MandyC18 Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 The ex got the letter, i come over later that night around 9. We watched a movie cuddled acted like a couple (seriously like nothing ever happened) after almost 1week somedays no contact. We hooked up but didnt go all the way. Before i left he was holding me and saying thanks for coming, and before i left i said "can i talk to you?" he says "yeahh" eagerly. i told him the purpose of my letter and asked what he wants because i need to know if i need to move on etc. I told him i dont want to jump into a relationship but start "talking" again and let it lead up to that. I asked him what he wanted and he said "we can start talking again" and i paused..then said "yeahh" and he said "yeahh" kissed goodbye a couple of times and left it at that. We talked the next day i chatted him on facebook, the yesterday he chatted me and i was surprised i figure he wouldnt talk to me at all. Conversation was going great then it lead into my parents..then whats going..then to upset..and now idk what to do. He seriously thinks my parents hate him but they really dont. Yeah they said they didnt really care for him when we were dating because of the pointless fights we had. But ive talked to them, they ask about him still, and etc. They are my parents i think i would know better than him if they hated him. He said my letter did nothing because he already knew all of that (reintroducing myself) and he actually needed an "i miss you" or something. Seriously...every time i spilt my heart out it was too much and now when i dont its not what he wanted.. i NEED a guys perspective. What do you wanna hear from an ex girlfriend..
Crisis Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 I'm glad for the most part that the letter went ok, and I'm glad things went back to the way they were for a bit. This I am happy for you about. As for the way he is acting, I can see how he can feel like your parents don't like him. He wants to feel comfortable around them and if he thinks they don't like him then he can't and doesn't want to make things hard in the relationship if they don't like him. As for him saying he wants you to miss him, me being a guy that is what I want my EX to say. She broke up with me and she needs to tell me she wants me, no one else that she misses me and wants to work to make things better. My situation is a lot different from yours though so I can't say if he is saying that because he feels you don't miss him, or because he's trying to trap you. Some guys are jerks and will string someone along just to know they are there so that your the one chasing him. If this happens he can leave at anytime, and use you when he wants, but if he is actually trying you to get you to say and act like you miss him, then he generally wants you to miss him and want him all the time. Again, your situation is a lot different than mine, but from a guy's point of view those 2 things are strong possibilities. You just need to try to figure out if he really wants you to say it and mean it, or if he is trying to feel you out to test his boundaries on everything else. Some people on here may have a better explanation, but that is mine. Either way, I hope it works in your favor. Good luck, keep us posted.
wilsonx Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 He said my letter did nothing because he already knew all of that (reintroducing myself) and he actually needed an "i miss you" or something. Seriously...every time i spilt my heart out it was too much and now when i dont its not what he wanted.. i NEED a guys perspective. What do you wanna hear from an ex girlfriend.. GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES. Theyre all the the same. You have to go to NC. What you did with him is just hang out as friends. If you would have slept with him all you would have been is friends with benefits. At least you kept your dignity with that. He told you that because he needs an ego boost for what he did to you. Thats it. He's stringing you along, dont play along. Go back to NC and stay away from him.
geegirl Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 The question isn't what does a guy want to hear from a girlfriend. You can tell him everything he wants to hear and he will gladly sop it up with a biscuit. I know you guys are young but when you are asking a guy if he wants to take it slow and all he has to say is, "yeah, sure, we can talk"...it sounds to me like he was just telling you what you want to hear. Plus you gave him the grand old prize of having you without a real commitment or relationship. He had you once as a girlfriend and now you've downgraded yourself to someone he hangs with hoping to slowly tread back into a relationship, once again. I wanted to hear you say you miss me. I would decipher that as I wanted confirmation that you're still on a string. When you sent him the letter, did he acknowldege it and mention it and sit down with you to talk about it? Or did he just wait for you to bring it up or wait for you to want to discuss it?
Author MandyC18 Posted July 18, 2011 Author Posted July 18, 2011 well ummm he just texted me asking me to come on a trip with him that we have like planned since wayyy long ago.. LOVE IS CONFUSING!
Mack05 Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 well ummm he just texted me asking me to come on a trip with him that we have like planned since wayyy long ago.. LOVE IS CONFUSING! In this instance its not. This has FWB written all over it! You are going to end up crushed Mandy. We all can see it, except you..
geegirl Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 well ummm he just texted me asking me to come on a trip with him that we have like planned since wayyy long ago.. LOVE IS CONFUSING! So what if he asked you? Which guy won't ask a girl to go on a trip -- one that doesn't want a relationship, but will offer him all the benefits of a relationship? Jackpot! Know the saying why buy the cow... It's not confusing. Just a trip with a girl whom he can have sex with. That's about it.
Author MandyC18 Posted July 18, 2011 Author Posted July 18, 2011 wow this is a family trip...easy one the harshness thanks.
geegirl Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 Just trying to make you see. Whether you are going on a family trip or not, the intent remains the same.
Author MandyC18 Posted July 19, 2011 Author Posted July 19, 2011 in the end we all do what we wanna do. some advice kicks in fast some..not so much. Everyone has their story and everyone wants certain results. Sometimes its best to kick back and let nature take its own course!
geegirl Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 in the end we all do what we wanna do. some advice kicks in fast some..not so much. Everyone has their story and everyone wants certain results. Sometimes its best to kick back and let nature take its own course! If you want to do what you want to do, then of course, you should kick back and let nature guide you instead of coming to LS and repeating yourself about the same thing over and over again and wanting advice. When you hear what you want to hear, then you're happy and giddy. The moment you don't, you're all about nature and the call of the wild and what not. Good luck to you.
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