Bella86 Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 [sIZE=2]My new guy is coming on too strong, I think. I met him on a dating site an we seemed to click straight away, chatted on the phone, on webcam for about 5 days before meeting. We have loads in common, similar beliefs and values. Plus he's good looking. Perfect right? The problem comes in where he doesnt want to slow down, our first date, he asked me to be his girlfriend, repeatedly, then when I sugested we slow down and get to know eachother he said jokingly 'Yea your right we have 60 years to get to know eachother.' What!?! He texts and calls constantly, or asks when Im goin to call him because he wants to hear my voice. We've spent the whole weekend together, I had a lovely time, apart from his constant need for feedback, 'Do I like him? He really likes me... ' He thinks we really click, he's never felt this close to someone so fast before. I'm not feeling that, I think he'd make a great friend right now maybe more if he'd just back off, and I've tried to say to him, 'Yes I do think we get on, but its early days,' Maybe I'm not being clear, I told him 'Im not good with getting emotional quickly he will have to give me time.' I've also asked him to stop asking me if I like him, I've told him once that I do, no need for me to keep reconfirming. Right? He also repeatedly asks if I'm going to leave him and 'disapear.' After spending the weekend together, I was looking forward to my Sunday, just chilling out and playing video games (its my ME time) I told him my phone was on the blink, which it is an he had seen this for himself over the weekend. As soon as he got home, the texts started, asking if my phone was working yet, then the calls he called 10 times. To which I didnt answer as I was busy gaming!!! I spoke to him on fb told him I was in a mood and playing on my games an that I wouldnt be available to speak to him tonight he also took this opportunity to list me as his GF on fb (meh its fb who cares). Didnt stop him trying to call. When he FINALY took the hint around 10oclock, he messaged me good night an asked me to text him in the morning. Woke in the morning to another text during the night tellin me he couldnt sleep because he was missing my cuddles.... puke. He asks me why I dont put more kisses on my messages. He likes to repeat that I'm 'his'.. his girlfriend, his baby girl, i'm all his. He even refers to me as 'my sexy girlfriend' in a couple of texts. It just sounds weird. I got to work this morning an he starts texting what am I doing tonight, I told him over the weekend I have plans all week an I cant see him till thursday, I retold him that I am doing my parents book-keeping this evening, followed by some college prep as I'm falling behind and its not like me. So I will be busy studying the next few weeks. He then tells me that I have to make time to have fun.... I thought I'd made it very clear how important my career is to me. Obviously not. I've had my fun over the weekend, I told him this, week days are for working hard. On our 2nd date, he took me to a pub, that happened to have his father & brother walk in and meet me... I wanted to escape so we went round his, which he was sure no-one would be in. Low n behold I meet his mother too. I havn't even told my parents I'm dating someone he keeps telling me his parents are asking about me..... I don't think he understands my priorities and I feel quite bad judgin him, I have my own house, car, I work in accounting, I also have another job at the weekend as a hotel receptionist and I study part time to finalise my accounting degree. As well as havinga social life and making time for myself I dont have time for a full on boyfriend that I see daily. He's a forklift truck driver that doesnt drive and lives with his parents....this I originally didn't mind but I'm starting to feel I'm out of his league. He seems to want to settle down and start a family, I have no intention of doin this for at least 10 years and I told him this - which he agreed with me. He's trying to hard to share my interests, like he quizzed me on what games I play (he didnt really have much interest in gaming in our initial conversation) now suddenly he LOVES my favourite game, has downloaded it and wants us to play together. I have a feeling If I'd told him I love Barbie online he'd be exactly the same. He asked me why I didnt answer last night, I told him I was gaming and that he picked really bad times to call repeatedly and he had a whinge that he was 2nd best to a game. I tried AGAIN just to tell him, that if he goes to fast or asks too much of me it will scare me off, that commitment scares me (it doesnt but this early it does) that I believe that 'u can never please everyone so make yourself happy first,' and he responded with a 'but u make me happy, does this mean we're over?' FFS! My house mate thinks this is the perfect guy, so I feel guilty for not liking having someone be so interested in me. But its all too much, too fast, its only been 8 days btw if your thinking of a timescale. If im having these thoughts now should I just get out? Or wait an see if he chills out, I do like him he has some really nice qualities but maybe I'm just used to a man with a bit more attitude. Not I say jump, he says 'How high?' Any opinions on this situation would be appreciated. Thanks [/sIZE]
Valid Sintax Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 If I were you, I would run away as fast as I could. He sounds immature and is apparently very wrapped up in the emotional crush of dating someone new. Yes, he likes you, and that's good. But, he also is on an emotional high that not only could produce the "Let's play Barbie online" possibility you mentioned, but also intense jealousy and anger, as he seems to already be displaying some whining. Bottom line: He's not ready for a real relationship, even though he thinks he is. You are already seeing this immaturity and you should leave the relationship ASAP. Be kind to him, but leave him.
Rinas Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 He sounds very insecure, and this could very much lead into a controlling relationship. He's unhappy when you don't focus all your time on him, he's pushing you to meet his parents, he doesn't give you any space. RUN FOR THE HILLS WOMAN!
sleepykitten Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Get out now! take it from me, i went out with someone like this when i was quite emotionally vunerable and fell for all the attention, he also lived with his parents. As soon as he gets you hooked he will change and you'll be crushed if you have developed feelings for him. Also the whole ling with parents thing, past student age, then its a big red NO. He sound like he has major issues.
Ross MwcFan Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Wow, just wow. I think this is more than being immature, I mean, how many young people do you know who behave like this? He's either really desperate, very insecure about being wanted/needed, really lacks social skills, or maybe just a mixture of all 3. I think you should be blunt with him and talk to him about how the way he's being is totally not normal. It will at least help him out with any future dates he has with other women.
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