Did I do the right thing?? :(

[Hondaek47]

Hey I'm new to this and here's my 1st post

 

I'm gonna break it down a little cause 5 yrs is alot just wanna get down to the topic

 

So I was in a relationship for 5 years with a wonderful girl she was everything I looked for in a girl....... I just turned 17 and she was 19 when we 1st started going out.....I fell in love when I 1st kissed her man her lips felt so good against mine (but I didn't tell her I fell in love with her right there and then had to really make sure it was love lol)....I was young and hurt her alot just dumb stuff I would do I would lie to her about the dumbest things ever she always ended up finding out so I say when I turned 19 that's when I started treating her good got a job started to take her out as much as I could my job started giving me more hours so we were hardly going out she gave me such a hard time i worked weekends and she didn't so we would fight about that.....so now I'm 21 we had our own apartment and everything I loved living with her who wouldn't want to live with the love of their life! Yeah we would fight here and there but I still had alot of love for her.....this is where it starts to fall apart on Christmas eve me and my uncle got into a fight like (throwing blows to the head) kind of fight and my mom was there......ok so that happen my mom and my uncle are married like my dads brother is married to my mom (don't ask it's crazy as hell to me).....that happen so my mom left him and told me if I can move in with her to help her out with the bills I said yeah that's cool my gf was pissed at me but she got over it.........so now were living with my mom everything is good I couldn't be happier with my gf then it all ended....I ended up seeing my mom at a mcdonlds *meeting up with my uncle the one I got into a fight with...I WAS SOO MAD!!!!! I called her and told her what she was doing she came up with a lie so I told her I seen her and she came up with another lie by that time I was so angry so everyday after that I started to build anger against my mom so that made it hard on my relationship with my gf it just ate me up inside that she did that I gave up my apartment to help her I fought with my gf because she needed help....... So everyday I started to get more and more depressed living in her house I had to get out I would tell my gf "we got to save money to get the hell out of here"!......I stopped being myself I wasn't doing my part in the relationship I bought anger into my relationship so one day I was mad..... me and my gf started fighting she started telling me about my mom so I got mad...I told her my mom is messed up but she's still my mom so I yelled at her and told her not to talk to me about my mom.....I told her to move back with her mom b4 she starts hating me she said if she moved back with her mom its over so I walked away and she was crying so hard for me not to go but I didn't want to cry with her so I walked away......she moved out that day man I was so heart broken that wasn't how I wanted it to end I love her so much....I wanted us to still be together while I get myself back on my feet I build so much anger inside of me I felt betrayed *by my mom....I wanted my ex to understand I did what I did for us so I wouldn't *say more things to hurt her I guess she doesn't see how much I love her I feel so lost without her she means the world to me! I'm hurting alot right now I lost my gf my best friend it sucks I miss her so much!!!!!!

 

It feels good letting all this out

If your reading thank you

I hope to hear good advice cause I really need it

[wilsonx]

I do not think there is anything wrong with you defending your mom. Obviously shes important to you and your ex was trying to change you. I actually applaud you for sticking to your guns and defending your family and protecting your personal boundary with your family. You know it hurts but you showed a lot of character in standing up for yourself when you could have caved and gave in to your ex. This is not your fault, this was her decision and while it hurts and will hurt for a while, you walk away with your dignity that you stood up for your family in the relationship.

 

As far as your problems with your mom goes, you can not control her decisions and what she chooses to do with her life. If she wants to date someone that you do not approve of, thats her choice in life and you should be more supportive of her instead of getting angry at her. As you can see getting angry and holding resentment are not the best things to do especially for something you can not control and if it bothers you, its probably best to separate yourself from her for a little while until you can come to the understanding that its really her decision on what she chooses to do.

 

Use this forum to help you cope with ending of the long term relationship, ask questions search and I promise you, things will get better in time

 

Good luck =)

[Hondaek47]

Thanx Wilson for taking the time to read my post....it helped alot....