ptp Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 (edited) So went out with a girl 1st date. She is beautiful and the type of girl who I want to be in a relationship with. The night before the date: My power goes out --> no air conditioning --> no sleep so I am dead tired even at the start of the day. During the date: It went okay, not bad but not great either. We had a good conversation but, we didn't really hit it of (like you see in the movies) and there was very little flirting. After the date: We go to a work party, my friend drives us both. At the party we drink a little dance a little. We both know a lot of people there so we actually didn't spend that much time together. I wasn't all over her and she wasn't really seeking me out. I didn't see her dancing or talking with other guys and I wasn't hitting on any girls either. After the party: My friend drops us at my place. At this point I am thinking the date was just okay but she really that into me. It is 2:30 a.m. I am dead tired and don't really want to get in my car and drive her home. So I ask her if she wanted to spend the night. Surprisingly she says yes. She changes into some of my clothes. We are lying in my bed I am about to fall asleep when he grabs my hand and guides it towards her. She puts the palm of my hand straight on her breast. I am kind of surprised and I am not sure if she did this on accident so I just slide my hand down to her stomach. It is 3 am, I am still dead tired and wanting to fall asleep when she says "entertain me". I am like WTF does she want? Does she want to watch a movie or something? Anyway, I just start talking and she is in my arms and we end up talking to until the Sun comes up. It was fun and the time flew by. I drove her home in the morning and just sleep the day away. Now I am a little confused on what to think about the date. Like I said she is very hot, the type of girl a guy wants to be in a relationship with and she is classy and smart but, I didn't think she was really that into me? I haven't called her yet, because I was sleeping the day away and I don't want to seem too available. What do you think? Edited July 18, 2011 by ptp
Casablanca Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 I'm not a girl, but sounds like it went great to me....remember not every first date is like what you see in the movies) and really the best first date I had, which was actually like something you see in the movies, she never returned my calls or texts, so it is all a crap shoot
thehead Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 I think when she said "entertain me" after putting your hand on her boob, she didn't mean with conversation. Call her, arrange a date, and get physical with her earlier in the date than latter. She's probably under the impression you're not into her.
Author ptp Posted July 18, 2011 Author Posted July 18, 2011 Thanks for the responses, I appreciate the guys perspective as well. See the thing is during our date and the party, there were no "sparks" there was no "chemistry", no "electricity" between us, we didn't have a passionate dance, she wasn't playing with her hair, biting her lip or finding reasons to make contact with me. She didn't really flirt with me at all. There were none of the signs that made me think this girl is attracted to me. When we got home from the party, instead of asking her to spend the night if I had decided to drive her home, I probably wouldn't have expected a 2nd date from her. Then the whole boob thing, who knows if that was on purpose or accident. I don't know what to read from that. The only thing I am sure about was that I really enjoyed her company for the few hours she was in my bed before I drove her home.
Author ptp Posted July 18, 2011 Author Posted July 18, 2011 "there were no "sparks" there was no "chemistry", no "electricity" between us" - you sound like a little girl...you must be a doormat type of a guy who ruins it for the rest of us.... The only one who ruins it for you is you. Don't hate
Feelsgoodman Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 She changes into some of my clothes. We are lying in my bed I am about to fall asleep when he grabs my hand and guides it towards her. She puts the palm of my hand straight on her breast. I am kind of surprised and I am not sure if she did this on accident Definitely by accident. It is 3 am, I am still dead tired and wanting to fall asleep when she says "entertain me". I am like WTF does she want? Does she want to watch a movie or something? No, you fool! She did not want to watch a movie. Don't you know what women want when they put your hands on their breasts and ask to be entertained? They only do this when they want to talk about politics.
shanemike88 Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 It is 3 am, I am still dead tired and wanting to fall asleep when she says "entertain me". I am like WTF does she want? Does she want to watch a movie or something? Anyway, I just start talking and she is in my arms and we end up talking to until the Sun comes up. It was fun and the time flew by. What do you think? She didn't want to watch a movie she wanted to make a movie.
Feelsgoodman Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 You just proved to her OP that you are more a girlfriend material than Man who is ready to ravish her in bed....staying up all night till sunrise talking.....wow...woman sure will get wet with that going on... That girl is probably on another message board right now, asking why a gay man would invite her to sleep over?
Author ptp Posted July 18, 2011 Author Posted July 18, 2011 You just proved to her OP that you are more a girlfriend material than Man who is ready to ravish her in bed....staying up all night till sunrise talking.....wow...woman sure will get wet with that going on... Yea you sound like a real "Man" and probably would try to ravish any woman you could get your hands on. To bad your ED makes sure that the only thing you ravish is a bag of potato chips.
Author ptp Posted July 18, 2011 Author Posted July 18, 2011 Why not just be honest and come out of the closet? Because I am not gay but, even if I was gay I wouldn't come out of the closet for the fear of you trying to ravish me.
sm1tten Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 Sounds like she was attracted enough to want to bang you, and you missed it. And just because you didn't feel any sparks, doesn't mean she didn't, or doesn't mean that there is no potential. If you had a good date, why not ask her out again?
Author ptp Posted July 18, 2011 Author Posted July 18, 2011 (edited) Why didn't you have sex with her? Because the whole time on the date and at the party, I never felt like she was flirting with me or was attracted to me. So based on the fact that she might have accidentally dropped my hand on her boob, I should take that as a sign as she is totally into me? I find that a little confusing. The date was more or less a dud until the very end. Edited July 18, 2011 by ptp
Author ptp Posted July 18, 2011 Author Posted July 18, 2011 "dropped my hand on her boob, I should take that as a sign as she is totally into me? I find that a little confusing." - sounds like something a Gay man would say... you would know since you are such an expert in what gay men say.
sm1tten Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 So based on the fact that she might have accidentally dropped my hand on her boob, I should take that as a sign as she is totally into me? I find that a little confusing. The date was more or less a dud until the very end. No. For one thing, it is pretty hard to accidentally drop someone's hand on your breast and then make no gesture to move it, or move away, and just keep lying there. That just doesn't happen. But no, she is not totally into you. In fact, she probably isn't into you particularly much. But she might have been interested in hooking up; the two are not mutually exclusive. If it was such a dud, then why are you even wondering what happened, though?
rafallus Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 You have to wonder, how come, that you found yourself in the bed with her, and then she "dropped YOUR hand on her boob". Yeah, happened to me too with one girl, except replace hand with "head", and it just happened twice... Sure, her deciding to stay the night was a total accident. I believe that. I also have a farm on the Moon to sell. Is she into you? NOW probably not.
Author ptp Posted July 18, 2011 Author Posted July 18, 2011 Thanks to the posters who took time to help me work through this. I am a place right now where I want a stable LTR not random hookups. This girl is perfect for that, she is a little older than me, hot, smart, sophisticated etc... Also since she works where I work, if it was just a hookup, things would get awkward when we ran into each other. "If it was such a dud, then why are you even wondering what happened, though?" It was a dud in the sense she never showed much interest in me during the date and party. I still had fun, I was on date with a beautiful girl. Most girls find ways to show you that they are interested but, she didn't do any of those things during the date nor the party. So I was looking for some perspective (specifically from women) to help me interpret her actions when we got back to my place. Did her actions actually mean something or was it just accidental.
Madi in evergreen Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 If I were your date, I would think; 1. I went on a date with you because I liked you. 2. When you were not all over me at the party, I was wondering, thinking "Is he not interested in me...Why is he not hanging around me whole time at the party?". But since I still liked you at that point, I would not flirt with other men and make sure you noticed that. 3. When you asked me to stay in your bed that night, I was thinking 'Okay so he is interested in me after all'. 4. When I made a move on you, I was thinking 'Why doesn't he do anything. Is he just too shy? Should I give him a clue so he knows I am willing to put out?' 5. When you were not still making any moves, I was extremely embarrassed and confused. " What the f.... does he want?" 6. When I got out of your car in that morning, I was so lost thinking "What the f... again. Does he like me or not???????????????" "Oh great, I put myself out and was rejected right then. The best date ever!!!!!!!!" If I were you, I would call her and make it clear that you are interested in her, want another date. Also I would let her know that I am grateful that she decided to stay with you the other night so you had such a great time with her. Bottom line : she is interested in you. Now she is embarrassed and pissed by the situation. OP Make a move!!!!!
Madi in evergreen Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 (edited) By the way, based on how you describe her, I don't believe she is a type that put out easily on the early dates. But it is possible that she was convinced there was good chemistry between you two but very confused at some point that you didn't act on it much. So confusion made her make a bold move in you bed, I believe.... By the way2, in case you are still wondering she accidentally dropped your hand on her chest. I say "NO". Girls don't accidentally drag men's hands on her private/semi-private parts...believe me. And what matters is she initiated physical contact with you in your bed. Edited July 18, 2011 by Madi in evergreen
Author ptp Posted July 18, 2011 Author Posted July 18, 2011 If I were your date, I would think; 1. I went on a date with you because I liked you. 2. When you were not all over me at the party, I was wondering, thinking "Is he not interested in me...Why is he not hanging around me whole time at the party?". But since I still liked you at that point, I would not flirt with other men and make sure you noticed that. 3. When you asked me to stay in your bed that night, I was thinking 'Okay so he is interested in me after all'. 4. When I made a move on you, I was thinking 'Why doesn't he do anything. Is he just too shy? Should I give him a clue so he knows I am willing to put out?' 5. When you were not still making any moves, I was extremely embarrassed and confused. " What the f.... does he want?" 6. When I got out of your car in that morning, I was so lost thinking "What the f... again. Does he like me or not???????????????" "Oh great, I put myself out and was rejected right then. The best date ever!!!!!!!!" If I were you, I would call her and make it clear that you are interested in her, want another date. Also I would let her know that I am grateful that she decided to stay with you the other night so you had such a great time with her. Bottom line : she is interested in you. Now she is embarrassed and pissed by the situation. OP Make a move!!!!! okay thank-you that gives me more insight into what might be going on in her pretty little head. I think I was expecting too much during the date and party, thus when she was giving my the go ahead signal I wasn't aggressive enough. This is why I need some perspective from women.
Dorie Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 If I were you, I would call her and make it clear that you are interested in her, want another date. Also I would let her know that I am grateful that she decided to stay with you the other night so you had such a great time with her. Bottom line : she is interested in you. Now she is embarrassed and pissed by the situation. OP Make a move!!!!! Very good advice this.
Mr. Savage Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 Yes, her wanting sex on a first date shows some real class . I don't think you two are a good match. You want a LTR that develops from the ground up and she sounds ready and willing to give it up to any guy that asks her to stay over on the spot. Kind of a gender reversal here but not too uncommon actually. Go out a few more times and see what happens.
Author ptp Posted July 19, 2011 Author Posted July 19, 2011 Yes, her wanting sex on a first date shows some real class . I don't think you two are a good match. You want a LTR that develops from the ground up and she sounds ready and willing to give it up to any guy that asks her to stay over on the spot. Kind of a gender reversal here but not too uncommon actually. Go out a few more times and see what happens. Don't be so quick to judge. Classy means how much respect she has for herself, treats other people and how she carries herself. It has nothing to do with what she does between the sheet.
make me believe Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 I think I was expecting too much during the date and party, thus when she was giving my the go ahead signal I wasn't aggressive enough. I think you're right about this. It sounds like you were expecting fireworks on the first date, but that isn't necessarily realistic. Maybe she is just not a flirtatious person, or at least not until she feels more comfortable with a guy. She could have been feeling kind of shy -- after all, it was your first date! They can be awkward. I wouldn't think too much about her behavior or try to read too much into it. You said the date was overall ok, and that she seems like the type of person you'd want an LTR with. So, ask her out on a second date! What have you got to lose? Even if there is still no spark, at least you'll know for sure. Oh, and ps: I have never accidentally put a guy's hand on my boob while asking him to "entertain me" while laying in bed at 3am. lol. I think she was trying to make up for the lack of sparks in the first part of the date. Maybe over-compensating a bit.
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