alphamale Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 Let's look on the bright side for a while. What have you learned from your relationship(s)? that actions speak much louder than words...
wilsonx Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 that actions speak much louder than words... for men yes! stop talking and start doing
thelovingkind Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 1) Relationships bring out good qualities in me, but ultimately I will always be the person that I went into the relationship being. If I felt listless, insecure, suffering from low self-esteem and lacking in direction in life before meeting someone, this is exactly what will emerge once again after the first flush of infatuation has died away. When I’m single I need to work on being the kind of person I want to be in a relationship, not simply “exist” in downtime and hope that a new love will give me direction and purpose. 2) A relationship is primarily a space to share life’s events with someone. It is the vehicle, not the object. The best relationships don’t need to be managed, worked on, fixed or mulled over endlessly in the first two years. This is a time for relaxing and getting to know each other, before big challenges set in further down the line. If there are big challenges with day-to-day living during this time, it is a major red flag, not an opportunity to try and rise to the occasion and prove how “good at relationships” I am. 3) Nobody I want to be with really needs vast amounts of “space” in a relationship. If someone’s behaviour changes dramatically and they no longer seem that interested in seeing me, this means one of two things. Either a) they are no longer interested in seeing me or b) they are interested in the kind of relationship where two people occasionally touch base rather than share in the richness of everyday life. Since neither meets my desires, someone pulling away is my cue to bring that relationship to a close.
Sugarkane Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 It doesn't matter how much you trust someone, if a 'better deal' comes along they'll take it. So true unfortunately
Sugarkane Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 1) Just because someone's friends with their exes doesn't mean a thing. Doesn't mean that they won't dump you by text completely out of the blue. 2) Never fall for the "I miss you, I've made a mistake, lets meet up". Its completely utter crap. Second chances are BS. 3) If their friends say their selfish, BELIEVE THEM! 4) Don't date someone who's only had flings before. Massive red flag there. 5) The person you love knows how to hurt you the most.
Author amethyste Posted July 16, 2011 Author Posted July 16, 2011 I woke up a while ago and checked your replies. Interesting read! I don't think I have anything to add, because I agree with all of you. TY!
nana841121 Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 I agree, this relationship was the first time Ive ever failed all of the above. I lost #1 and #2 a long time ago and #3 went down the toilet recently. I actually just printed out your post put it on my wall and in my journal... You are spot on i did the same thing. wise words.
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