confused1515 Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 I was dating this guy for about five months. He treated me well, called, never fought all of that. Out of the blue after a long drive he told me he had time to think and that he was ending it. He told me that it was timing, he was sick of living pay check to paycheck, sleeping in, and being out of shape. He told me to call him when I was done hating him. The next day he untagged all but two of our pics together. A week after that he untagged everything, including pics that were just of him but that I posted, re-posted them as his own, and then tagged me in one underneath his own album. i wrote to him and told him that this was hurtful if it was on purpose, he wrote me back saying he was sorry I was hurting, he did not think that I would be hurt by the break up, and that it was stupid for him to do what he did, and that he was pissed that one of my friends had called him mediocre on my fb page. I should preface I have a two degrees, getting a third, a good job, very close network of family and friends. He doesn't have a degree, doesn't apply himself much to his job, and hasn't talked to his family in years, he does have great friends though. At times he would ask me if this bothered him, as to which I would reply, obviously not because I am with you. A week after that he posted sappy love lyrics on his facebook, I texted him that night because I wanted to share an achievement I recently received that he was very admit about me pursuing. He never wrote back, so I and very drunk and stupidly wrote him that apparently we couldn't be friends because he didn't even have the decency to write me back. He responded to me at six in the morning that he was sleeping and he was glad things were going well but clearly we can't be friends but he would like that to happen. Now I hear through the grape vine he might be hanging out with someone 7 years his junior. I am just confused, I have never had a break up like this...just want to be done with this whole thing...any insights as to what may have happened? Did he even care or did I just get massively played?
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 well it lasted for 5 months so he had to care at least for a little while. But he said he had time to think so I'd assume the honeymoon period ended for him and he just lost attraction for you. It hurts yes and unfortunately that's just how it works sometimes.
thelovingkind Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 Yeah I think he cared, but his feelings ran dry. Has happened to most of us at some stage. There's just no guarantee that someone who has feelings for you for three weeks will have feelings for you in three months, that someone who has feelings for you for three months will have feelings for you in three years, and sadly that someone who has feelings for you for three years will have feelings for you in thirty years. Read this guy's post and the thread, it will help you make sense of things: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=287436 It describes exactly what I think your ex went through from the standpoint of someone who's been on both sides of the "flip switch". He'd also been with his ex for around 6 months.
Author confused1515 Posted July 18, 2011 Author Posted July 18, 2011 wow, that really was a good post, very insightful. I agree with everything they said, it is hard. I also wonder though, if perhaps, and I didn't add this when I probably should have, that I have a disease not contagious by any means that causes me to lose my hair, and I have a never ending thyroid battle, perhaps that as well just contributed to much stress to have a relationship?
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 wow, that really was a good post, very insightful. I agree with everything they said, it is hard. I also wonder though, if perhaps, and I didn't add this when I probably should have, that I have a disease not contagious by any means that causes me to lose my hair, and I have a never ending thyroid battle, perhaps that as well just contributed to much stress to have a relationship? I can see that adding stress to the relationship but if this guy left you just for that reason he isn't worth it. Eventually you'll find the right guy that will accept you for who you are... all of your strengths as well as flaws and he will love all of them because that's what makes you, you.
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