Author irma Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 Why did he break up with you? We realised we were becoming like brother and sister. We were friends for six years and we began dating. Looking back we shouldn't have and two years into our relationship I realsied it wasn't going anywhere so I broke it off. He pleaded for another chance and we got back together on the basis that if it didn't work out we would break up onceand for all. it just wasn't working out. He instigated the second break up. I wanted to give it one last chance but he stuck to his guns. Looking back it was good we didn't try again and although I was upset at first I realised it was for the best. He is still my favourite ex though probably because we still get on well.
Sanman Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 He's my friend. We've known each other since 2001. Friends for way longer than the length of time we were dating. I find it strange. Wouldn't you care just alittle bit if your friend's girlfriend or boyfriend was just so different to who they've dated in the past? Not really, I'm a guy. We don't really care who our friends are dating as long as we can get along with them. The only time I care is if I cannot stand to be around them or it interferes with our friendship. Other than that, live and let live.
Author irma Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 (edited) Not really, I'm a guy. We don't really care who our friends are dating as long as we can get along with them. The only time I care is if I cannot stand to be around them or it interferes with our friendship. Other than that, live and let live. I think I am being way too judgmental about this. You're right it ddoesn't really matter what your friend's partners look like! But first impressions last and she didn't even speak to me let alone look at me. We were introduced and she just went in there and kissed my ex! Quite rude really, we were in a cafe and she was practically sitting on him. He did really look uncomfortable. I guess she was just saying 'He's mine'. I was, like, 'I know!' Edited July 13, 2011 by irma spelling
Rinas Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 But first impressions last and she didn't even speak to me let alone look at me. We were introduced and she just went in there and kissed my ex! Quite rude really, we were in a cafe and she was practically sitting on him. He did really look uncomfortable. I guess she was just saying 'He's mine'. I was, like, 'I know!' She likely felt as if you may still be a threat, which is why she was all over him. Best thing to do is to let go and move on.
Hot Chick Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 What if his ex turned out to be way prettier than you? Would you feel better? It's very possible that he is just really attracted to thinner women than you....yes, there are men who will find a size 6 (American size) too big. Have you seen the royal Kate lately? She is way under a size 6 and William obviously is more attracted to that build than to someone with more "meat on her bones" (to put it politely.) this is probably something that when you were together your ex was willing to overlook, but believe me, it was on his mind that you weren't his physical ideal in a woman. Plus once she puts makeup on, etc. she is probably much more attractive, very possibly hotter than yourself. One more thing to consider - maybe she's a lot better in bed (tighter, etc.) than you....it's hard for a man to let that go easily.
Author irma Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 What if his ex turned out to be way prettier than you? Would you feel better? It's very possible that he is just really attracted to thinner women than you....yes, there are men who will find a size 6 (American size) too big. Have you seen the royal Kate lately? She is way under a size 6 and William obviously is more attracted to that build than to someone with more "meat on her bones" (to put it politely.) this is probably something that when you were together your ex was willing to overlook, but believe me, it was on his mind that you weren't his physical ideal in a woman. Plus once she puts makeup on, etc. she is probably much more attractive, very possibly hotter than yourself. One more thing to consider - maybe she's a lot better in bed (tighter, etc.) than you....it's hard for a man to let that go easily. She may well be 'tighter' than me. What a pleasant thought...thanks for that. Any men out there been in a relationship with a gril purely for this reason? I think not, not a relationship that is. 'Royal Kate' is thin but she is also attractive, holds herself well, washes her hair... If he's into skinny girls then it's definately a recent thing. As long as I've known him he's been a self protested curves man. I think he's just discovered a 'new thing' I just felt things weren't right. The whole package was strange. If he had a really hot girlfriend yes I would feel slightly deflated but as he's been my friend for so long I would ultimately be thinking 'good for you!'
Hot Chick Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 If it's a new relationship, then sorry to say, yes, sex is very important right now and if he's getting the best sex of his life, then he's in heaven right now and probably thinks he's in love. I'm sure there's more to it, but to a guy...sorry but sex is a big part of it for him.
oaks Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I'm not really sure why you and he split up, but perhaps he's deliberately picked someone who isn't like you in order to not be reminded of you, or to ensure that the new woman doesn't think that she's a 'replacement' for you.
Author irma Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 If it's a new relationship, then sorry to say, yes, sex is very important right now and if he's getting the best sex of his life, then he's in heaven right now and probably thinks he's in love. I'm sure there's more to it, but to a guy...sorry but sex is a big part of it for him. Yep I agree. She's probably amazing in bed so good for her and him. But with sex alone it may not last. As our relationship fizzled out we hardly had sex. He texted me an hour ago, didn't find out til now as been posting too much here. He wants to meet up in two weekends time for a drink. His girlfriend will be turning up later. Hmmm...stranger still.
Hot Chick Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Threesome time.....trust me....the reason he had her meet you was to check you out about a possible threesome.....
Rinas Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Id would likely be best to cut ties until you've lost feelings, otherwise it will be too hard to watch.
Author irma Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 Threesome time.....trust me....the reason he had her meet you was to check you out about a possible threesome..... You know that was at the back of my mind! You would have thought she would have made more of an effort!!! perhaps he persuaded her and she wasn't keen, so she turned up looking such a mess and was just going along with it to please him. The dirty rat! Well, if that is really what they're up to there's NO CHANCE! No way. i would be horrified...
Author irma Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 Id would likely be best to cut ties until you've lost feelings, otherwise it will be too hard to watch. By all accounts they don't just want me to watch....
oaks Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Threesome time.....trust me....the reason he had her meet you was to check you out about a possible threesome..... Ha! Nah, it was to show the new girl that she wasn't just a direct replacement (in terms of physical appearance) for the old girl because the new girl was insecure about that. New girl will go away thinking that she's better than old girl (based on no hard evidence) and will feel better about the new relationship.
Hot Chick Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 I just had a thought...do you think she might work as a stripper at night? No wonder she is really tired, a fulltime job, going to college AND stripping at night...maybe that is how your ex met her - he went to a strip club to get over you - and why she wasn't so well-kept that day? She was just too darned tired to shower and dress decently? Plus it might explain the threesome theory....threesomes are probably nothing to her.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 My last boyfriend was very good-looking, and I consider myself average to a little better than average. His girlfriend before me was also very good-looking, definitely considered more attractive than me by your average guy. But my boyfriend told me she was boring in bed, not very smart, financially irresponsible, had no direction or goals, and their whole relationship felt blah -- whereas with us, the sex was on fire, we wrote and played music together all the time, we had crazy fun adventures together, we had a blast with each other's friends, and for most of the relationship, the emotional connection was something very special. Now, I'm not saying you are lacking in any of the above ways. But looks are not the only factor in the equation. Maybe his new girlfriend has strong personality, emotional, or intellectual qualities that he finds very attractive.
bigmomma1974 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 some people can wash there hair and it still looks oily. Beauty is only skin deep. you are being very judgemental of someone you just met and are judging by outter apperances. I myself look like a bag of leaves sitting at home with my hair in a pony tail, nno make-up on and in my pj's. You do not know why this girl looks this way but give it up. Your ex likes being with her for the time being and why your making a big deal about how she looks is beyond me.
Author irma Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Irma: Sometimes an uglier new person seems more attractive than the old BF or GF. Novelty and new is always attractive. Are you conceited or always worried about how you look? That could be a turn off for some men (even if you are beautiful and prettier than her). Any chance he was seeing her before he broke up with you? The fact that he wanted you to see her makes me thing he still feels something for you but the feeling is clouded by resentment. He resents you and wanted to hit you in the gut. Any idea why he may resent you? Were you ever unfaithful to your BF? Did you mistreated your BF? Hello I doubt he was seeing her before we broke up unless it was really really 'on the sly' as his friends only met her a week before I did. He is reallyn close to his friedns and they see each other most evenings after work. He would have had to have kept her well hidden. I don't see why he resents me as I didn't dump him, cheat on him or anything, things between us just didn't work out. BUT I did tell him I was online dating a while before I met her and he seemed a little irritated by it and said 'God that's for losers' or something along those lines and then we had a laugh about it. I just took that with a pinch of salt. OK I've had a quick chat with one of his friends who also feels it's a strange relationship. His friend said that they don't even share similar interests. He likes playing and watching sports, she doesn't. She likes only jazz music and he hates it, prefering heavy rock which she hates apparantly. She has no interest in politics, he is a member of his local political party! Also strangley she's really high maintenance (so the stripper thing could actually be true!) and spends all her money on the latest designer make up, bags, shoes, etc whereas he's really alternative and low key in what he wears and how he looks. It's such a case of opposites attract!!!!
Hot Chick Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 That is really odd she so fashion conscious to buy the hottest brand purses, etc. then couldn't wash her hair and dress decently that day.
mtber75 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 OP. You girls are really brutal when it comes to judging each others looks:-) But seriously, he probably looked beyond pure looks like a more compatible personality than yours? I have a friend who's married to a very unattractive girl, but they been together for 4 years and are expecting a kid...So it all depends!
mtber75 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Hello OK I've had a quick chat with one of his friends who also feels it's a strange relationship. His friend said that they don't even share similar interests. He likes playing and watching sports, she doesn't. She likes only jazz music and he hates it, prefering heavy rock which she hates apparantly. She has no interest in politics, he is a member of his local political party! Also strangley she's really high maintenance (so the stripper thing could actually be true!) and spends all her money on the latest designer make up, bags, shoes, etc whereas he's really alternative and low key in what he wears and how he looks. It's such a case of opposites attract!!!! Oh crap, you just described my friend's marriage! What a small world!
Author irma Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 That is really odd she so fashion conscious to buy the hottest brand purses, etc. then couldn't wash her hair and dress decently that day. I even thought it might be a different girl. Maybe his original (high maintenance girlfriend) wasn't actually around the other day but he asked someone to step in for her and meet me!
Sanman Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Before we get all high and mighty or rip this apart, why is no one going with the obvious explanation.... 'hmm, here is a decent looking girl who will sleep with me and I like sex! I'lll figure the rest out later.' this is what I have my money on. Welcome to male thinking.
stillafool Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Hello I doubt he was seeing her before we broke up unless it was really really 'on the sly' as his friends only met her a week before I did. He is reallyn close to his friedns and they see each other most evenings after work. He would have had to have kept her well hidden. I don't see why he resents me as I didn't dump him, cheat on him or anything, things between us just didn't work out. BUT I did tell him I was online dating a while before I met her and he seemed a little irritated by it and said 'God that's for losers' or something along those lines and then we had a laugh about it. I just took that with a pinch of salt. OK I've had a quick chat with one of his friends who also feels it's a strange relationship. His friend said that they don't even share similar interests. He likes playing and watching sports, she doesn't. She likes only jazz music and he hates it, prefering heavy rock which she hates apparantly. She has no interest in politics, he is a member of his local political party! Also strangley she's really high maintenance (so the stripper thing could actually be true!) and spends all her money on the latest designer make up, bags, shoes, etc whereas he's really alternative and low key in what he wears and how he looks. It's such a case of opposites attract!!!! Why are you talking to his friends about them? I don't think you are over him. It sounds like the girl didn't know she was going to run into you. Didn't you say she was in the neighborhood and called him to drop by? If that's the case she had no idea she would meet you. I've seen models who look like dirt on the street but once cleaned up....OMG! Also in the U.S. (especially in states like CA) women strive to be a size 0 and below. Also if this girl likes spending money on the latest clothes, etc. she probably cleans up reallly well.
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