bluechocolate Posted April 23, 2004 Posted April 23, 2004 Apologies if you've all seen this before - came across this a while back & again just recently - I laughed & laughed Q: My husband wants to have a threesome with me and my best friend. A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it. Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him. A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him a nice meal. Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The Man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house, too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal. Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is. A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal. Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex and cooking him a nice meal. Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one. A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
HokeyReligions Posted April 23, 2004 Posted April 23, 2004 LOL! I haven't seen that one in a looooong time! Still funny
moimeme Posted April 24, 2004 Posted April 24, 2004 Thank heavens I've got a bookcase full of cookbooks!
spencer Posted April 24, 2004 Posted April 24, 2004 Originally posted by bluechocolate Apologies if you've all seen this before - came across this a while back & again just recently - I laughed & laughed this was so funny i had to add my $.02, i like my quotes better there in bold italic's Q: My husband wants to have a threesome with me and my best friend. A: good thing my best friend is male Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it. Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him. A: Do it to his best male friend Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on his best friend is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him a nice meal. Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The Man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to sleep with his friend too); throw all his belongings out!Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his parents home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend, again male to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal. Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is. A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. thats what boyfriends are for If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your bestmale friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on his friend and cook him a delicious meal. Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex with other men should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should by not insisting he perform oral on your bf ; He should never have to work to get him in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on the next stud that walks byand cooking him a nice meal. Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one. A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. have you forgotten, this is what bf's are for Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal. oh yeah much more fun
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