break up story. any thoughts??

[fenderfreak983]

Please read: this may be long. Hi I am a 22 year old male and recently broke up with my girlfriend about 11 days ago. We dated seriously for about 15 months and she was my second really serious girlfriend. We were crazy about each other and still are, but the problem is, I am her first real boyfriend and first love. We talked about a future together but it never got too out of hand. The connection we have together is awesome and all of our friends know that too.

 

So, this summer was going great for us. We both go to school together and conveniently live 20 minutes apart. We went on vacation a couple months ago and it was great. I can't think of any big problems in our relationship. Until a few weeks ago my girlfriend goes to a party without me (even though she wanted me to go I didn't end up going). She gets completely drunk and makes out with a close guy friend of hers. She calls me the next day and tells me she feels horrible and was shaking all day at work. I understood because I had a similar problem with a girl while I was with my girlfriend. But for the next few days we were off. We still had that sexual connection but things were definitely different. So, 3 days later we are at her house and she starts talking about how she is confused about what she wants. Keep in mind we were great all summer. I saw no clues of her wanting out of our relationship. She told me that her making out with her guy friend had really shocked her and got her thinking. Maybe she had some feelings for him? She had some before but they've always been friends and never made a move on each other even when the were both single. So, I talked about us taking a breaking for her to figure things out (I know bad idea) and she agreed even though she cried and cried. She continued to be all over me the rest of the night. And couldn't stop kissing me when she dropped me off at my house. That's the night we went on a break.

 

She called me 4 days later and we talked a lot. But she told me that she got blackout drunk again 2 days after the break and slept with a guy (the type of guy who takes advantage of girls). She told me again she totally regretted what she did. And told me she was way too drunk and emotional and about us. I was a little pissed inside but I honestly believed her. She has always been very honest with me as far as I know. She isnt' a bull****ter. So, everything she's said lately I've tried to believe. I also thought it was a good sign that she was up front with me about her mistakes during our break. Stupidly, it was a break with no rules so I couldn't get that mad.

 

So a little more than a week goes by and I only texted her a little one night when I was drunk (nothing too bad but still bad idea). She hadn't said a word to me at all. Then I decide that eve tho it hasn't been that long that I was going to break up with her. I didn't want to be led on even tho I wanted her back more than anything. It seemed like the right decision. And I did it over the phone for many reasons. We had talked about meeting in person but I felt it would complicate things since last time we couldnt keep our hands off each other. She even stated that she was avoiding all confrontation with me to not complicate things too. She was very said and I did a good job about being strong during the break up conversation.

 

Since the break up it has been 11 days and she has barely said anything to me. I screwed up a few more times when I was drinking but feel like I patched things over and haven't made too many mistakes with her. And if I leave alone for a while I think I should be fine. She told me in our last texting conversation that she loves me a lot and misses me. Also that shes not going anywhere and anytime I want to meet up she wants to..wtf she is so confusing. She told me she can definitely see herself being with me but she needs time to be single. I can honestly see where she's coming from. She must feel pressure being with someone for so long that she loves so much and can see herself being with for good. And I'm her first love. So this break up is very good for both of us. But then again I may be wrong with all this.

 

Now I am moving on and bettering myself and having fun before we go back to college in the fall. My ex girlfriend left it off thru text that she would contact me in a few weeks to meet up. I don't know what to expect from her anymore. I honestly have never felt as strong a connection with any girl before. I know I am young but I want to get this girl back even tho I broke up with her. She seems impossible. Goes from being all over me and so into me to this girl who has barely said a word to me during this process. The only time she has really opened up besides once is when I initiate the conversations.

 

So, I feel like I'm in a good position to get her back but I am so impatient now. She obviously still loves me a lot and misses me even tho she won't initiate conversations much. She said she's not going anywhere and we can meet up whenever. Ideally I hope she caves in and wants to see me. That's why I'm going to have nothing to do with her for a while now. But she hasn't caved yet. She's handling this break up very well as far as I know. Even tho female friends of mine have told me that inside she probably isn't doing too well. I thought breaking up with her completely would show that she can't sting me along all summer and get her to want me back even more.

 

Thanks for reading my rant. If you can relate to this or have advice for me, please respond. I've gone thru this before, it's really hard. But this time it seems much more real. I love this girl so much and want to rekindle that connection we had just 3 weeks ago. I know she needs time and that's what I'm going to give her. And in the meantime I am going to try to move on (even tho I want her back eventually) and be the best I can be.

 

Any response is very appreciated. Thanks!

[GiselleDiann]

A girl that cannot control her alcohol intake and gets so drunk that she kisses other men and has sex with them is not the kind of girl you should be having a serious relationship with. I know you care about her a lot and you want her in your life but you will be better off in the end if you cut ties with her now.