latexyankee Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Yep, sure did, at one of local hospitals here in Columbus. TBH, it does feel good, helping out, giving back etc...They made me commit to a one year assignment so I sure hope I don't flake. Honestly, I would have never done anything like this if she wouldn't have left. I'm really just trying to keep extra busy. Does this make my work less honorable? I mean I know i'm doing something good...something right, but is it really who I am? I think i'm just doing it to get her off my mind (which is not helping btw) rather than out of the kindness of my heart. Now I DO RECOMMEND this to anyone else who is struggling, it will make you feel better just like working out however; I just feel as if I am trying to PROVE to myself that I am a good person. Making myself think "what a loss for her, look at me I work full time support myself and my daughter and still find time to give to others, how could she leave that". And i begin to wonder what she would think if she knew what I was doing(It's kinda out of character for me)would she laugh, be encouraging, be proud etc etc etc....I don't know, now I just feel as if I WANT to know what she would think/say when I know the reason for me engaging in this is NOT to get her back, it was a step toward getting myself/inner being back.
Author latexyankee Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Oh and my god, talk about a plethora of hot (hopefully naughty) nurses.
geegirl Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 It may be something that is out of character for you because you've never done it before but maybe in time you will actually enjoy and want to do it, for yourself and not for anyone else. Not to impress someone else but as something that fulfills you. I have been volunteering at a hospice for several years now and enjoy it but only because I'm passionate about the cause. Maybe you would find volunteering more fulfilling if you volunteered for a cause that you are wanting to be involved in and not just volunteer for the sake of volunteering. You should be doing this for you and not to impress her or make her see you in a different light. If that is the case, most likely you won't last long. But I do hope you enjoy it and it turns out to be something you love doing, for you and for others. Still, kudos on taking a step in the right direction!!!
Author latexyankee Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Thanx, yea I am doing something that interests me, and i am passionate about the medical field. It's just really early and I've only been NC for about 5 weeks so I think those thoughts may be normal. But it does make me feel better and that whats counts now right? I'm sick of feeling lost and lonely.
lonelynyc Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 You're not a bad person for having that mentality... Instead of coping with self-indulgent or even self-destructive behavior, you are turning all of your grief into a positive force and making a difference for those who need it the most. It's the same way people who head NGO's and charities make a decent living, although much less than they would if they went into business, at the end of the day their work in this world has real value. I recently signed up to tutor summer school students in an impoverished part of my city... Sometimes I think about what my ex might say, but overall I'd say I'm doing it just to stop wallowing in my own misery. I have a good degree, good job, despite being heartbroken there are people out there facing more challenging obstacles. If we have the capacity to love someone else so strongly, we should also be able to care about people who need our help, even if they're strangers.
geegirl Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Thanx, yea I am doing something that interests me, and i am passionate about the medical field. It's just really early and I've only been NC for about 5 weeks so I think those thoughts may be normal. But it does make me feel better and that whats counts now right? I'm sick of feeling lost and lonely. Yes, these thoughts are completely normal. I remember when I started working out after the break up, I used to wonder what he would think if he saw how fit I was and the new me. We associate everything we do with them because they're in the forefront of our minds. Plus, we once shared everything about our lives with them, now it's only normal to wonder what they would think about the changes and things going on in our lives. Yes, if it makes you feel better, keep doing it! Good for you. It's these little proactive steps that will help with your healing.
stray Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I think it's FANTASTIC that you are volunteering! Good for you! And great for the people you are helping. Volunteer work amounts to billions of dollars in work hours everyday; countless lives are significantly improved and saved, and there are people you have never even met, or can't even imagine, who are thanking their lucky stars for people like yourself. Your volunteering experience is great for you, as well, mentally and emotionally (not to mention on your resume). Your decision was a good one. Keep it up.
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