Thx55 Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t287196/ my wife called me and asked me if i have come to any conclusions as to what i was going to do while she is away in Massachusetts. She left to get away from everything including me and took my daughter with her. She has been begging me to leave the home and I haven't. I sleep on the third floor guest room and didn't want to leave in fear she would nail me for abodonment.. Am i wrong for staying here? Yes I have more options or more sofas to sleep on with family but what the hell is the right thing to do????? She was saying she wants out?? Then she says I need space and time to think.. she says i had hope that one day maybe we could be back together but now after you put me through this I don't ever want to be with you again?? What the hell does she want from me. Im not a mean person at all she is younger than i am and is depressed as much if not more thane me. I however admit it and see a thearapist and talk with people. I was afraid to leave because i was afraid o would never be allowed to come back.. i didn't trust her in this situation?? What am I to do? She makes me feel like i blew it.. maybe i did.. maybe it's how it was supposed to be.
Author Thx55 Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 no i doubt she's fooling around. valid point. it's basically coming to me forcing her to leave. the only place she could go was her mothers.. I'm seeing a lawyer tomorrow just to ask some questions and ease my conscious. If she wanted space and i wasn't afraid of not being able to return i would have left but i didn't get the answers soon enough. she never appeared to let the door open if you know what i mean
coolheadal Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Who's house it it? Yours or hers? She left you and gone to her mothers this can happen. Let her go and cool off. By-the-way what has lead you down this path. Can you explain what has been going on over there for her to start this? What did you an her do on the 4th of July? What happen last month. Something triggered this. You could jump in your car and drive to her mothers to see your kid. You have that right you know. She can't keep her away from you. Either you stay in the house by yourself and go mad, or do something about it!
Woggle Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 She wants out so let her leave. Why should you have to move out of your home because of her actions that are no fault of your own?
Author Thx55 Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Who's house it it? Yours or hers? She left you and gone to her mothers this can happen. Let her go and cool off. By-the-way what has lead you down this path. Can you explain what has been going on over there for her to start this? What did you an her do on the 4th of July? What happen last month. Something triggered this. You could jump in your car and drive to her mothers to see your kid. You have that right you know. She can't keep her away from you. Either you stay in the house by yourself and go mad, or do something about it! Hello. Thanks for responding. I would go see my daughter but I am in pa. And I am the only source of income. My wife feels I have been smothering her. Shes been wanting me to leave but I didn't want to risk it. So she left to get away and she is holding a grudge against me for it. She wanted space
mark982 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 well if your the only source of income. i would dry that up pronto, nothing like a good dose of reality for her. unless ot's money for the kid, she gets nothing
andyg99 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 smothering her? has she given any specifics? if she needs to go and "find herself" let her do it and you stay in the home and take care of your girl...
TroyNJ Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I know u don't want to hear this but I'd bet the farm another man is in the picture.....Do not leave your House, if she wants space, tell her to hit the road. Next thing you know another man will be in your House, I know you dont want to imagine that but I'm living proof that can happen..In my case I got lucky and got my house back...She wants you out of the way, don't be a pushover!
Owl Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Did you listen to any of the advice I gave on your original thread? Again...you're spending all your focus and energy worrying about her, about driving her away, blah,blah blah. Knock it off. Man up. Worry about taking care of yourself and your kids. If she wants to act single...let her leave and live ENTIRELY on her own without any benefit of being married to you. Either it will wake her up...or demonstrate to you just how strong you are. The WORST thing you can be doing is what you're doing right now. Giving her all the power and control in this situation. Stop. Start taking care of your kids and yourself. If she wants to seperate...let her know that there is NO REASON IN THE WORLD WHATSOEVER that YOU should be the one to leave. She wants you out of her life...she leaves. YOU need to take steps to protect yourself from her.
Author Thx55 Posted July 17, 2011 Author Posted July 17, 2011 owl no matter what i am being looked at like the selfish person.. if i stay she will take my daughter with her because she is stubborn. she's already done it and went to her mothers in MASS.. now upon her return home she is still questioning wether i will be there?? once again disrespecting her space and not listening?? threats of moving away to another state with my daughter?? who i love more than anything!! This is driving me mad. I know the longterm will be a battle but the short term decisions i need to make right now are crucifying me?? Im worried about my daughter and myself
analystfromhell Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 I went through an extended custody battle- my lessons learned? Take notes on everything and focus on your kids and yourself. As hard as it is, don't give the ex a second thought as she is no doubt giving you no space in her mind. She can't pick up and relocate the kid without your consent- this cannot happen and if she does, go straight to court and file a motion. MA is not a good place to file- Vermont, and a bunch of other places are much less biased towards women and much fairer in their judgements. Research your filing options and decide where it's best for YOU to file. Then, make sure your kids get what they need and forget about the ex. You're history to her and she should be to you as well.
Owl Posted July 21, 2011 Posted July 21, 2011 Consult a lawyer. If she took your daughter out of state without your permission or consent...that's a legal matter in and of itself. If your wife will view you as "the bad guy" no matter what you do...then stop worrying about her and focus all of your effort into taking ACTIVE measures to protect yourself and your daugther...and stop worrying about how your wife will percieve your actions or react to them. Plan on the worst from her, and be prepared accordingly. But the first step in all of this is to get good legal advice.
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