Lola_1 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Hello, everyone I think this is a great place where everyone can get his or her sorrows out... so I'll do my own I have to say I'm terribly heartbroken about my situation, mainly because this break-up was never even a break-up as such. It all started three years ago. I met a great guy where I was studying at the time, and he seemed really REALLY into me, to the point of drawing little happy faces for me, even reading out a poem looking at me, and, all in all, everyone could tell he was crazy about me! I was rather cold at first, I'm easily hurt, so I tried not to fall for someone that might break my heart too soon. But, after 1 1/2 years, I started to give in, because he was so evident about he liking me very much. Very caring, gentleman-like. One day, totally unexpectedly, we hooked up, and, after that, he acted very strange towards me. Even cold. I thought that he had just wanted some fun, but he just kept coming back. I was utterly confused. I didn't know what he wanted with me. I'm too shy, so I was always shy to bring the topic whenever we had a conversation. That was all my fault, I should have seen it coming. A couple of months later, his girlfriend found out (I didn't know he had one), and he was forced to tell me (she had found one of my messages). He confessed to me he was dating someone, and that he had been an idiot about getting involved with me. That tore me apart, really. It was the last thing I ever thought he'd say. I realized I had just been an amusement to him. But I just couldn't convince myself of it - he had just been so real about he liking me! I didn't understand. I still don't understand. After his message, I replied I had feelings for him, and I thought he had feelings too. I said I understood that I should keep my distance so he could fix things with his girlfriend (he was so cold about this I understood he didn't and had never had any feeligs for me, and that he, surely, loved his girlfriend). He never replied nor called me ever again. I assume he was "agreeing" on my reply. After that, he started checking on everything I do on the web, and there's where I got even more puzzled than before. I just don't get him, and I don't understand the whole situation. Why did he hook up with me, and then regret it? Why does he follow every little thing I do, when, apparently, I was so "meaningless" in the whole scene? And... did he ever felt anything for me? Was he just acting it up? There's a huge silence that I just can't understand. I wish I could get the chance to talk to him, but I'm sure he won't reply, or he wouldn't want to. Whenever I come across him, from time to time, he never looks at me, at least not when I'm looking. He looks like he's nervous and trying to escape. I don't even say a word to him! I would really appreciate your thoughts. I'm just so puzzled, and I love him. I thought he felt something for me, but I just don't know what to think. I rarely make a mistake like this with someone, but this time, it looks like I did. Did I?
lonelynyc Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 It has been years since you started with this guy, in the interim have you had any real dating/relationship experience? I'm not trying to be too harsh, just honest so that you can move on with your life: this guy is a cheater who wanted to have a no-strings-attached fling with you. I'm guessing he's very attracted to you, but he's saving all of his best for that girlfriend of his. The game you're playing right now is far more risky on an emotional level than actually going out there and dating people for real (and being truly open to starting relationships) and it comes with a much lower reward. He's not even married to this other girl--if he wanted you for more than a good time he'd have left her already (he's known you long enough). Forget this coward.
Mack05 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 (edited) Lola this one is really simple. Let's say he breaks up with his girlfriend and comes to you apologising for everything begging you to take him back. Tell me how on earth could you possibly trust him after everything that has happened!?!?. There is a 100% chance he would cheat on you, the exact same way he cheated on his girlfriend with you.. Lola you were conned by a nasty piece of work. Don't beat yourself up, they are many of them out there. They put on a very good act. This guy is a total lowlife. The only thing you should be questioning, is why on earth do you still 'Love' a lowlife like this? It's clear you have low self esteem and low self worth. Don't give this %&%&&%^ another seconds thought and focus on your own personal issues...When you get your self esteem back and you start to think clearly then you will see what the rest of us on this site see's... Edited July 14, 2011 by Mack05
Author Lola_1 Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Thank you, guys and yes, I do have a very low self-esteem, that is why I probably hooked-up with him in the first place. I know I should forget him, but he just makes it even harder for me when he's chasing me around, like it meant something. I still don't know why I 'love' him! Really, thank you
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