Is making friends after rejection bad?

[sm1tten]

If it wasnt no big deal then why doesnt he just go past me & at least look at me lol!?

It is precisely his reaction that tells us that it wasn't a big deal to him. For a 20 year old guy dating is a numbers game, on to the next if this one isn't willing. The fact that he's not giving you any attention after the fact is bugging the **** out of you. I already kind of had a vague impression that you might be an attention whore from your posts before but now I'm absolutely certain.

 

There's nothing wrong with rejecting a guy for any reason that you want. Good on you for not stringing him along and for just being upfront with him. But your posts make me think he's the one who dodged a bullet.

[Trimmer]

U dont know what your talking about I rejected him and he started to ignore me, not the other way around.

He took the bold step of asking you out; you rejected his advance. You took the very low risk and vague step of saying "let's be friends" and he rejected your advance. Either way you rejected each other, and your quandary now is in processing his rejection.

 

If you didn't care about his rejection, his behavior wouldn't even be on your radar. You are dwelling on his behavior, but I think the real mystery for you is his not accepting your "let's be friends" offer. I think that's the part that you aren't understanding.

 

I dont play games ok? Im just very cautious of who I wanna give my # to because theres alot of crazies out here now. Im not about to wound up in a ditch someplace lol.

I don't think you're playing games. But I think you are having some trouble processing this.

 

Here's an empathy test, (i.e. the ability to put yourself in someone else's place and imagine what they might be feeling):

 

Can you imagine that he might be feeling either (a) embarrassed, or (b) just nothing, about you and his encounter with you?

 

Or is the only possible explanation you can come up with is that he wanted a hookup and now he's being rude?

[Romeofud]

Typical female bullsh*t.

 

He didn't approach you to be friends. He didn't want your damn platonic friendship. He wanted a date.

 

Let me let you in on something; we men aren't as dumb as you women think. He, like every other man who has lived, will live, or is living at this moment, knows that "Let's just be friends" is female for "I'm not interested/attracted/you don't have enough muscle/you don't have an expensive enough car/you don't have a good enough house."

 

You are not offering friendship. You, just like every other liar--er--woman--wanted him to give you attention so your damn female ego would recieve a daily boost.

 

Because unless you planned on playing tackle football with him, basketball, Xbox (Live), talking music/politics/sports, you would have not been a friend to him for the simple reason that this is what men do with their friends.

 

We do not tackle women. We date and have sex with them. You know this by virtue of being a woman which, by default, means that you've been dealing with sexual advances since you were 13 (same for every woman).

 

So no, you're not surprised. You knew what would happen just like every other lying woman on the planet. You did not want this man to be your "friend". You wanted an emotional tampon who would run up to you at every beck and call because he liked you and wanted to date you. All you really wanted to do was use him as a shoulder to cry on. You were going to use his attraction to you for your benefit.

 

Because if you DID want him (as you claimed when you changed your story. Again, typical woman; lying), you would have accepted his date offer. If I were him, I would avoid your lying ass too.

 

I bet you're going to complain that you can't find a man now, too.

 

You made your bed. You'll be sleeping in it alone. He will probably be sleeping in his with someone else.

 

Why so tight, bro? The broad was unsure about the dude, let it be. U all hot and pissed at her cause she shot the dude down and got confused at the fact he started avoiding her. So its clear sweetheart is on this dude's mind when he sees her or he wouldn't have to duck and weave.

 

Anyway whats good, sweetheart? I see you italian lol. I love those girls. U ever been with a brother?

[singlelife]

It is precisely his reaction that tells us that it wasn't a big deal to him. For a 20 year old guy dating is a numbers game, on to the next if this one isn't willing. The fact that he's not giving you any attention after the fact is bugging the **** out of you. I already kind of had a vague impression that you might be an attention whore from your posts before but now I'm absolutely certain.

 

There's nothing wrong with rejecting a guy for any reason that you want. Good on you for not stringing him along and for just being upfront with him. But your posts make me think he's the one who dodged a bullet.

 

 

exactly!!!

[Shaun-Dro]

Why so tight, bro? The broad was unsure about the dude, let it be. U all hot and pissed at her cause she shot the dude down and got confused at the fact he started avoiding her. So its clear sweetheart is on this dude's mind when he sees her or he wouldn't have to duck and weave.

 

Anyway whats good, sweetheart? I see you italian lol. I love those girls. U ever been with a brother?

 

Hey, this isn't a dating site. Go find your own "broads" elsewhere.

[thatone]

Thats soooo not true lol. I wanted to be friends & get to know him a little bit before even considering giving him a shot. Im not saying that Im gonna date him as we're friends but u never know but he blew it. I think he was a jerk for trying to avoid me because its so stupid. If he doesnt wanna be friends fine but its not like I embarrassed him when I said no. I was really nice about it & I only did it because I just didnt really know him like that. I wasnt comfortable gee

 

i know it's hard for you to grasp, but the rest of the world is not one big high school. you won't know anyone you meet before you meet them.

 

he didn't blow it, you did. and as others have said he called you on your game and now your fear of rejection is getting to you.

 

welcome to the real world, enjoy your stay.

[rafallus]

Thats soooo not true lol. I wanted to be friends & get to know him a little bit before even considering giving him a shot.

Either there is attraction/chemistry/whatever you call it, or there isn't.

 

He definitely had hots for you, you not so much. You obviously turned him down. Your counteroffer of friendship may easily be seen as an attempt to string him along for validation (even if it isn't the case, and you really do want to be friends - which I don't buy, but it's irrelevant). So he essentially was just protecting himself, because otherwise he'd be risking dealing with girl he wants but can't have.

 

I'd do the same thing in his shoes.