chucksagent Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 I will try to make this as short as possible. My girlfriend (we live together) and I were going through her old pictures to scan and stumbled upon a card given to her by a former boyfriend. (Between this boyfriend and myself, she was married once and is currently divorced - meaning, she's kept this card the whole time) When my girlfriend and I first got together she ALSO kept old pictures and cards of her and her ex husband. I told her I thought it was strange considering how things ended with them (he cheated on her and left her). She ended up destroying them because she felt it was important to me which it was - why keep stuff from someone who hurt you and didnt care about your feelings. Coincidentally, the OLD boyfriend who she was holding onto the card from ALSO cheated on her (like her husband eventually did) and left her. When we were friends (my girlfriend and I were friends BEFORE we were lovers) she told me that if she had to pick 1 great love of her entire life it would be the same guy (who she had this old card from) not her husband of 7 years. I couldn't help but think, wow, of all the loves you had you pick THIS GUY?!?!? Allow me to explain: The backstory on the old boyfriend (her lifes great love BEFORE we started dating) was that he was in law school and he came from a REAL RICH and cocky family. His family NEVER felt she was good enough and NEVER felt her family was good enough (in spite of her family being awesome and her father being a successful lawyer as well just not the greedy SUPER rich type). Ultimately his father ended up setting him up with this girl who DID meet the families requirements, and rather than stand up to his father he dated this girl BEHIND my girlfriends back. Well one night my girlfriends best friend caught the two of them out on a date when he told my girlfriend (at that time HIS GIRLFRIEND) that he had to help the family get ready for a party. His infidelity and subsequent lack of back bone to stand up to his father led to their breaking up. I have to admit and I know I will be criticized on this board for it - but I said to her "Why would you keep this card? He treated you bad, wronged you, broke your heart, cheated on you, THEN YOU GET MARRIED someone else and decide to hold onto this? That's just pathetic...I'm sorry but it is." I honestly find it sad and pathetic she would hold onto memorabilia from him OR her ex husband who both wronged such a wonderful person. (she has the biggest heart ever and would do anything for anyone) I was mad and realize I shouldn't have used a harsh word like pathetic - but I just can't comprehend WHY anyone would hold onto memories from people who didn't treat them right?!? She ripped up the card immediately and claimed she had no clue it was in there. Which maybe she didn't because WHY would she suggest going through her old tub of pictures if she knew that was in there. But still, why keep it from when you left your parents house, to your marital home, to your apartment, to now when you live with me?!?! What does everyone think?
Casablanca Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 You were a little harsh with her, and I'd give her the benefit of the doubt....I just moved and I found a couple old cards from an ex many years ago and I pitched them...it is easy for something as small as a card to get hidden in a bunch of junk
azsinglegal Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 Women hold onto things for several reasons. Even tho he cheated, we still want to remember the good times. I have cards from my ex-husband because when he gave them to me they were happy times. Some women toss everything out with the relationship, others save things. Doesn't mean she misses him or wants him back, it just means it was a good memory.
sm1tten Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 I think you way overreacted and you put way too much thought into this whole thing.
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