xxmcvapourxx Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 i was with my ex girlfriend for 6 year's i loved her and i miss her so much i did a terrible thing few days before xmas eve last year. i had moved in with her and her mate last jan, everything was ok for 6 months short story then it went down hill everynite was always drinking we had people come over i had to get up early and so did my girlfriend i used to wake up at 6am and they still be up drinking i went mental at her and walked out went to work she texted me during the day saying are you ok? my silly mistake in a bad mood text back saying you will find out never heard anything all day i had thought about this allday about moving out back to my parents so as i finshed work i spoke to my mate who reminded me how depressed he seen me i used to go down devon to clear my mind (fishing) i come back and it made me feel nuthing had happened.so i was walking down my road and i went into my local shop to get a box i was so angry with my self i walked into the house my girlfriend was cooking dinner and i started packing everything and she asked me what i was doing.me i said some stupid words like i dont want to speak to you or her mate ever again im getting out of this hell hole and i left the house.so 7 months on ive been in a bad state getting depressed everyday i have begged my x forgiveness and all i have done is pushed her away its killing my mind she has told me to move on but i cant just throw away 6 years of happyness neither can she but she has .i owe her some money and i have been paying her back every month she recently passed her driving test so i sent her flower's to congratulate her and she said thank you.i have asked her out for a drink as friend's but she doesnt want to she always says there's nothing to talk about.so i payed her on the 28th of june and i said i leave her alone its been 4 weeks now and its been killing me.i have been councilling tried to go out i have only one mate cause all my mates was her mates and he settled down im shy guy and i have tried dating website's but have had no replys.i dont know what else i can do.i have given all my energy and power to try get her back the first thing i did was to say sorry.i understand she hates me way i treated her.i have researched the internet to try win her back atm im doing a no contact but its killing my heart i feel so drained no sleeping well all i keep doing is thinking about her i have tried to not think about her.
Kilty Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 Sorry to hear about your situation but i am afraid from what you have said it's over. She has told you to move on so unfortunately she cant be any more clearer. 7 months is a long time and she will have probably disconnected and moved on by now. Her opinion of you after what you did is probably quite low as well so nothing you do or say will likely make any difference - as you have seen from your attempts. I dont know what your attempts have been and how needy and desperate you have been and/or whether you have freaked her out by this stage. What you really should be looking into is why you behaved the way you did because your actions do not come across as someone that was in love with this girl. Whether or not the 6 months you spent together spiralled into you losing feelings you had for her or not - the fact that she wanted to talk about it and you didnt says quite a bit. If you had been angry or upset then thats normal but it should have been reconciled within a couple of days after the fight. Running away from it suggests deep down she didnt really mean that much to you although you are having regrets now. It is probably best for your own sanity that you go strictly no contact from now on as any further rejection is going to make your depression worse. However as you were technically the dumper - altough the roles have now been reversed - you have one slender/slim chance but if you have used it already then give up. That chance is sending this girl an honest letter of how you feel and how sorry you are without coming across as needy or even more desperate than you already have appeared to her. You are not at the stage where she has told you not to contact her again and that is the only reason i suggest this otherwise do not do it. The only motive of this letter is to apologise, get her to meet with you and talk - and even if that is successful there is the possibility that meeting will make you feel even worse afterwards. And once you have sent the letter - you do not go looking for a reply or asking if she has read it. You let it go and move on with your life in no doubt that there is no going back.
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