Stupid Girl Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I don't know if you guys remember me posting about this, but I got a voicemail from my ex(?)'s mom a little while ago, because she was worried over his running away/living in a hotel/not having a job situation. She's now started emailing me as well, out of what seems like genuine concern for him. Upon reading her first email, I could tell she was upset and distraught. I started to write a reply saying I hadn't spoken to him in over a week, but thought again and decided to make the effort to give him a call, just so I could tell her I tried. Now, the only reason I thought to try this is I was almost certain his phone would be dead. It was almost dead last time I saw him, and I have the only charger. So I could at least say to his mom "Well I tried to call, but it sounds like his phone's dead". So I called, and the phone rang. And he picked up. Turns out he bought a new charger. So in short, YES I broke NC. It was bad. But I'm wondering if it might have been worth it? Let me know what you guys think of this: Since I'd already broken NC by his answering his phone, I asked if he wanted to meet sometime this week to discuss things. I wanted to explain to him what was happening with his stuff at my apartment, that it needs to be gone by the end of the month. Also, there was a lot of other stuff going on I wanted to talk to him about. It's crazy how much stuff builds up to talk about with someone you talk(ed) to every day. He surprised me by wanting to meet that night, after I was done work (this took place while I was at work). So I met him at a park, and he was very somber. We sat by a tree and talked for a while. We didn't talk about our relationship at first, just "catching up" sort of things (I know, so lame). When we finally did start to talk about our relationmship, he immediately started crying. He seemed open to discussion, but kept saying he didn't know what he wanted...all he knew was he didn't want to lose me altogether. But blah blah blah I know, I've heard it before too. It means he wants to sleep with me without having the committment of a relationship. I'm not into that, and I told him so. After we finished talking about that issue, we left the park. The plan was that he'd stop by my place to pick up some medications before he left back to his hotel. Well, he suddenly stopped and grabbed me and kissed me like in the movies. It was so completely unexpected I almsot didn't know how to react. But suddenly he wasn't sad or moody anymore. He was smiling, happy, affectionate, loving - exactly the same person I knew and remembered from only one month ago, before this breakup nonsense came out of left field. Well, we ended up making dinner together, watching a tv show (the one we used to watch together every week), and cuddling. And he stayed the night at my house. We did not sleep together, but we did sleep in the same bed. During the cuddling, he told me he loved me. The day he left our apartment (almost 3 weeks ago now), he told me he didn't know if he loved me anymore, and didn't say a word more about it. So last night was the first time he said he loved me in 3 weeks. I was so surprised, my first reaction was to respond "Really?" and he said he'd thought about it, and now being together with me again, he knew it was the case, and that he really did love me. But now it's the day after. When I went to work he went back to his hotel and said he'd call me in a few days. He has the hotel until Monday, so I'm guessing that's when he'll call. He says his goal is to get his own place by August, but that still leave 2 more weeks in July where he has nowhere to go. I know his mom would be happy to have him stay, althought I know he wouldn't want to go up there (they live in the suburbs, while we live in the city). But I don't think he should stay with me. Well, what do you all think? Does it sound genuinely hopeful, or is he stringing me along? (Does anyone find it weird he bought a new charger for his cellphone when he's syaing at hotels that have complimentary phone use in the room?)
Mack05 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 S girl I don't know your story but what I do is that this guy is Emotionally unstable and I wouldn't trust one word that comes Out of his mouth. My honest opinion? This has heartbreak written All over it.
TheHurtProcess Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 S girl I don't know your story but what I do is that this guy is Emotionally unstable and I wouldn't trust one word that comes Out of his mouth. My honest opinion? This has heartbreak written All over it. Unfortunately, I agree.
TheHurtProcess Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 S girl I don't know your story but what I do is that this guy is Emotionally unstable and I wouldn't trust one word that comes Out of his mouth. My honest opinion? This has heartbreak written All over it. Unfortunately, I agree.
CaliBabe Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 I unfortunately agree as well, 3 weeks is not enough time for someone to truly think things through and make life changing decisions. I do think you are being very nice to the guy.
TheHurtProcess Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Oops, didn't mean to double post there. What I don't understand is how someone can say that they don't know what they want and then the same night change their mind so quickly and say that they want to get back together. I personally think that he doesn't know what he really wants and that may come up again in the next couple of days.
Author Stupid Girl Posted July 15, 2011 Author Posted July 15, 2011 Mack, you're very right about his emotional instability right now, if you read my previous posts you'll know he's struggling through a lot of issues. So while now may not be the best time in life for him, if we're right for each other, that's supposed to last through good and bad, up and down, etc. THP, thanks for replying. He never said he wanted to get back together. It seems like he's still wanting to take his "space" by not calling for a few more days. He only said that he's sure of his feelings for me (although that might beg the question, if he's sure of his feelings, shouldn't he do whatever he can for us to be together again?) Cali, thanks for your input. What makes you say I'm being nice to him?
Chuck Bartowski Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Mack, you're very right about his emotional instability right now, if you read my previous posts you'll know he's struggling through a lot of issues. So while now may not be the best time in life for him, if we're right for each other, that's supposed to last through good and bad, up and down, etc. THP, thanks for replying. He never said he wanted to get back together. It seems like he's still wanting to take his "space" by not calling for a few more days. He only said that he's sure of his feelings for me (although that might beg the question, if he's sure of his feelings, shouldn't he do whatever he can for us to be together again?) Cali, thanks for your input. What makes you say I'm being nice to him? Sg, Proceed with caution. I can tell you from a guys POV that he is unstable and needs to sort his feelings out. Let him work on his issues and get himself back. As much as my breakup 2 months ago devastated me, it was a necessary event that woke me up to feel again. I had been emotionally numb for the last few years of our 8 year relationship and her leaving me left me to work on my issues. I am now more focused and alive than I have been in a long time. I am no where near where I want to be but I can see good things in my future. I hope she will see this some day and come back but I can't base my life on that.
TheHurtProcess Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 THP, thanks for replying. He never said he wanted to get back together. It seems like he's still wanting to take his "space" by not calling for a few more days. He only said that he's sure of his feelings for me (although that might beg the question, if he's sure of his feelings, shouldn't he do whatever he can for us to be together again?) I read this part wrong. My bad. It sounded as if you were saying that he thought about getting back together with you again. But now that I'm reading it again, I see what you meant. "I was so surprised, my first reaction was to respond "Really?" and he said he'd thought about it, and now being together with me again, he knew it was the case, and that he really did love me." I also agree with what you're saying.If he really did love you, I'm thinking that he should want nothing more than to be with you.Beat me to it, haha.
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