hearttopieces Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 It happened. I really REALLY did not want it to happen. But to be honest, chances were high, as we work in the same area, just a few blocks from each other. I have promised myself that if does happen, I will be nice, friendly, happy, kind... and show him that I am absolutely OK! And I did... But now I feel so weak again. But in a good way... I think I want him back. It feels like the first day when I met him...But of course I know I am just being silly! During the 7 weeks of NC I had very strong urges to call him, but none of this compares to what I felt after talking to him for about half an hour... I just wanted to say to him that he was looking very good and I was happy to see him... But I didn't!!! Thanks to my good friend who reminded me of all the bad stuff about him... I am so happy to have such good friends! Anyway, I feel so in love with him again. Although it is definitely different this time. I KNOW that NC has made me at least a little stronger. And I know that it is all in my head. It just feels good to fantasize, that's all. I could tell we were both nervous, and he was surprised by my friendliness (probably he thought I hate him after everything LOL). And we are still so attracted to each other. When we said goodbye he kissed me on my cheek.. it was meant to be friendly I guess, but somehow turned out very erotic. I don't think he knew what he was doing! Of course I cheated again on the NC, and checked his FB yesterday after I met him... He posted a very happy love song to his wall. And yes I think it has to do something with me. But then again he is probably seeing someone already. He was just happy to see me, and there is nothing more... I guess I will just continue with NC.
wilsonx Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 you cheated on NC with checking his facebook. Just thought I would throw that out there. =) You should really block him because you always have that urge to break it anytime you want
Author hearttopieces Posted July 13, 2011 Author Posted July 13, 2011 you cheated on NC with checking his facebook. Just thought I would throw that out there. =) You should really block him because you always have that urge to break it anytime you want Yes wilsonx, I know! We are NOT friends on FB. His wall is there for everyone to see... In fact, we do NOT have any kind of "online friendship". We decided not to have any on purpose. When I initiated NC I told him I will never call him or text him again, as I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore. I know that it should have included the online stuff as well, but as his profile and wall are not hidden, I just couldn't resist and checked it sometimes.
wilsonx Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 Im pretty sure thats a huge breadcrumb =) Thats why blocking is so important so that you do not see that huge breadcrumb left behind
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