DantaX Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 My ex boyfriend and I met at work. He is a security guard at the nightclub I work at. We met when we both had other partners, and I was introduced to him on my first night of working at that club. We shared a moment, one in which intense eye contact was shared and sparks flew instantly. Our attraction was purely sexual and what progressed after we both became single wasn't chemistry sparks, but a decent into the flames of hell. He became everything to me, yet being from such different cultural backgrounds we were doomed from the start. His insecurities started to show in the sense of him wanting me to change my ways of handling situations. The nightclub scene slowly drained the life of us as we fought every single time a shift ended. "why did you smile when you poured that drink for that guy" "why didn't you move away fast enough when he started to talk to you" "cover your ass if you leave the bar" "you do not respect me and this relationship as much as I do" constant drama. I made mistakes sure, but I did my best to make him feel secure. It was never enough. He was aggressive and scary and extremely insecure. My personality went from outgoing and friendly to Rude, standoffish and aggressive in the space of a year and a half. I sacrificed myself and my opinions because I wanted us to work and I wanted peace for us. I tried so hard but just wasn't enough. He broke up with me because of his resentment and holding a grudge towards me over a stupid incident that happened at work a year and a half ago. I said why didn't you tell me your feelings, he answered with "I bottled it and forced it away" honestly I have never cheated. I considered my boyfriend in my every action and my rationality was never the same as his. I didn't handle other guys aggressively enough. When according to him he had to be THE ONLY MALE WHO MATTERS. In the aftermath I feel horrible. We broke up and he tells me after that I was the best gf he ever had and that I made him feel the most secure. Which contradicts the months of unhappiness hes expressed in regards to my actions. I doubt my ability to handle myself now because of his constant need to criticize me and it was only in regards to other males. It's been two days of no contact and tonight I need to work with him for the first time. I don't know what to do. Wether to politely say hello when I walk past him when I arrive as he is the doorman. Or ignore him completely. I just want to be prepared. I have to be careful I will cry. I loved him.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 you'll want to have a professional relationship with him while at work. say hi when you walk by and only talk about work related stuff. Do NC while you are not working. This is LC (limited contact) and it will not work as well as full force NC but it's better than having arguments and emotional breakdowns while working. Expect your healing process to be longer because you can't go NC, But I have faith that you will eventually heal and move on. And come here whenever you need to vent or have any other questions.
Author DantaX Posted July 16, 2011 Author Posted July 16, 2011 Your right. Thankyou, I appreciate the advice. I will keep it professional. Thanks.
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