up about that before I've noticed. Certain things are just viewed very differently when aroused.
Sebstian Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Yeah don't confess your insecurities... It is scientifically proven that women likes men with scars. Some evolutionary thing going on. Also for god sake don't tell her you're a virgin. If you get her in bed make sure to have fun with her. Sex is not supposed to be a serious thing and it kills the vibe totally if over analyzed. I've slept with many girls, but I always seem get back to the basics. Missionary and from behind are sure go tos. I always give oral sex first if she will let me. I will advise you doing the same. All girls are different, so just feel your way around and see what she responds to. I find it even more intimate and arousing than banging away. If it's your first time and you get the chance go for it! Another good thing is that you can fiddle with the condom while you're licking her. Just laugh about it if the condom gives you trouble. Also by giving her a good oral satisfaction you're excused for not lasting long once you get down to business. Lastly, she love you for it and you'll feel like a champ for satisfying her:) In more detail, just kiss her boobs, then stomach (don't linger) and then thighs and edge of panties. If she's ticklish skip the thigh/edge thing. If it's new I'll leave the panties on to begin with and just pull them to the side. Only when I'm certain that she's comfortable with me being there will I pull her panties completely off. Otherwise she might feel slutty or too self aware to let you satisfy her. Also it is really arousing to escalate things in steps. Remember have fun. Some of the best sexual experiences I've had has not been with the most pretty ones or the ones with super bodies. Luckily enough that's not how it works.
dispatch3d Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I have a second date with a girl I can tell likes me and am scared of potential success... I grew up obese, lost the weight but was still left with loose skin, a bad case of social anxiety, and a pretty low self worth. I am now 25 and never really even kissed a girl. I have been really trying to come out of my shell the last two years and my first date with her was my first date ever. But I'm really still self conscious about my body, I won't take my shirt off in public. I have really noticeable scars from surgery to remove loose skin, and on top of that in my mind I think my body looks terrible (fine with clothes on) Oh yeah, also 25 year old virgin who has no idea what hes doing... So if it gets to that point should I basically tell her everything? She seems really nice and was psych major so maybe understanding....but I don't know if telling a girl how screwed up you are is a good idea... No, no don't do that! If things are going good talk about fun stuff, if things are going bad reassure her that everything is okay. Don't let your fears over-rule you!
dispatch3d Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I think you should tell her what you've been through. I also think you should start working out more. A lot more. People love a good success story and I think yours will be worth telling. As far as being a virgin. If it makes you feel any better I'm a virgin as well. are you that girl in your profile picture? How the hell did you manage that..... ps. this means that girl in the picture is hot! if it's you.
linhely Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 This is your first time dating so don't be afraid to explore yourself. Yes, it's true that women don't necessarily want a man who is down on themselves and has low self esteem, BUT, a good woman who truly loves you will understand you and be emotionally supportive of you. Treat this period as a time of self discovery. Discover what qualities YOU want in your SO. Sometimes when you make yourself vulnerable to others, you discover a lot about your own strengths, and most importantly, you uncover the other person's true character. Contravened Key Of Microsoft Office 2007Make Office 2007 Through OrganizationMicrosoft Office 2007
NursingGirl Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 It's not about being upfront. It's about some intuition, when certain things really shouldn't be said in certain situations. Imagine being offered a job. When talking with your potential employer, do you mention that you barely make ends meet and are insecure about losing your place if you don't get a job? I don't think so. So imagine a nice date, a pair gets cuddly, they make out (or are about to), then he drops a bomb on her, how insecure he is. Does it make any sense? Not a bit to me. I'm afraid, that no matter how confidently he thinks he approaches that issue, he will always look insecure in that situation. That bit of skin shouldn't really worry her at all. Everybody has some blemishes. Once she gets really turned on, they don't matter. Yes....all of this. An attraction has to form first and until that happens, it is not necessarily and actually a death sentence to the possibility of a relationship to be revealing your weaknesses. I've had a c-section but I never feel the need to explain that to anyone during the first date (or ever actually). He either doesn't mind or he goes screaming for the hills and the screaming/running part hasn't ever happened. Attraction first!
Imajerk17 Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 Vulnerability + strength = extremely attractive. Vulnerability (without strength) = repulsive. Women are drawn to a man's tears, if the man in question is a firefighter who just carried some living creatures out of a burning building. Or if he is a soldier who lost a buddy in battle despite his best efforts to save him. If the man in question "just had a bad day and is feeling weepy" forget it.
thatone Posted July 27, 2011 Posted July 27, 2011 good rule of thumb: there is absolutely no place for negative conversation of any sort on a first date unless the negativity is aimed at something or someone else and you KNOW that she will agree with you. even then, it should be sarcastic and you have to assume she'll pick up on the sarcasm. so basically, don't do it.
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