mandy78 Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I have been with my husband since I was 19 and now I am 32 and he is 46. We have been married for almost 13 years. We have two girls together. We have always had our ups and downs. We seperated for 7 months after our 1st child was born, and we filed for divorce last summer and decided to try and make it work. I cheated on him last year because I thought it was done. He is a great man but neglects me emotionally. We are not in the same place in life because of our age. He drinks quite often and when he does he is mean and very cruel. Sometimes I feel emotional abuse is so much harder than physical. He has never actually hit me, but he has pushed and pushed me down on the floor. He is always making me cry and trying to hurt me. Everything is always my fault. I have begged him for years to stop drinking but he just wont. He does not get drunk all the time, maybe once or twice a week. He works alot and provides well for us, but is that really enough. My family wants me to stay for that reason only. But what about happiness. Its a shame that my oldest who is 9 will tell her father to take his drunk butt to bed. That breaks my heart into pieces to know that neither of my kids wanna stay with him. He is all I have ever known and I am so scared to walk away. Scared I will never find love again and that I will be alone for the rest of my life. I know I am not perfect in anyway, but emotionally I can't take the up and downs with him. We even have seperate checking accounts now. I don't want someone to tell me what to do, but just give your advice or personal expereinces. Thank you
andyg99 Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 (edited) well there seems to be a third party in the equation - alcohol. If he doesn't get help you should move on because you don't want to make the mistake of finding comfort elsewhere while you are still married... I wish you the best. my personal experience? you can move on and have a fantastic life but beware of letting them back into your life, it can be a disaster.. Edited July 13, 2011 by andyg99
coolheadal Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 The bottle is the issue. Sure none of us here can tell you what to do. It's up to you to do the right thing. Good that others can share our experiences and then figure out what to do in the real world. I take it you have got rid of all the bottles in the house? Do you drink too or with him? I would lock the bottles up if you can! That's what I do here. Otherwise she'll drink and act crazy. I am not drinker I can't say I grab it when we have a party but I lock it up and put them always. I don't want to see the bottles around the house. I don't allow beer in the Frig either. I don't drink it nor does she and when they come over those for the party they need to bring their own and take it back with them. I found those who drink want attention, but being drunk or not doesn't mean they're bad but they feel like they can do anything they want to the spouse. Just have to watch what goes on. If you can when he drinks leave that part of the house or go into another room. Lock the door behind you. Let him work off the gilt of the bottle.
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