gothowitz Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 "I've been feeling like there's a large weight occupying my midsection which makes me feel full even though I hadn't really had much to eat during the day. Every time I try to swallow my food, it feels like it doesn't really go down. I have also been having a hard time falling asleep and waking up every morning. I find myself having a conversation with him in my head when I'm all alone, telling him all the things I would have loved for him to know but never had the chance to say because he chose to drop me like I didn't mean anything at all to him" This sums up how I feel, what the hell is that feeling? The large weight occupying our midsection? How does that work? It takes me 20 minutes to eat a slice of toast! I think it's the weight of your emotions manifesting itself physiologically. Since your mind's preoccupied with something negative, your body's responding negatively too. Yesterday, for breakfast, I had Cheerios without milk and the serving was only the size of a toddler's bowl, but I had the hardest time finishing it.
gothowitz Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I dream of my ex every night without fail. So every morning I feel sick, empty, numb! Dreams can feel far too real! I have also had that dream, I had a dream that I woke up and realised it was just a horrible dream..Then I woke up. I think about taking my own life everyday, but like you, can't put my family through that. If it wasn't for my family, I would have taken my life. Morbid, but true. This has scared me a little. While we were on our camping trip, I actually had a dream about his sister and her boyfriend, both of whom I'd met and told me they adored me, breaking up! The guy approached me and my ex saying that he couldn't take my ex's sister's being overbearing anymore. Little did I know that it was going to be me and my ex who were actually going to break up!
Finch Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I had a long day, and arrived home with a headache. But my boyfriend is home now, which makes the pain a little more bearable. He said I look "gorgey", which made me feel good. Might still need a cuddle though.
Author TaintedHeart Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 I think it's the weight of your emotions manifesting itself physiologically. Since your mind's preoccupied with something negative, your body's responding negatively too. Yesterday, for breakfast, I had Cheerios without milk and the serving was only the size of a toddler's bowl, but I had the hardest time finishing it. It's horrible isn't it. I'm sure our ex's aren't having trouble eating. I have got so used to not eating, that when I do I feel guilty, why, I have no bloody idea!
gothowitz Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I doubt that we ever cross their minds. They are going through their lives as we speak as though we don't exist anymore, not in their world anyway. Sucks that it's the world that we actually want to be a part of.
ShatteredDreams Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Right now my mind is traveling to really dark places....and I want revenge on my ex and the guy whom I considered my best friend for the 2 years and 5 months I was with my ex.
Author TaintedHeart Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Right now my mind is traveling to really dark places....and I want revenge on my ex and the guy whom I considered my best friend for the 2 years and 5 months I was with my ex. I'm sorry to hear that, It's funny how so many people are feeling the way I feel right now, but I still feel like the only one. Where are you from? It's nearly 1am here, and I know I'm not going to sleep
livy07 Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Pretty crappy. Day 16 of NC (unless you count me sending him his stuff, and him e-mailing me to say thanks). I miss him terribly at times, and other times not at all. It's very bizarre. We were together for 5 months (LD) and he has lots of personal problems to work out. I just miss him.
ShatteredDreams Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 I'm sorry to hear that, It's funny how so many people are feeling the way I feel right now, but I still feel like the only one. Where are you from? It's nearly 1am here, and I know I'm not going to sleep It's 8:11 PM here. But I can't go to sleep until like 5-6 am ever since the situation. I am even afraid to sleep because of the dreams, and every time I close my eyes I see her smiling back at me.
CaliBabe Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 I just did my cardio so I got my endorphins. Feeling pretty... Good
TheVSilent Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 At this VERY moment, I am feeling very sad. I feel lost, I feel like my self esteem is totally gone, like girls look at me and just want to vomit. Two months later, and I still feel like crap. Yes it has gotten better, but just slightly, 5 years together all gone, this is going to take time.
ShatteredDreams Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 It is 4:40 am and I just woke up from a bad dream about my ex. In the dream we are together in happy times. I had another dream yesterday that caused me to feel the same way. Month 5 NC and all day today and yesterday out of nowhere I had been having bad breakdowns. What I'm thinking at this very moment...is revenge.
nyc_guy2003 Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Got a good workout in this morning, casual Friday in the office, going out to dinner tonight and then a birthday party. Can't complain.
69ways Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 It is 4:40 am and I just woke up from a bad dream about my ex. In the dream we are together in happy times. I had another dream yesterday that caused me to feel the same way. Month 5 NC and all day today and yesterday out of nowhere I had been having bad breakdowns. What I'm thinking at this very moment...is revenge. I broke down yesterday but no revenge in my menu.......
fauxleather Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Day 18 of NC, and it's the weekends. Weekends have always been a mixed feeling ever since we broke up. But I'm trying to get myself occupied until work kicks in again.
Chuck Bartowski Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Feeling Ok today. Felt ok yesterday. The previous 4 days before that I was a basket case. Today is day 24 NC. I think the acceptance phase is starting to creep in. I still miss her but not in the emotional sad way I have been. Just gonna let God take over from here and guide my life. I have a lot of good things to look forward to in the near future. If she chooses to join me and share these things then I would welcome her into my life again, if not I am still gonna make my life a good one and will share it with someone else that can appreciate it and me.
Chuck Bartowski Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 Yeh weekends are always really tough Seems to get a little easier each weekend as I get used to my new routine and focus more on my life. Hopefully moving to Australia in January so I have a lot to focus on and that is keeping my thoughts occupied.
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