magnetic123 Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Hi guys, I have a *serious* problem. Well, serious for me, perhaps silly for others. Anyway, I'm 17 and I never really had a boyfriend. My friends tell me I'm pretty (though I don't really believe them since they're my friends, of course they would say that) but I don't know, I just consider myself decent. So, the problem isn't really with how I look. I'm scared, absolutely terrified about the idea of dating a guy. And since a certain time, my friend has been trying to match me up with a guy she knows. We went on a few dates and he is really nice, a real gentleman, he respects me, always tells me so...But he wants more, he wants to go out with me and frankly, if I had to choose the ideal of a first boyfriend, it would probably be him. But again I am so scared. He tried to kiss me and I completely freaked out (yes, I've never even kissed before...), I thought I was going to faint and just turned my head and walked away to the other side of the park. And he loves to cuddle...as in put his arm around me, play with my hair...and it makes me really nervous. Last week he invited me to the restaurant and I couldn't stand it anymore, I told him I was sick and left in the middle of the dinner because I was too scared to be with him. I'm terrified at the idea of being with someone, kissing etc.. He's sweet and all and I like him as a friend...but only as a friend. And I am too scared to tell him that. Please don't tell me : tell him the truth. I've tried so many times ! It doesn't come out and I feel like I'm forcing myself into something I don't want. And I don't like guys my age...I have "strange" tastes. I like classical music, I don't listen to the radio, I don't really wear make up or do anything with my hair like the other girls...I'm at ease with men that are way older than me (as in 40-and older) and I know it's sick and strange...But I just can't force myself into liking the "boys".... I feel like I might never tell him what I really think of this "dating" idea...It has become a little stupid game in which I always avoid his touch and, god forbid, lips. If he asks me out I think I will be too freaked out to say no and then I'll be stuck...I really don't know what to do ....
prosense Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 awww. well, maybe you feel offended by my statement, but you sound so cute. Well, I am a guy and I think if I were the guy, I would be very much frustrated. And yet, he has been treating you with nothing but respect. You need to respect that- Although I don't want you to talk about the sources of your trepidation, I would say this. Why don't you write a letter to him? You can bascially paraphrase what you just wrote above... Well, of course, you need to leave some of it out, but I think what you wrote is very candid and down-to-earth. You said, to you, he is just a friend. So tell him that. Don't talk about never been kissed before or anything, but just be honest and respectful. Don't be 'too' apologetic. but you need to address why you left him in the middle of dinner before. You can sort things out by writing down your thought and emotions. It sounds like he is decent enough to understand what you want to say to him. Meet him, talk to him a bit and give'me the letter, I'd say. If you are too scared to confront him, then email him.. turning down, I think, should be personal.
jymie10 Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 oh im sorry you feel that but when u let someone into your heart it can be grate and it could fil something you never new had to be filled,but i also dont blame you for being afraid i just recentley started dating again because of a diffrent boy so they can be crul to you but this guy sounds so sweet and wouldent hurt you intetioly so dont be afraid if it feels right be with him if i dosent then dont be and tell him how u feel about datting if he acctuly cares about you then he'll understand
sakib Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Hi guys, I have a *serious* problem. Well, serious for me, perhaps silly for others. Anyway, I'm 17 and I never really had a boyfriend. My friends tell me I'm pretty (though I don't really believe them since they're my friends, of course they would say that) but I don't know, I just consider myself decent. So, the problem isn't really with how I look. I'm scared, absolutely terrified about the idea of dating a guy. And since a certain time, my friend has been trying to match me up with a guy she knows. We went on a few dates and he is really nice, a real gentleman, he respects me, always tells me so...But he wants more, he wants to go out with me and frankly, if I had to choose the ideal of a first boyfriend, it would probably be him. But again I am so scared. He tried to kiss me and I completely freaked out (yes, I've never even kissed before...), I thought I was going to faint and just turned my head and walked away to the other side of the park. And he loves to cuddle...as in put his arm around me, play with my hair...and it makes me really nervous. Last week he invited me to the restaurant and I couldn't stand it anymore, I told him I was sick and left in the middle of the dinner because I was too scared to be with him. I'm terrified at the idea of being with someone, kissing etc.. He's sweet and all and I like him as a friend...but only as a friend. And I am too scared to tell him that. Please don't tell me : tell him the truth. I've tried so many times ! It doesn't come out and I feel like I'm forcing myself into something I don't want. And I don't like guys my age...I have "strange" tastes. I like classical music, I don't listen to the radio, I don't really wear make up or do anything with my hair like the other girls...I'm at ease with men that are way older than me (as in 40-and older) and I know it's sick and strange...But I just can't force myself into liking the "boys".... I feel like I might never tell him what I really think of this "dating" idea...It has become a little stupid game in which I always avoid his touch and, god forbid, lips. If he asks me out I think I will be too freaked out to say no and then I'll be stuck...I really don't know what to do .... Looking for love? Cupid can help! Cupid.com
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