TaintedHeart Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Have you let yourself go since your break up? I have no desire to make myself feel or look good, I feel like I have nobody to impress now. I have really let myself go, I don't care what I look like. This is pretty random I know. Just wondering if anyone else felt this way.
amethyste Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 After my initial break up occured, I somehow disconnected myself from the outside world. I used to break down crying in public without giving a damn that people were looking at me; I almost got hit by a trolleybus and by two cars; I used to get lost on the streets; I wasn't paying attention to my looks - I was extremely disoriented. But now? Not anymore. I invest a lot of money & time in my look. Actually, I think this is pretty therapeutic.
livy07 Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 After my worst breakup ever, I lost 14 pounds, no appetite, slept all the time, nearly lost my job. I would cry on the drive to class and then wipe away the tears when I pulled up, go inside and give a 30-minute lecture to college freshmen. It was the darkest time of my life and I have so many regrets about the things I allowed to happen (in the end, we are all responsible for the way we let someone else treat us). However, I DO think this is something you have to experience for yourself before you will learn to overcome it. I can tell you all day to go take a shower, eat something, and cheer the **** up, but it simply won't work. To you, your world is over, your love is gone, and life will never be good again. That is NOT the case. But you don't know that yet. So just keep on keepin' on and know that it gets easier with time.
geegirl Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 I used to be that way. Didn't care about my appearance. There were days I couldn't even wash my hair and would keep it in a ponytail. Nails looked bad. Was not eating right. Didn't even care to put mascara on. Sweatshirt and old jeans. Crying in the grocery store while picking out peanut butter. Fast food everyday. Dirty apartment. Everything was at its worse. Fast forward few months later -- I've been hitting the gym. Love the way my arms and legs are toning up. Hair is always done. Love getting dressed and looking good. Eating right. Looking good on the outside also helps you feel good on the inside. It's a confidence booster. You will get there. It's the normal process of getting over a break up. You're focused on what just happened but as that fades away your attention will start to turn around and you'll soon want to start feeling good again as those bad feelings slowly diminish. Your priorities will change and you will start to focus on you again.
radiodarcy Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 definitely. in the first few months of NC it was dead of winter outside. i would run errands in my pajamas; i rarely if ever showered and wore a hat everywhere i went except for work. honestly though, i've always been pretty low maintenance. i hate getting dressed up and putting on make up (which i'm allergic to anyway). it's too much of a hassle. so while i am feeling better i'm not going all out on my appearance. i just make sure i shower daily. lol.
Author TaintedHeart Posted July 15, 2011 Author Posted July 15, 2011 Thanks girls x Just had a shower. Mother: 'Feel better?' 'A hot shower always makes you feel better' Me: 'Erm, no, not really'. I wish a shower could wash away the pain. Having a shower took all of my energy! This isn't good!
ShatteredDreams Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 I gained about 100 pounds during the very stressful relationship with my ex who shows all signs of BPD. I gave her all my days from morning until midnight, had no time to work out or for myself. Then she told me she loved me less because of my weight gain, and I started eating uncontrollably because of stress. I used to be an active health nut before all this. Then she broke up with me, and after 3 attempted suicides, 1 very close encounter with death, drinking, smoking, not caring about the way I look, I looked like total hell. I showered every other day, or sometimes skipped 2 days, didnt fix my hair, didn't shave, etc. I looked like a hobo. But after the close encounter with death, I started taking care of myself again and I feel good. Started hitting the gym, eat healthy, take care of my looks, get haircuts every 2 weeks, etc. Now I feel a lot better than I initially did. Like a lot of people say on here, "Love yourself first."
RodG Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 I let myself go when I was with her. Now I've started working out again, working a lot more and eating better. The one thing on my mind is: If I ever get the chance to tell her, or show her how friggin' fit I am now, and how my style is so much better...I'll rub it all up in her face. How I hope she stays out of shape and keeps eating chocolate by the pound. Mwahahaha. Just my motivation.
lonelynyc Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 I was letting myself go during my relationship. When our relationship started to go downhill I sensed its impending doom and found solace in food. The first several days of the break up I didn't even have an appetite... I barely ate a thing without feeling the need to throw up. Since then I have dived headlong into physical activities, especially competitive ones. I find it a productive way to channel aggression and all the emotions constantly overtaking me. For instance, I played pick-up basketball all day last Saturday/Sunday. At a certain point you need to keep yourself occupied and feel alive again, even if you're still hurting. This weekend I might hit the salsa clubs and do my Puerto Rican Day Parade thing--if you feel like all the passion has been sucked out of your life, you need to recreate it whenever you can, even if it only lasts briefly.
Recommended Posts