TheHurtProcess Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I've posted several times in the past that I had a good feeling that my ex would one day pop back into my life for some reason or another. The best parts is, it's now happening at the worst time possible. I was just starting to lose hope and here we go... She sends me a message on FB: "seeing how ur doing. i noticed u changed ur page to private again. but i saw that u had a lot of interviews before that so congrats! things seem to be looking way up for you. Just was thinking about u last night, had u in a dream" I'm not really asking anyone to analyze this message, because I already know that it contains nothing of any sort of significance and I'm pretty sure that I don't really want to respond... Unless it's me telling her to "leave me alone", because I'd rather not hear from her again in the future and knowing her, she's going to keep fishing. Any opinions?
Author TheHurtProcess Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 Well, for the time being, I just archived her message so I wouldn't have to look at her face anymore, when I log into FB from this point forward. That is unless she writes me another message later sometime. I also wrote a long letter to her (which I don't plan on sending), but it definitely helped me get some feelings and resentment out of my system. It's like WTF is she thinking? Does she think that I want to be buddy buddy with her after everything she's done to me throughout our relationship and especially afterward... F**K NO!
stray Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 She's NOT thinking. There has been no epiphany, trust me. I'm sure she was wondering how you're doing, and she probably did have a dream about you. Probably as simple as that. But her subconscious was saying, "oh so that dip**** I rejected thinks he's better than me huh, he acts like he isn't dying to have me back...well, we'll have to see about that. I'm gonna reel him back in a little bit so I sleep better at night". It's all ego. Remember that: it's ALL ABOUT HER EGO. It has very little to do with you. When it has to do with you, she'll make it clear. She'll say something like, "I'm really, really sorry I was a huge bi*ch", for a start. But right now, it's just "breadcrumbs" as you say. Don't respond. You'll KNOW when you should respond. And you know this is just a game that doesn't merit a response. Stick to your guns.
Movingthrough Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Was thinking about making a post similar to this to see what people think. I have a buddy who is going through almost the same thing, and i went through this at one point also. While the above poster is right about ego, i think there is another side of it too. I posted this a few times but i do believe there can be some sort of confliction. Females have been known to be more emotional then males and are more likely to say what they feel. I think sometimes they have situations like a dream and feel they need to say something because part of them still has a "thing" for you. Dont get me wrong, doesnt mean they want to get back together, but usually there is a small little something that is sitting in there still. I know its hard but in the long run your best bet will be not to respond. You will hear from her again so it will keep you in control, then if she does it again you can be honest and say you dont think its the best thing to talk to her.
ahoy Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Probably best to just delete the messages, block her and carry on looking out for number one. Or you know, don't and end up second guessing yourself every time she makes up some crap about having a dream about you.
Author TheHurtProcess Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 That's definitely what I wanted to hear... The truth. I needed someone to smack me with the "truth" to snap me out of whatever world it was that I was in for that moment. For a second there I thought I lived in a world where people actually gave a s**t about you, how you really are doing and so on... A world where people who supposedly loved you didn't betray/abandon you and didn't come back to feed their ego once in a while after they've already ripped out your heart and stomped on it. I would definitely like to hear what other people have to say. I really would. 1
robaday Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Im going thru the same thing, altho in my case it was a mutual break up. Anyone who communicates by texts/IM's isnt really worth fretting over. I dont think theyre necessarily evil for contacting you - they probably do have good intentions, and dont realize what harm its doing. The point is they are being weak not you for holding onto something that has gone. And thats the best way to look at it really - if anything it should benefit your ego that your showing restraint, and by not replying the whole "thinking of you" etc looks a little ridiculous. Keep it up, and look forward to even more desperate attention seeking behavior:) once you've taken a step back it's even quite funny.
bikinibeach Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 if you BLOCK HER in response, she will for sure get the message. she HURT you and you are trying to get over her....wouldn't she think for a second that dropping in and reminding you of what she did and acting like nothing is just the tiniest bit selfish? B.L.O.C.K H.E.R 1
Author TheHurtProcess Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 Im going thru the same thing, altho in my case it was a mutual break up. Anyone who communicates by texts/IM's isnt really worth fretting over. I dont think theyre necessarily evil for contacting you - they probably do have good intentions, and dont realize what harm its doing. The point is they are being weak not you for holding onto something that has gone. And thats the best way to look at it really - if anything it should benefit your ego that your showing restraint, and by not replying the whole "thinking of you" etc looks a little ridiculous. Keep it up, and look forward to even more desperate attention seeking behavior:) once you've taken a step back it's even quite funny. Quite true. I know that if I were to reply, I'd regret it later. This is why I haven't done so. I would like to keep my dignity and if I were to give in, everything I've been saying and doing up until now would all have been in vain. I truly appreciate you guys taking the time to respond and give me some advice. Thanks a ton.
poorguy Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Agree with everyone on here. Just a way to get a rouse out of you so she can feel better/good about whatever...Dont give in
stray Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Yes, do not respond. Responding would be like her waving a treat and you doing a little pony trick. If she wants to have an adult conversation, she'll step up to the plate. Don't manage down your standards for her anymore, or anyone for that matter.
Author TheHurtProcess Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 :lmao: hahaha! I love the analogies. Especially the little "pony trick" one by stray. Perhaps I might just take up bikinibeach on her advice and just "B.L.O.C.K H.E.R." arse!
robaday Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 The lyric that comes to mind is "you say it best when you say nothing at all". it wasnt intended for this purpose but it sums it up really. The point is - the natural reaction is to respond "i cant stop thinking about you either, i miss you terribly". but if you dont respond, you can see how far she will go - and then when she next contacts you, you will be glad you didnt say anything. let her do the work, u dont really have to do anything. apart from sign up to every dating agency under the sun, start chatting and spending time with all your female friends, gatecrash every party you know there'll be women at and enjoy yourself:) from the sounds of it, she aint goin anywhere
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I agree with not responding to her at all. But the bright side is you know she's been thinking about you, she's been checking your facebook and probably other online profiles to see what you are up to. Take this as an ego boost for you, and by not responding you will trump her ego .
RodG Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I've posted several times in the past that I had a good feeling that my ex would one day pop back into my life for some reason or another. The best parts is, it's now happening at the worst time possible. I was just starting to lose hope and here we go... She sends me a message on FB: "seeing how ur doing. i noticed u changed ur page to private again. but i saw that u had a lot of interviews before that so congrats! things seem to be looking way up for you. Just was thinking about u last night, had u in a dream" I'm not really asking anyone to analyze this message, because I already know that it contains nothing of any sort of significance and I'm pretty sure that I don't really want to respond... Unless it's me telling her to "leave me alone", because I'd rather not hear from her again in the future and knowing her, she's going to keep fishing. Any opinions? Hey Hurt, how long of NC was she/you on before she came back and said this?
Author TheHurtProcess Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 Hey Hurt, how long of NC was she/you on before she came back and said this? We broke up 2 months ago. We went NC about a week later. That lasted about a week or so. We started talking again for about a week and were talking about getting back together, got intimate for a while and so on. THen she started with the "I don't know what I want" BS again. For the past month we've been NC again. So, in total about 5-6 weeks of NC.
Author TheHurtProcess Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Thanks for all of your support. I totally appreciate the fact that I have such a great group of people that I can come to for advice, to listen and help me out when I need it. Thanks a bunch. I've finally posted my story here. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t287438/ You're probably going to read it and wonder why the hell I would even consider the thought of getting back with her ever (The first time we broke NC). Well, now you know what I mean when I say "After everything she's done to me..." and why I'm so dead set on moving on and not looking back.
Author TheHurtProcess Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 I agree with not responding to her at all. But the bright side is you know she's been thinking about you, she's been checking your facebook and probably other online profiles to see what you are up to. Take this as an ego boost for you, and by not responding you will trump her ego . hahaha, I know. I knew she was. It's good to know that I was right and she does care to an extent. However, it doesn't make things any easier, that's for sure.
wilsonx Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 We broke up 2 months ago. We went NC about a week later. That lasted about a week or so. We started talking again for about a week and were talking about getting back together, got intimate for a while and so on. THen she started with the "I don't know what I want" BS again. For the past month we've been NC again. So, in total about 5-6 weeks of NC. hate to say it bro but this is FWB, not getting back together. Ex's do this all the time to each other. I'd definitely stay away but if you really really really want to use her if she does this again. I will teach you how to mess with her mind. If you meet up in a month or so and she goes in for a Kiss you go in too, then you push her away right before the kiss. You say no, we can't do this we are just friends and get your stuff and leave. This is a huge attraction builder because you just rejected her
Author TheHurtProcess Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 hate to say it bro but this is FWB, not getting back together. Ex's do this all the time to each other. I'd definitely stay away but if you really really really want to use her if she does this again. I will teach you how to mess with her mind. If you meet up in a month or so and she goes in for a Kiss you go in too, then you push her away right before the kiss. You say no, we can't do this we are just friends and get your stuff and leave. This is a huge attraction builder because you just rejected her Oh yes, I know we were FWB. We've done it a few times in the past when we broke up. I didn't respond and to be honest, I don't think I'm going to. Personally I see it as the only win/win situation. Either I don't respond and it drives her mad and I win or I don't respond and she never tries to contact me again, I heal, move on and I win. If I were to respond, I can only see the two outcomes as being lose/lose. Either I respond, acting all nice and caring and she'll think she still has me wrapped around her little finger. Otherwise, I reply with an angry response and she'll only have more reason to justify her leaving as well as everything she did to me up until now. What a b***h!!!
AlisaMarie Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I've posted several times in the past that I had a good feeling that my ex would one day pop back into my life for some reason or another. The best parts is, it's now happening at the worst time possible. I was just starting to lose hope and here we go... She sends me a message on FB: "seeing how ur doing. i noticed u changed ur page to private again. but i saw that u had a lot of interviews before that so congrats! things seem to be looking way up for you. Just was thinking about u last night, had u in a dream" I'm not really asking anyone to analyze this message, because I already know that it contains nothing of any sort of significance and I'm pretty sure that I don't really want to respond... Unless it's me telling her to "leave me alone", because I'd rather not hear from her again in the future and knowing her, she's going to keep fishing. Any opinions? I am not even joking, after 3 weeks of breaking up and 10 days of complete NC, I told my friend I am feeling good and getting my move on. Can you believe not ten minutes after I told my friend that ... he freaking called me from a private number? Then boom, 3 days of going in circles of why we broke up and we can never be together but I love you ok lets get back together, no I am happy with the other girl... BLA! I had the last word, and I refuse to play the regret game with someone that has CLEARLY moved on with someone new. EWWW!
Author TheHurtProcess Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 I am not even joking, after 3 weeks of breaking up and 10 days of complete NC, I told my friend I am feeling good and getting my move on. Can you believe not ten minutes after I told my friend that ... he freaking called me from a private number? Then boom, 3 days of going in circles of why we broke up and we can never be together but I love you ok lets get back together, no I am happy with the other girl... BLA! I had the last word, and I refuse to play the regret game with someone that has CLEARLY moved on with someone new. EWWW! Don't you just love when that happens? Can these people just be considerate for once and think about someone else other than themselves?
AlisaMarie Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Don't you just love when that happens? Can these people just be considerate for once and think about someone else other than themselves? It sickens me to the core. I am seriously NOT bitter. I am just done with these games and garbage I usually take. Mr. Next better be prepared to do it right because I am not going to be a little servant that worships the ground ANYONE walks on. Ok... Maybe I am a litttttle bit bitter. <3
Author TheHurtProcess Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 It sickens me to the core. I am seriously NOT bitter. I am just done with these games and garbage I usually take. Mr. Next better be prepared to do it right because I am not going to be a little servant that worships the ground ANYONE walks on. Ok... Maybe I am a litttttle bit bitter. <3 Oh, I know the feeling. I'm a little bitter myself. But I believe that I have plenty of reason to be bitter. Many of us "dumpees" do.
wilsonx Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Bitter whats that? haha, I use to be bitter, but my ex contacted me for her plates the other day that she gave me as a gift and she's more bitter then I am. She demanded to have them back or for me to give her 20 dollars. She has a better paying job, she left me for a 37 year old guy that she works with. Shouldn't she be happy? Whats funny is that she forgets that I can read people and the cards they are dealt really well =)
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