TaintedHeart Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 (edited) So it's a warm Thursday night, and I'm alone, feeling empty, sad ect and missing somebody that I know I shouldn't be. I'm sure she's not thinking about me. So how are you feeling? Feel like I'm the only one crying, silly I know. Edited July 14, 2011 by TaintedHeart
TaraMaiden Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Now it would be pretty callous of me to tell you. But things will get better for you, I promise. Emotional pain is not a terminal illness. Recovery is progressive. And the speed - is up to you.....
Mack05 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 (edited) Well if it's Friday night for you, can you tell me what is going to happen tomorrow!?Weather, Sport/TV what happens!? ;-)..Right now, I have this feeling that a long distance friend of mine is going to go NC on me after Sunday..Still, I will have to keep my dignity/self respect and not break NC when she asks me :-) Edited July 14, 2011 by Mack05
nyc_guy2003 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Thursday afternoon here. About to hit a happy hour event in a couple hours, followed by a barbeque with lots of food and drink at a friend's mansion in the city. Can't complain.
dicky_fish Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I'm with you Tainted. I'm just sat at home, my parents are around me, but I'm just in a sad bubble. I miss her so much and just keep wishing I would wake up from this nightmare. Every time I close my eyes she's there and all I want is to just hear her giggle at me again. You're not on your own kiddo xxx
kash123 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 So it's a warm Thursday night, and I'm alone, feeling empty, sad ect and missing somebody that I know I shouldn't be. I'm sure she's not thinking about me. So how are you feeling? Feel like I'm the only one crying, silly I know. You need to surround yourself with people, you won't feel any better when you are on your own because what you will do is keep going round and round in circles feeling sad, depressed and distancing yourself from everyone, it will only get worse. You should do the opposite, go out and about, be around positive people, do the things you love, take this a great opportunity to fulfill your ambitions and get your confidence back up. Then you'll feel a lot better about yourself and you'll think less of her. If you need to let it all out, seek some professional counselling or let it all out to a friend till you get bored of the topic, that will help.
Lil1 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 It is almost lunch time for me here In California and at this very moment I am feeling a little hungry, but also a little sad. Not quite sure why, maybe because it's so overcast today? Although it's probably because I woke up thinking about my ex and can't seem to shake him off my mind today. I must of had a dream about him but I can't remember it. OP, if the love you and your ex shared was deep then she undoubtedly thinks of you from time to time. Fellings of loneliness, emptiness and sadness are all part of the grieving process when you go through a difficult breakup. It does hurt, and it does take a lot out of you. But like Tara said, this will pass, and you will come out stronger and renewed. For now, take your time and focus on healing yourself. Best of luck to you!
whatdoido1717 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 On my lunch break in Oregon and I guess I am... 1) Hungry 2) Excited (because it's 50 days until college football season... ...ah, my true love and only constant, haha) ...but I had many evenings like yours. Trust me it will get better, how fast depends on how proactive you are.
kash123 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I feel slightly angered, I have been on NC for a a couple of months but I still keep getting messages from my ex on a monthly basis. Last message she randomly messaged me about our intimate moments and I was shocked considering it's been 6 months and she was the one that left me yet she brings that topic up. I don't know why the ex's keep being so persistent on trying to contact you even when you told them not to. I mean she asked for space I gave it, she left me and wanted to enjoy her life so I let her and all I asked was leave me in peace so I can heal from the pain:mad:. ARGGGGH!
amethyste Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I'm with you Tainted. I'm just sat at home, my parents are around me, but I'm just in a sad bubble. I miss her so much and just keep wishing I would wake up from this nightmare. Every time I close my eyes she's there and all I want is to just hear her giggle at me again. You're not on your own kiddo xxx I wanted to tell you that I always laugh when I see your posts because you use the "lmao" smilie as a crying one. Something like "I'm so sad, lmao" * Let's see how everybody feels. I'm okay, had dinner and now I'm happy that my hair color came out right. On the other side, everything seems surreal - I walk, I breathe, I eat, but I don't really feel like myself.
The Aviator Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Hmmm, sitting on my bed on LS and Facebook. She's in my mind but I'm not feeling anything really :\ How strange. I always feel much much better in the evenings than in the mornings where as for some people it's the other way around. I'll go to bed in a while feeling alright in myself but most likely wake up tomorrow morning feeling the same...i.e. quiet and not up for much apart getting into my gear and going to work. It's been about 100 days now. Slowly getting better I guess But still have my painful moments
Author TaintedHeart Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 I wanted to tell you that I always laugh when I see your posts because you use the "lmao" smilie as a crying one. Something like "I'm so sad, lmao" * Let's see how everybody feels. I'm okay, had dinner and now I'm happy that my hair color came out right. On the other side, everything seems surreal - I walk, I breathe, I eat, but I don't really feel like myself. Why is that?
amethyste Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 How strange. I always feel much much better in the evenings than in the mornings where as for some people it's the other way around. I sometimes feel like that too. I'm a bit more nervous in the morning & I tend to calm down by evening.
Author TaintedHeart Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Why don't you feel like yourself?
amethyste Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Why don't you feel like yourself? Because I'm on my "automatic mode", to say so. My body is functioning, but my mind is a bit numb. I try not to think too much about what happened, and I'm just waiting for the time to pass by.
Rory12345 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I, myself, am feeling pretty good. Shattered from work. Ego is still bruised 3 months later. Craving some sort of a female attention but I know it won't do anything for me. Ex is still on my mind but I know it doesn't do any good what so ever.
Author TaintedHeart Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Because I'm on my "automatic mode", to say so. My body is functioning, but my mind is a bit numb. I try not to think too much about what happened, and I'm just waiting for the time to pass by. I'm feel the same as you, pretty much. Bloody weird feelings, I'm tired but I know my mind wont allow me to sleep.
Geya Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I'm alright but feeling abit of anxiety .. However I'm distracting myself by just chatting with friends
LilThalie Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 He's on my mind, but other than that pretty well. It's late at night, and I'm pretty confident and content with myself. I dread the morning, I hate mornings. That fraction of a moment when you wake up, open your eyes and realize that something just feels wrong. :/
gothowitz Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Broke up with my boyfriend last Monday (story of how things unraveled here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t286288/), and although I know that I did the right thing for myself, there's a small part of me that, I must admit, hopes that he'd come back to with an apology and a fervent plea for reconciliation. He was supposed to have dropped off my stuff at my doorstep yesterday, but they weren't there when I checked, so he might come by later tonight or tomorrow. I have maintained NC since our break up, and so has he. I'm really nervous about his dropping off my things, because it'd be the final nail in the coffin, signaling that our relationship is indeed over without him making any effort to at least work things out with me. What annoys me the most is the fact that, all things considered, we had a pretty drama-free relationship. Something or some things could've been done to fix our problems, but since I was never aware that things were going south in his perception, as he never talked to me about his issues with me, I stood no chance at saving what we had. The one thing that I see that could've been a problem for him was that I tended to get quiet when I was upset or tired. Sometimes, he'd say or do things that wouldn't sit well with me, and because I'm by nature not the confrontational type, I would tend to mull over whether I was being unreasonable for being upset, just so I wouldn't blurt out something that I wouldn't be able to take back. If I felt like I could let certain unpleasant things slide, I did, and then I went back to being attentive to what he needed or wanted from me. I didn't bite my tongue all the time though. There were a few things that I mustered up the courage to take up with him, even though it scared me to death how he'd react. I talked to him about this tendency of mine to get quiet and how I was working on fixing it, thinking that he'd be patient and understanding. Maybe he took it to mean that he wasn't being successful at making me happy? I don't know. I don't think I'll ever know. Since we got back from our camping trip, I've been vacillating between thinking that he ignored/avoided me because of shortcomings on my part, and thinking that his immaturity, insensitivity, as well as his unwillingness to communicate his issues throughout our five-month-long relationship, were really to blame. I know that I have a lot of things to look forward to, especially with my graduate studies commencing in less than two months, but I can't help but feel like a limb had been hacked off of my body. It's not easy to put almost half a year's worth of memories behind oneself, and I'm trying to take things one day at a time. My friends have been incredibly supportive, in that when they see that I'm going into my "I wish he'd come back" thinking, they immediately remind me of all the ways he disrespected and neglected me during our relationship and how never fought for me in the end. I've been struggling to gain back my appetite, too. I've been feeling like there's a large weight occupying my midsection which makes me feel full even though I hadn't really had much to eat during the day. Every time I try to swallow my food, it feels like it doesn't really go down. I have also been having a hard time falling asleep and waking up every morning. I find myself having a conversation with him in my head when I'm all alone, telling him all the things I would have loved for him to know but never had the chance to say because he chose to drop me like I didn't mean anything at all to him. I get up these days feeling like I have to convince myself all over again that things worked out the way they should and that I didn't make the wrong decision to formally end things between us.
ShatteredDreams Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 After about 2-3 months, right when I thought I was making big progress, I had a very vivid dream that caused me to have a huge breakdown. The dream was like a memory or something we would do daily. The location was perfectly detailed, and so was my car. I was in the dream thinking, wow was that break up a huge nightmare? Now I'm still crying and feeling very suicidal. But I'm not going to act on it, can't do that to my parents, or the friends that were there to cry when I attempted it the first time.
Author TaintedHeart Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 "I've been feeling like there's a large weight occupying my midsection which makes me feel full even though I hadn't really had much to eat during the day. Every time I try to swallow my food, it feels like it doesn't really go down. I have also been having a hard time falling asleep and waking up every morning. I find myself having a conversation with him in my head when I'm all alone, telling him all the things I would have loved for him to know but never had the chance to say because he chose to drop me like I didn't mean anything at all to him" This sums up how I feel, what the hell is that feeling? The large weight occupying our midsection? How does that work? It takes me 20 minutes to eat a slice of toast!
Author TaintedHeart Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 After about 2-3 months, right when I thought I was making big progress, I had a very vivid dream that caused me to have a huge breakdown. The dream was like a memory or something we would do daily. The location was perfectly detailed, and so was my car. I was in the dream thinking, wow was that break up a huge nightmare? Now I'm still crying and feeling very suicidal. But I'm not going to act on it, can't do that to my parents, or the friends that were there to cry when I attempted it the first time. I dream of my ex every night without fail. So every morning I feel sick, empty, numb! Dreams can feel far too real! I have also had that dream, I had a dream that I woke up and realised it was just a horrible dream..Then I woke up. I think about taking my own life everyday, but like you, can't put my family through that. If it wasn't for my family, I would have taken my life. Morbid, but true. This has scared me a little.
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