goodguybadchoices Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 First let me say thank you in anticipation for your opinionated replies. I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years. Its been a rocky road and i have at times left and came back. We had are ups and downs and each of us has at one time started it with the other (relationship bumps in the road). The thing is how i treated her. I've at most times neglected her, not held her hand, look into her eyes or even paraded her around as to say this is my queen. We have a daughter together and kids from priors. She has loved me with all her will and has shown it on her sleeve. I on the other hand kept my emotions tied up and locked somewhere in my subconscience. Well as this continued, i did the worse thing possible, cheated on her after a falling out, i didn't think much about it because i didn't really have respect for that particular individual...cheating is a lack of respect for all involved. Well over some time i continued this hurtful, neglecting, ignoring behavior. Until one day i woke up, and started to attend church, My heart was riddle with hate, deciet, and anger. I told myself then that i need change, i need to treat my lady with all the respect she deserves. I continued to attend church, the prayers, internal healing, and groups. I worked at getting my heart to respect my queen, want to treat her the way it was meant to be. I'm so absolute in this and renounced my negative ways, and temptations, i've been taking baptismal classes for my change and renewal is evident. But i think its too late, for her heart does not find me anymore, black with disdain for my actions, i don't blame her, but i tell her all the time that i have changed, renewed, renounced, become a better man, a better man... But she has lost the love for me, she says she feels that way i use to feel for her when she had so much love for me. I tried and tried and she became more aggitated. I tell her with all my heart that i know i treated you wrong, wicked, and without passion. I've seen that wrong of my actions and made better thru my relationship with God. I ask if i can just prove it, but get a no, she tired. we talk seldom and usually to my daughter, I understand she is hurt (bad) but i do love this woman, and know that she loved me so so much. I want to prove to her i have changed, many will argue that men don't change but i have and want to show her how much....what should i do?
wilsonx Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 First let me say thank you in anticipation for your opinionated replies. I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years. Its been a rocky road and i have at times left and came back. We had are ups and downs and each of us has at one time started it with the other (relationship bumps in the road). The thing is how i treated her. I've at most times neglected her, not held her hand, look into her eyes or even paraded her around as to say this is my queen. We have a daughter together and kids from priors. She has loved me with all her will and has shown it on her sleeve. I on the other hand kept my emotions tied up and locked somewhere in my subconscience. Well as this continued, i did the worse thing possible, cheated on her after a falling out, i didn't think much about it because i didn't really have respect for that particular individual...cheating is a lack of respect for all involved. Well over some time i continued this hurtful, neglecting, ignoring behavior. Until one day i woke up, and started to attend church, My heart was riddle with hate, deciet, and anger. I told myself then that i need change, i need to treat my lady with all the respect she deserves. I continued to attend church, the prayers, internal healing, and groups. I worked at getting my heart to respect my queen, want to treat her the way it was meant to be. I'm so absolute in this and renounced my negative ways, and temptations, i've been taking baptismal classes for my change and renewal is evident. But i think its too late, for her heart does not find me anymore, black with disdain for my actions, i don't blame her, but i tell her all the time that i have changed, renewed, renounced, become a better man, a better man... But she has lost the love for me, she says she feels that way i use to feel for her when she had so much love for me. I tried and tried and she became more aggitated. I tell her with all my heart that i know i treated you wrong, wicked, and without passion. I've seen that wrong of my actions and made better thru my relationship with God. I ask if i can just prove it, but get a no, she tired. we talk seldom and usually to my daughter, I understand she is hurt (bad) but i do love this woman, and know that she loved me so so much. I want to prove to her i have changed, many will argue that men don't change but i have and want to show her how much....what should i do? You made poor decisions in the past that are relationship killers. They are and you should be accepting of that now that you have changed. If you really love her, then you need to let her go and give her space. I know you have a daughter together but thats what you have to do. Who knows over time, she might see that you have changed and want to try again but you need to keep doing what you are doing to make yourself a better person in the end. Going to church is a good way to start. If this does not work out, I'm sure you will meet someone down the road that you are not so closed off to in the beginning. What I call your relationship is not being on the same page at the same time. It happens a lot just learn from the decisions you made and make better ones in the future
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