shayla Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 hey SugarKane. you would think so. he has this unnerving talent to compartmentalize. so that any actions he makes are completely justified and undeserving of reproach. in his mind he didn't hurt me. i was just some crazy b*tch who got the wrong idea. never mind that we had been friends for years before anything happened between us. you would think he would have known me better than that. and even if he did he wouldn't admit it because that would mean he would actually have to take responsibility for his actions. heaven forbid this is why it's going to be near impossible for me to trust anyone else. I hope that in time you will be able to love and trust again, and I hope it will be soon. If your ex is the cruel type, he would like nothing better than to see you not happy with someone else. Talk about an ego boost! " Yeah, she was never the same after me!!!" Humph I found out after my break up that my ex had done that to at least two other women in the past, and they never had another long term relationship and have never married again (wife number 2 then girlfriend rebound after wife number 3). Oh God how he gloated when he married the woman he cheated on me with....but he should have known that shay was not going to be alone for long. Eight months since our break up, met someone 4 days after ex's little wedding, and we have been together for 6 months now. He wasn't happy to find that out...selfishness has no logic, huh? It is true that the best revenge is living well.
radiodarcy Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 I hope that in time you will be able to love and trust again, and I hope it will be soon. If your ex is the cruel type, he would like nothing better than to see you not happy with someone else. Talk about an ego boost! " Yeah, she was never the same after me!!!" Humph I found out after my break up that my ex had done that to at least two other women in the past, and they never had another long term relationship and have never married again (wife number 2 then girlfriend rebound after wife number 3). Oh God how he gloated when he married the woman he cheated on me with....but he should have known that shay was not going to be alone for long. Eight months since our break up, met someone 4 days after ex's little wedding, and we have been together for 6 months now. He wasn't happy to find that out...selfishness has no logic, huh? It is true that the best revenge is living well. thanks shayla. me too you know what's interesting is during that period i tried being friends with him, he kept pushing me to meet other guys. which only made me more frustrated and annoyed. it made me feel like he was trying to get rid of me. i'm a stubborn person so the more someone pushes me to do something the more i resist. but that's not a good excuse to stay alone and isolated for the rest of my life. i know i need to get back out there. but i guess i just need to do it in my own time when i'm ready. at first i did want to go out and find someone because i knew the ex was doing the same. but then i realized it would be for the wrong reasons. so i stopped. that's wild that you met the guy your with now 4 months after your ex's wedding! you must have thrown him off because he was expecting you to be remain alone and bitter. it shows how selfish he really is. you would think since he moved on, he'd be glad to know that you did the same.
shayla Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 What's even funnier is that my ex introduced us the year before, at a basketball game....he walked up to him and my ex was thrown and was forced to introduce us. After my now bf walked away, he then spent fifteen minutes telling me what a horrible person he was and why I should never ever be friends with him. All the while he was fooling around with another woman behind my back. Didn't matter, almost a year to the day later, we ran into each other. Caught up on old times, reminded each other about our mutual acquaintance, laughed at him after I told him what ex said about him and what ex told him about me, then made out like two kids....good times, good times. Yeah, what he's doing should not be the barometer as to what you should be doing, although it sucks when he's out there dating and carrying on while you are still mourning and regrouping. But you have to do what is right for you and in your own time, like you said.
radiodarcy Posted July 15, 2011 Posted July 15, 2011 i predict he'll crash sooner or later. he always has these phases where he's depressed about his life and prospects (career and personal); then he gets tired of being depressed so he goes out and parties like a fiend; humps anything that walks, etc. then he realizes that's not a life plan, gets depressed and slides back into his dark "woe is me" phase. i'm tempted to call this GIGS but he's 36 years old. you'd figured he'd be ready to grow up by now and start facing his problems like an adult. at any rate, this is why i would rather take the time to collect myself and aim for a more steady recovery. you know what they say - - slow but steady wins the race!
Author TaintedHeart Posted July 15, 2011 Author Posted July 15, 2011 My ex is having a case of 'G.I.G.S, she's acting like I deprived her of life. She is doing things she done when she was 19, she is trying to re-live 'The old day's' As she calls them. But her friends have moved on, most of them have kids, houses they can't afford ect.. So I'm guessing the **** will hit the fan for her soon. You can't re-live your old life. Not only have people moved on and grown up but your way of thinking chages. I'm not saying she's going to come running back to me once she realises this, infact I know she wont.
Sugarkane Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 Mack- The breakup makes no sense to me even after all this time. I doubt it ever will. They change their mind so fast, yet call us the pyschos. Yeah right. Shayla- It is weird that they don't want us, but don't want us to be happy either! As my ex is the cruel type, I would want nothing more than to rub in his face that I'm with someone else. I would just love to be able to phone him and tell him that. It would make my day.
Syndicate Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 It happens because the dumper loses feelings for the dumpee and the dumpee usually because needy once they aren't receiving attention from the dumper. Imagine being with someone who you didn't have any feelings for anymore and them bothering you non-stop, texting you, calling, etc... You would be annoyed.
Syndicate Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 After she broke up with me, my friend took me to a restaurant to cheer me up. At that point I could not eat or drink much for weeks. She called and said that we are back together. Then 2 hours later says she was just kidding and that she wanted to get my friend jealous. A few days earlier she said if I love her to prove it to her by killing myself. So I try to kill myself in front of her. End up in the hospital at which point she cuts off all contact with me. And after trying to get in touch with her I finally go NC for a month. She breaks it to tell me she is dating my close friend. I could not believe that the girl that promised to love me forever, that I loved so much could be so cruel to me. Seek help.
ShatteredDreams Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 Seek help. Already did...meds make me suicidal and psychologist told me to "get in touch with God".....I lost my faith back in middle school....
Sugarkane Posted July 16, 2011 Posted July 16, 2011 It happens because the dumper loses feelings for the dumpee and the dumpee usually because needy once they aren't receiving attention from the dumper. Imagine being with someone who you didn't have any feelings for anymore and them bothering you non-stop, texting you, calling, etc... You would be annoyed. That doesn't eman that the dumper has to be cruel though. Atleast have some decency knowing your going to break someone's heart. Doesn't mean you have to be a cruel jerk about it. Usually the dumpee continually tries to contact them as they haven't broken up with them properly. Trying to have a breakup conversation with them is like getting blood out of a stone for some reason. Why is this? Their lame excuses and BS lines. I've never contacted my ex ever since we brokeup. I hope someone does the same thing to the coward. My ex is the biggest Ahole I've met.
shortee143 Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 That doesn't eman that the dumper has to be cruel though. Atleast have some decency knowing your going to break someone's heart. Doesn't mean you have to be a cruel jerk about it. Usually the dumpee continually tries to contact them as they haven't broken up with them properly. Trying to have a breakup conversation with them is like getting blood out of a stone for some reason. Why is this? Their lame excuses and BS lines. I've never contacted my ex ever since we brokeup. I hope someone does the same thing to the coward. My ex is the biggest Ahole I've met. Exactly sugarkane. The only reason I contacted my ex the first few weeks after the breakup (done via phone by him ughhh, and given no reason besides that he didnt want a relationship right now) was to understand, and have a real, adult convo. That was it! I respected his need to breakup, afterall, he is entitled, but I just wanted to understand. Same situation with my recent ex, and my ex ex. So now- in contact with him due to our million mutual friends...and I just cant stomach him, and it has nothing to do with him WANTING to break up (sure that part sucks tho) but it is all in his behavior post breakup and how he handled it. Like good job dude, we were good friends prior to dating, and now you have ruined anything between us just bc you couldnt be a man. i do not know why some exes find it so hard to leave with respect!!!!!!
Sugarkane Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 Shortee- It seems when they don't have feelings for us anymore, the only person they really care about is themselves.
Sugarkane Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 I'm disgusted that my ex thinks he's hot s*** and when he dumped me treated me as if I was below human.
shayla Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 It happens because the dumper loses feelings for the dumpee and the dumpee usually because needy once they aren't receiving attention from the dumper. Imagine being with someone who you didn't have any feelings for anymore and them bothering you non-stop, texting you, calling, etc... You would be annoyed. In my case, I didn't want that mans attention, I wanted and needed his honesty. There is no way that everyone he hurt in this scenario was just needy. He makes a habit of using people then burning the bridge when they are no longer useful to him. He is cruel and he feeds off causing as much misery as he possibly can. It gives him a hard on to know that there are women he has scarred for life. He is annoyed? He is a little girl in a mans body. I am annoyed that he didn't have the balls to tell me the truth.
Sugarkane Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 In my case, I didn't want that mans attention, I wanted and needed his honesty. There is no way that everyone he hurt in this scenario was just needy. He makes a habit of using people then burning the bridge when they are no longer useful to him. He is cruel and he feeds off causing as much misery as he possibly can. It gives him a hard on to know that there are women he has scarred for life. He is annoyed? He is a little girl in a mans body. I am annoyed that he didn't have the balls to tell me the truth. Sounds like me dated the same person!
Rinas Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 These stories are awful, I hope you all can heal well. In my case I was the dumper, my ex decided to move provinces and not talk to me for over two weeks. Our relationship has been dying before hand. He was very insecure and controlling, it was a very unhealthy experience. I wasn't treated well regardless of how much I did for him. I've been NC for awhile, however I am already over him as our relationship had died long ago. I currently have my eyes set on someone else. Just remember - those who hurt us are much better off out of our lives, we can all do much better.
Sugarkane Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 I envy you I cant describe what its like when you didn't even see the breakup coming at all.
Rinas Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 I envy you I cant describe what its like when you didn't even see the breakup coming at all. I understand, it's hard when you're blindsided. I see your posts often around LS, and I see that you carry a lot of anger about what has happened. I don't blame you, but I know that you deserve so much better! In the case of my past RS I was pretty much emotionally abused, I finally decided I wasn't going to stand for it anymore. I thought that it would be a hard change, but I'm just fine. I can look at his photos without being upset, I hope the best for him.
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