bama_bbq Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I met this girl online who lives a little over an hour away, and almost a week ago we had dinner for a first date when I passed through her town. During the date, there were some kind of awkward silences and at the time I thought she really didn't like me; I got the vibe that she was uncomfortable and wanted to leave. So at the end I hugged her instead of kissed her, and didn't mention planning anything specific. A couple hours later she texted me saying she was sorry for being kinda nervous, that she had a good time, and asked if I got home okay. I figured maybe she was just nervous and actually did like me. So I just texted her if she'd like to float a river halfway between us this weekend, and she said "Sounds fun! Is it a group going?" My question is, why would she ask if it's a group going? Maybe it's just the way I asked her, but is this an indicator that she actually is not interested in dating? I think I'll just say I couldn't get any of my friends (in my town) to go with me....
oaks Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 My question is, why would she ask if it's a group going? Maybe it's just the way I asked her, but is this an indicator that she actually is not interested in dating? If you were doing this 20 years ago then you'd be doing it on the phone, not by text messages, so would you have said "hang on, let me go and ask my friends to analyse what you just asked me and I'll get back to you in a few hours"? Stop analysing it and just answer her question! Consider asking her why she wants to know, but I'm guessing that she's wondering if she should accept a date where she'll be in the middle of some wilderness, alone, with a guy she's only met once before.
Author bama_bbq Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Stop analysing it and just answer her question! Consider asking her why she wants to know, but I'm guessing that she's wondering if she should accept a date where she'll be in the middle of some wilderness, alone, with a guy she's only met once before. Yeah ... I should have thought ahead a few steps before I sent that text, which is why I scurried onto this forum for help. I don't think this river is really the middle of the wilderness (it's very popular for tubing), so I'm hoping that's not a concern, but yeah. I've been thinking about inviting some friends to go too, but I don't know if it's even worse for her to go with a bunch of guys (if it turns out only guys accept my invitations) she's never met. I'm also thinking about backing out of the invitation saying the river conditions don't look so great (which is true). Cowardly, yes I know ...
sm1tten Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I, too, would think of this as a group activity. Frankly that would make a terrible one on one date this early, IMO.
Author bama_bbq Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Yeah, I'm gonna cancel the whole thing. The reason I thought it up was that it seemed something that would be worth driving 40 minutes for and would be fun, but the responses here are right.... It's too elaborate for a second date, especially with someone you met online. I'm having second thoughts even trying to pursue this. The girl seems great, but it seems so difficult to *start* a relationship when you live over an hour away. I guess I suggested floating the river because it seemed a long distance to drive for lunch or something. Does anybody here have experience starting a semi-long distance thing?
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