betterdeal Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 Nick, please eat and drink water. I was diagnosed as severely depressed last May and spent 3 weeks on a mental health ward after a serious suicide attempt, so I know what it's like. Leading up to that, I had just left a very difficult relationship and was malnourished. Malnutrition compounds depression because our brain needs nutrients to work. In particular, you need B vitamins, so add a multivitamin to your diet. You're very depressed. See you doctor about anti-depressants. They can give you the boost you need to start recovering from this. You will get through this. I did and it just took taking it one step at a time. This is a very interesting time in your life and you are about to start a very interesting and life changing journey. Think of it like climbing a mountain: you have to start in the foothills, and it is one step at a time. Have a look at this: http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome it's a really helpful way to start that journey. *fistbump*
Author nick01675 Posted August 9, 2011 Author Posted August 9, 2011 Thanx Betterdeal!! Moodgym training is helping me. My life oscillates between anger and depression, i was going through anger phase yesterday today I'm depressed. Anyways i started accepting that she wont be back and she is not the one for me. I was just worrying what went wrong in the last 6 months. I maintained NC and still didn't get over her!! why?? Just because i stalked her fb profile or i had hopes that she'll come back?? After speaking to her 2 days back my morale went low. Mornings are bad. I skip my breakfast coz i feel really low in the morning. I should start working out. Betterdeal is it good to try anti-depressant?? will i get addicted to it?
betterdeal Posted August 9, 2011 Posted August 9, 2011 Hey, Nick I'm glad to hear mood gym is helping. As the training goes, just set yourself some little goals that are achievable, such as having some breakfast ever day, and praise yourself when you achieve those goals. Even if it's a piece of toast and some juice, it's a start. As for exercise, maybe going for a walk in the morning, or a jog if you're up to it, around the block might be worth making one of your goals. Talk to your doctor about medication. They are much better placed to advise you on the things to consider when you start any medication. I was on Citalopram for 6 months. I felt slightly dependent on it, but it was okay. It gave me the boost I needed to find other ways to improve my mood, such as exercise, therapy, yoga, losing contact with my ex, and reconnecting with old friends and such like. You sound like you're getting stronger, which is good!
Author nick01675 Posted August 9, 2011 Author Posted August 9, 2011 Yeah i'm getting better and stronger. The only thing which is annoying me is that i stay close to her place and i might bump into her like i did last week. I always take that route as there is no other option to reach my office. I have to do this every time, so i was thinking, 1 year down the line i'll still be taking that route and still be thinking of her.
Author nick01675 Posted August 22, 2011 Author Posted August 22, 2011 Hey guys!! I guess i'm healing, i'm not depressed now, if i'm its just for 2 -3 hours. But she is not out of my mind, she pops up every morning, i wake up thinking of her. I'm maintaining strict NC , not stalking her profile, warned my friends not to ask or tel abt her not even her name. I started accepting, moving on. It feels better but some time i feel bad . Will i get better in time?? i need her out of my mind completly. I'm taking a 20 days off and going for a vacation to sydney and singapore alone and getting myself a tattoo.
betterdeal Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 That sounds good to me - enjoy your holiday You might want to consider therapy if you still feel nervous about her, to try and understand when you're still referring to her and build your self-confidence. I've noticed when I'm stressed I do refer to my ex in my mind, so I know what the trigger is - stress. But I know this, which helps me to get out of that mental rut and to refocus on dealing wit the source of stress. Have you considered moving? Being able to put some distance between you can give you the space you need to recover fully.
Author nick01675 Posted August 22, 2011 Author Posted August 22, 2011 moving as in my place?? I can't do that. i just bought a house, moving to a different place will be a great loss for me financially.
betterdeal Posted August 22, 2011 Posted August 22, 2011 I understand. That's not an option then. Try and put your relationship with her behind you. That was then and this is now.
Author nick01675 Posted September 13, 2011 Author Posted September 13, 2011 On a vacation now. Its been 2 weeks, i was doing great , exploring the new place , spending time with my 8 month old nephew, got myself a tattoo. Everything was fine, i was not thinking about her( i was but not as before, just 2 to 3 times in a day ) but today was not the same i started feeling low and depressed . I don't know the reason behind it and there was no trigger it was all of sudden . I kept NC for more than 40 days. I'm in a different country now but, she still haunts me. I'm going back this Sunday and i'm worried it might get even more worse.
Author nick01675 Posted March 24, 2012 Author Posted March 24, 2012 hey guys, Thanks for the support. its been long and i'm back as i'm in trouble again. the old chick is back.. she called me the other day and asked if we could hang out, initially i said no but later decided to meet her. We meet at the usual place and i got to know she has a boy friend and nothings working out and told that she is going to break up with him. she calls me everyday to meet up , i just met her twice a week. After about 2 weeks, she told me that she broke up with her bf and she was Ok with it. She was trying to know if i still had feelings for her(she asked indirect questions) i acted as if i didn't have (actually i still have) as i didn't want to get rejected again, i seriously don't know whats in her mind. Next week she tells tat she got back with her ex and she admitted it was a wrong decision. Now all this is killing me. we meet pretty often, she doesn't hang out with her bf and spends more time with me. she and her bf just meet once in 2 weeks. no much calls or msg between them. I don't know if she is still with this guy didn't ask her though as it make me jealous. I have few chick friend with whom i hang out, she gets super jealous of that she just changes the topic when i talk about them. I don't know what to do. i spend a lot of time with her now. i stayed over at her place last night, don't know where this is leading to. she is considering me as a friend or does she has some feeling for me.
M2155 Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 She is stringing you alomg... She is giving you bits and pieces because she is getting bits and pieces from her boyfriend/ex...whatever he is. Regardless of why she's doing it or what she feels, she isn't interested in giving you what YOU want (or giving you a chance). She came around when she was having doubts about her boyfriend, before breaking up, broke up and got back together only now also has you to hang with as often as she likes? Trust me if she was serious about you, she would not be just comfortably and casually hanging out.
Author nick01675 Posted March 24, 2012 Author Posted March 24, 2012 so whats next? stop all this and start ignoring her? (its hard for me to do that) or tell her what i feel?
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