noirk1tsch Posted July 13, 2011 Posted July 13, 2011 I’m not really sure if the title accurately sums up my situation or it’s a case of GIGS but here’s a background (long one but would mean a lot to me if you guys could read through) My ex and I are both 27 and have been in a mostly loving relationship for 4 years. He was my 4th long term relationship and I was his first. We’ve discussed marriage, buying a home and even named our babies. We've had our downs but resolved them pretty quickly most of the time. In March I noticed this 19 year old girl paying extra attention to him on Facebook. He brushed it off and claimed that she saw him a mentor (My ex works as a lab tech in school so they meet daily) The girl was dumped by her bf of 2 years mid-March and started to call/text/im my ex daily supposedly seeking advice and a listening ear. I resented him for it (he's been neglectful of our relationship during this time) but held it all in. The whole of April he was emotionally detached and eventually made a decision to break it off. After hours of trying to rationalise with him, I gave in and accepted it. Only for him to cry and change his mind almost immediately. That night I found out they went on a rendezvous picnic date a few days before (through the girl's blog) I was furious and demanded a breakup. The next day he surprised me at my office with a long letter of apology. He went on his knees, begged, pleaded and like an idiot, I reconciled with him immediately. In that letter he wrote “I’m really sorry I ran away from our problems and distracted myself. I thought I could replace you.” I only had one condition – for him to end all contact with this girl. He agreed. We tried to rework our relationship but he did the typical pre-dumper rituals the entire May – finding fault, petty fights and withdrawing for days at a time. In early June I found out they continued their emotional affair all this while. I had enough and demanded another breakup. He came crying and pleading again. He deleted her off his msn list and hp no. for the second time. Like an idiot (again) I reconciled with him immediately. Two weeks later we had another petty fight and he unceremoniously dumped me over MSN (classy) I called him that night and he insisted on ‘being friends.’ I refused his pathetic hand of friendship and he made it seem like I was being unreasonable and that I was abandoning him. He told me that he still loves me and has feelings for me (what a joke) He got together with the girl a few days after. The girl still seems hung up on her abusive ex even after 3 months of her breakup (depressed and angry entries on her blog about her ex) Occasionally she does hint about how happy she is with my ex (still being coy – I guess they’re not ready to go public yet) And my ex.. I don’t know really. Is he on a rebound? Is she on a rebound? She’s the complete opposite of me – she’s much younger, attractive, naïve, ditzy, extremely popular, supposedly pious and has completely different taste/interest from me and ex (he’s trying to mould her into me though – introducing her to obscure music, going concerts and bringing her to all the places we used to frequent) My ex is the complete opposite of her ex – my ex is physically different, matured, patient and kind. She sees him as ‘rescuing’ her and a dominant figure (I wore the pants in our relationship) I guess it’s a real ego stroke to him. I don’t know anymore. Will they last? Should I really give a damn? He’s a cheating, lying scumbag but why am I still so hung up over him? Where’s my god damn self-respect? ARGH!!
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