PolskaCommander Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 I've been dating a girl for about 4 months and 2 weeks now and we're both going to be high school seniors. It's been a serious relationship and I'm considering ending the relationship within the next few weeks before we go to college next summer. Here is why... I want to be a doctor in the future. I'll most likely be going to a college with rigorous academics and I need to focus on that, and not worry about caring for my girlfriend, and even during medical school if I can get in. It wouldn't be a good idea to date for nearly a year and half, and then right before college or during it the first few months, I break up with her. THAT will really have more of an impact than if I would break up with her now. I love her, and she loves me, but it wouldn't be smart later to screw her over by breaking up at the end of senior year of high school. It's tough on me to think about this and consider it. But by planning to go to medical school, I need to devote my college career towards this significant goal since I'll arguably be working harder than others. I can't have any distractions and worry about a relationship during college. We'll most likely be a couple of hours away from each other anyway. Although no matter when we'd break up, she'll be very angry and her family would dislike me, but it wouldn't be as bad of a break up now than later. I love her, I can get over it eventually, and most importantly, it'd be better for the both of us. Just like most high school couples, it's for the best to split before college, even though it hurts so much. What do you think? Thanks!
KathyM Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 I think it's a good plan to split up with her after graduation. You are going to be extremely busy with your studies and you are wise not to want a distraction that a girlfriend would create. There's plenty of time for that later on in life, and you'll be a great catch when you become a doctor. Your school work should be your top priority at this stage in your life. But it might be a good idea to remain friends and send her a nice Email once in a while and maybe get together when you are in town as friends. You might be able to pick it up later with her if you stay in contact with her, who knows? But I think you are on the right track in wanting to break off the relationship status right after high school graduation. Just be sure to let her know it's because of your studies and how you need to focus all your attention on your studies right now.
TaurusTerp Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 I'm a 3rd year resident right now, so take it from me: Academics aren't everything. You'll need a balanced life to get into a good medical school. And there's always the "I'll be busy" excuse in this line of work. When you're in college, you'll need to get into medical school. When you're in medical school, you'll need to match into a good residency. When you're in residency, you want an attending spot wherever. It never ends. Learn to juggle your time properly and you'll have plenty of time for relationships as well as studying and extracurriculars. And frankly, your relationship isn't likely to last a year and a half. If it does, cross that bridge when you have to.
KathyM Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 I don't think long distance relationships work (and 2 hours is a long distance relationship when you have a very demanding study schedule). I don't see it as feasible to try to drive four hours a day (2 there, and 2 back) a couple of times a week in order to keep the relationship going. He's not going to have time. Maybe seeing someone at the same college would work, and I do agree with the poster above that a balanced life is a good idea. But your studies are the most important thing right now. Don't lose sight of that.
oaks Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Just like most high school couples, it's for the best to split before college, even though it hurts so much. What do you think? Thanks! Wanting to split with her because you feel you need to focus on your future studies is silly. Yes, of course you need to focus on them, but it will also be useful to have the support of a loving partner. Having said that, if she's going to a different college then splitting up (at some point) might be pragmatic. Long distance relationships are hard work. Don't just dump her out of the blue. She knows that college is coming up, too, so talk to her about it.
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