Was the man, now the other man

[Jobi]

Hello all,

 

I'm new to these forums, I came here to get some advice on a certain issue I've been having.

 

I've been in love with a girl since we were both very, when we were about 13 years old we started long distance relationship that was based largely on physical intimacy. We didn't really agree to be exclusive as she was dating some other guys at her high school while I decided to keep myself for her. I did all this under the pretense that we would start dating once we graduated high school. Well about a week before we graduated she let slip that she didn't want to start a relationship with me as her love for me was more like family.

 

We still went to the same college where we continued to be physically intimate on and off, all the while she started a relationship with a guy without telling me, dated my roommate (we remained platonic till they broke up), and finally found a man she considered to be the one. Well during this relationship we continued to fall into physical intimacy. She's even coming over next week and based on our flirting something is bound to happen. I love being with her so much, sex or no sex, that I can't say no even though I realize this relationship is about as toxic as they get.

 

At this point I'm wondering if there's still a chance she loves me more than just a brother or good friend since she keeps coming back to me, maybe it's because I'm safe but I can't help but feel there's something more to it.

 

Please share any comments, advice, or even similar stories you have. I'd love to hear anything anyone has to share.

 

Thanks,

 

-Jobi

[skywriter]

Hi Jobi,

 

 

I'm sorry, but from the story you've told, it sounds like you're a habit. She knows how you feel about her and so she continues on the same pattern.

 

If she loved you the way you love her, she wouldn't be seeing other guys.

It's cruel of her to string you along, even if you didn't agree to be exclusive. You need to salvage some dignity here and stop sleeping with her.

 

If you don't wait on the sidelines,& stop being available, maybe you can get the answers you need. Either way, it'll make the reality a bit easier to accept. Good luck.

[OldOnTheInside]

You are not supposed to love your FWB person.

 

In my case I could not have a FWB because I would fall in love.

 

Try not to love her and you will feel better. She does not love you, she only uses you. She seems to be a cake eater.

 

Agreed.

 

You're a walking penis in her eyes. With a bit of ego-stroking on the side maybe. That's about it.

 

I realize this relationship is about as toxic as they get.

 

Your choice to drink the hemlock...

[waytogo]

Hello all,

 

I'm new to these forums, I came here to get some advice on a certain issue I've been having.

 

I've been in love with a girl since we were both very, when we were about 13 years old we started long distance relationship that was based largely on physical intimacy. We didn't really agree to be exclusive as she was dating some other guys at her high school while I decided to keep myself for her. I did all this under the pretense that we would start dating once we graduated high school. Well about a week before we graduated she let slip that she didn't want to start a relationship with me as her love for me was more like family.

 

We still went to the same college where we continued to be physically intimate on and off, all the while she started a relationship with a guy without telling me, dated my roommate (we remained platonic till they broke up), and finally found a man she considered to be the one. Well during this relationship we continued to fall into physical intimacy. She's even coming over next week and based on our flirting something is bound to happen. I love being with her so much, sex or no sex, that I can't say no even though I realize this relationship is about as toxic as they get.

 

At this point I'm wondering if there's still a chance she loves me more than just a brother or good friend since she keeps coming back to me, maybe it's because I'm safe but I can't help but feel there's something more to it.

 

Please share any comments, advice, or even similar stories you have. I'd love to hear anything anyone has to share.

 

Thanks,

 

-Jobi

 

 

So sorry Jobi, you are an ego boost to her.

If possible, cancel her trip to spend time with you. You don't have something more important to her? She's learned to count on that. Who's this 'one' for her. Where is he?

 

If you are just going to have her come to your home anyway, get what you want, not emotionally as that won't happen. Whatever you do, do not treat her as a princess as if treating her great is going to sway you to her, it won't. It will just reinforce you'll build her ego, host her and beg her back to further treat you like crap.

 

If I were going to bet $, she'd never pick a guy that treats her like gold. She treats you the way she expects to be treated. So far, you have been quite an outlet for her. You've never been respected by her.

[fooled once]

Hi Jobi,

 

 

I'm sorry, but from the story you've told, it sounds like you're a habit. She knows how you feel about her and so she continues on the same pattern.

 

If she loved you the way you love her, she wouldn't be seeing other guys.

It's cruel of her to string you along, even if you didn't agree to be exclusive. You need to salvage some dignity here and stop sleeping with her.

 

If you don't wait on the sidelines,& stop being available, maybe you can get the answers you need. Either way, it'll make the reality a bit easier to accept. Good luck.

 

I agree.

 

You are just the convenient penis until the next penis comes along.

 

She doesn't love you. If she had any real feelings for you, she wouldn't just use you until someone else comes along.

 

Have more respect for yourself - tell her to get a BoB