pontellier Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 I have always wanted to find a man who, along with the stereotypical laundry list of requirements, is masculine, yet romantic; intellectually challenging, yet lacking in pretension; cultured, yet grounded; sensitive and strong; responsible with a touch of recklessness--a practical idealist. I have been on a lot of first, second and third dates over the past couple of years--none of which have culminated in anything long-lasting or remarkably special. This discouragement, coupled with my need to concentrate on getting the most out of graduate school, led me to temporarily give up on what seemed to be the priority focus of my mid-twenties: finding my life-partner and best friend. And then I met him. It wasn't supposed to mean anything. As a matter of fact, he was supposed to be a one night stand--something frivolous and someone whom I could forget about the next day. In one conversation, I realized he seemed to be all of the things I had given up searching for. We clicked immediately. The chemistry is unparalleled to anything I have experienced--a perfect mixture of the occasional nauseating butterflies juxtaposed with the invaluable feeling of comfort and confidence in knowing that this is something real and not merely a lustful illusion. The past three weeks have been a whirlwind and we have been inseparable since that first night together. While neither of us are naive enough to claim that what we have now is love, we both feel that love will be in the cards for us in the future. But as with any story that always seems too good to be true, there is always a silver-lining. With us, there is an 11 year age difference (I am 27 and he is 38) and although the number itself is meaningless, there is a very obvious disconnect in our level of life experience. He has been separated from his wife for two years and is about to finalize his divorce. His wife and young son live abroad and he came back to the States after they separated. He is in what seems to be a limbo--he knows that in his heart he does not want to go back and live abroad, but feels the pull of fatherly responsibility to sacrifice his own desires to be there for his son everyday. This reason in itself is why he was dead-set on not getting into something serious. And then we happened. We both seem to be the exceptions to our own respective rules. This could really go somewhere. This could really be something amazing and real. But on my side of things, this is something that is covered in yellow caution tape and surrounded by flashing lights. Had this been any other man, I feel that I would have been running away as fast as I possibly could. But something is keeping me standing still and hoping that the outcome of my story--our story-- will be the exception to the classic predictable outcome to those many stories exactly like ours.
Author pontellier Posted July 15, 2011 Author Posted July 15, 2011 Abroad?? Oh, yes...I would love to. I've always dreamed about living somewhere else...especially Germany (where he has been living). The romantic side of me says "YES YES," but the practical side of me (who will be nearly 100K in debt after graduate school and who will have a very hard time finding work there) is very hesitant.
Recommended Posts